Am I a shit mother

[EttaJames29]

2 kids. They are fed every day and bathed every day, but my 5 year old eats too many chicken dippers and sometimes they wear the same pyjamas for a couple of days running. I constantly tell them both how much I love them, how proud I am of them and that they are capable of anything they set their mind to. But sometimes I also let my toddler play in the lounge on his own whilst I sit on my phone in the room next door (quite often, during lockdown). I ask my daughter lots of questions so she knows that I am interested in her but I also get frustrated often because she talks so much. I make an effort to take them out for nice walks but don't always enjoy it, and my daughter seems happier at home on her iPad. The toddler is gorgeous and I smother him with cuddles but I don't "play" with him, my daughter does though. I feel that I should be more mentally "present", but I'm so tired.

3 months of being stuck at home alone with them and I'm really doubting myself as a mother.

No, lockdown parenting is shit

Nice to see some posive comments on here.
I have a just turned 1yo and a nearly 3yo. Both teething!
I do dance, play, cuddle, snuggle and sing with them.
But we also have too much Steve and Maggie on, they have nuggets and pizza, pajamas!? They're barely dressed as they have started taking their own clothes off.
The most we've done in 4 months is the youngest went for his injections, and we've been in the garden.
Its been hard. DH has worked 6 days a week, every week since before lockdown as he works in a super market, he had is annual leave cancelled due to staffing shortages because of the vulnerable staff shielding.
Its been hard.
Too much musket and not enough adult conversation for me.

*mumsnet (bloody autocorrect)

This has got to be a wind up?! Bathed every day, nope, clean pjs every day, nope. I could go on.

Do people really wash pjs after a single use?! DS is in his a week unless something is spilt on them...

We don't even own enough pyjamas to do that unless we did laundry every morning

I kind of think this is a wind up - but no you aren’t shit, we all do this.

And DD wears her PJs for a week or so.

I voted YABU as in YABU for thinking you're a shit mum.
You're doing great, op.

You're judging yourself by very high middle class, modern parenting standards.

Parents of old did not play with their children. I don't do playing either...I'll do crafts, baking, play a board game, read, but I'm not getting down on the floor and playing make believe or unicorns.

As for the food, my dc often get a freezer dinner...they'll survive. As my social circle broadened, I realised there's huge numbers of parents who feed their children this every single day.

You're perfectly normal.

Your dc won't be harmed by eating chicken nuggets occasionally or playing while mummy watches tv.

And on the flip side, playing dollies and making organic quinoa salad every day could have a seriously negative impact on your well being.

Bless your heart. I think we've all questioned ourselves at one point or another.

Toddlers are perfectly capable of playing with siblings or by themselves for a period of time. Exercise is good, but let's be honest, not always the most exciting hour of the day. Also, a lot of children are getting more screen time than they ordinarily would, right now.

Throw them in the garden for a bit, read to them at bedtime and maybe get down on the floor for a puzzle or some colouring now and then. Keep telling them you love them and smothering then with squeezes, no harm there! You're doing fine Mama 💐

I can't even get mine to wear Pajamas these days. They have become naked sleepers. Hopefully will change when the weather gets colder!

I voted YABU because you are a fine Mum. (See I can’t even vote right!)

PJ’s don’t need to be fresh everyday, extra chicken nuggets aren’t going to kill them (trust me I have a 17yo with sensory issues who lived off them!). You love your kids and are doing the best you can in some very extreme circumstances. Be kind to yourself

Sounds good to me OP! My son's only been wearing underpants for the last few days We're all just doing our best and muddling through. I worry/feel guilty sometimes too, can't help it. You sound a lovely mum.

My kids are fed every day.
They are bathed most days, but not every day since lockdown.
Our food shop is 50% chicken dippers.
I often find myself in a cycle of negativity with them, telling them off constantly, and have to remind myself to praise them. I do tell them I love them and give them cuddles though.
Sometimes I put my toddler to bed 2 hours early with a film and some toys just so I can get a break. Often since lockdown I use the TV or devices as babysitters! It doesn't really work, though. If it did I would use them even more.
We rarely do homework and occasionally play a board game or do some crafts. We go for walks, sometime only because I've promised sugary food when we get home.
I find our walks incredibly stressful and usually end up shouting at someone. My toddler runs off A LOT and is incredibly naughty.
I don't play with them often. I really struggle with pretend play. But I do do the tickle monster, peek-a-boo, bedtime stories and sing and dance with them.
My kids mostly play with each other. Either they fight with each other, they fight me together or they make mischief. They rarely play in a nice way. It's like a permanent power struggle. There are constant tantrums and meltdowns.

3 months at home and I'm just grateful for no A&E visits. I don't think I'm a bad parent. They are alive, well, fed, clothed, loved etc. I struggle with mum guilt A LOT but I know I am doing my tired best. I have no extra energy reserve to tap into to Make me parent of the year. I'm not going to sell any books or win any prizes. But I give them all I have. Me taking time for self care, is me doing my best for them too. I'm a mother not a martyr.

You sound like a good mum.
A completely awful mum wouldn't be worrying about these (non) issues.
I, on the other hand have just took my DC's tv remotes upstairs ( kept downstairs after 8pm) and a pain au chocolat and fizzy drinks and told them to chill while I tidy downstairs.

Sorry to jump on this but you mothers are doing fab !
3 months with any child rocking about the house is a great acheivement !
I on the other hand at
Now starting to feel mum guilt as one gran wants my baby on day ... and the other gran 4 days later!! I know I should feel greatful and embrace the help but wow it's hard haha!!
I want them to know her my oh keeps telling me it's for the best before we go back to work so she's not strange with any one ...
am I a bad mum for letting her go 2 nights in one week?!
Advice please 😰