Long relationships a thing of the past???

[Marianne22]

Long as in meet as teens / early 20s until 70s / 80s?

Do people still want the engagement wedding house kids.

My grandparents were married over 60 years.

My parents split when I was 16 probably together 20 years)

Time will tell me and DH have been together 13.

I think with Instagram and Snapchat plus dating apps their are so many opportunities to meet people.

I think with Instagram and Snapchat plus dating apps their are so many opportunities to meet people.
Instagram and Snapchat as opportunities to meet people? Not the first thing I'd think of.
Do you mean that marriages are more likely to fail today because of affairs? Or that people are more likely to leave someone, thinking that it's easy to meet a new partner online?

I agree there'll be less 60th anniversary type celebrations in the future because women in particular are far less likely than their mothers/grandmothers to stay in a marriage that's miserable for whatever reason.

However I do think we'll see more older couples who met later in life with similar interests having happy marriages into old age and genuinely spending their last years with someone who makes them feel happy/loved/cherished/valued.

I dont think people cheat more now than in the past tbh. I guess ppl move around more for work and so on and also its socially acceptable to divorce.

*which could explain why people marry a bit later (moving around for work plus more ppl going to uni etc.)

Thank you @dottiedodah!
My mum is in her third marriage and that definitely impacted me. Her first (my dad) she stuck with for 18 years but he was, from what I can gather, emotionally distant and neglectful. Her second was emotionally and physically abusive and it’s only by sheer luck she ended up with the third who is fantastic and in my opinion a saint for putting up with her 😂 I always had it in mind that i wouldn’t put up with that. There was no gap in my mums marriages she was desperate to be in a relationship and be taken care of and never set a standard for herself.
My OH’s parents were together at 16, had him at 18 and spent 26 years together before parting on good terms and I’m sure that’s shaped him.
We’re very similar people and we want the same things out of life and we are both committed to each other.

I met my husband at 23, still together 30 years later and expect this to be it - until death us do part. It is what we both want - we've shared the tough young children/no money years, are coming out the other side of children leaving home and looking forward to going back to the two of us.

It is interesting, my mum left my dad for a far worse man and had a miserable second marriage, so I know the grass isn't always greener.
But by the same token, my dad had a genuinely happy and fulfiling second marriage with a far kinder woman than my mum, so divorce was wonderful for him.

I am still young (32) but in our circle of friends almost everyone met their DH/DW either at uni or in their first proper job in their early 20s, then got engaged, then got married, then started having DC.
Obviously no idea how long the marriages will last, but most people still seem to be going about things in a traditional order.

Maybe we are just particularly boring as a friendship group

DH and I are childhood sweethearts. Met as children, got together as teens, married in twenties and are still happily together now in our thirties

It’s rare now and I consider ourselves very lucky. I do feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t had that; growing up and going through life with the one you love is an amazing experience.

@FatalSecrets agreed.

It annoys me that as in so many walks of life, some people are desperate to make this 'all or nothing', when really, we just need a variety of options available to suit the different needs of different people.

I don't need the rules of my marriage to work for anyone but me, my husband, and any future children. It's no skin off my nose if no one ever does the same.

(I feel very sorry for those for whom there isn't a satisfactory legal option, and even more so for those who NEED everyone else to be doing the same thing for them to feel they're doing the right thing. What an awful way to live your life.)

I often wonder this.
My parents have been married 49 years!
My first marriage lasted 12 years and we have 2 DC together. I don't regret a thing and we were very right together in pur 20s. I have very fond memories. The last few years were tricky as we had clearly grown apart. We were different and it was like the love had dwindled away. Ot was sad but we broke up very amicably.
My 2nd marriage is now up to 9 years. We definitely have a better fit now we're older. We are settled.
The thing I struggle with in marriage is compromise. It has to happen tp make a marriage work, I get that, but I feel it works both ways. I have been clear about my expectaions from the start and we have locked horns over hobbies, housework, money etc but generally work it out.
I still see far more women making the majority of compromises. Putting up with little intimacy, expectation to do the majority of housework, sorting out childcare and making sacrafices and the women who turn a blind eye to their partners extra curricular 'activities'.

Marriage and LTR have got better for Women, but I would advise my DD to think carefully.

@Awkes me and my husband often spend 6 months apart. Definitely at least 2 1/2 weeks a month. Probably why we are still together.

@Marianne22 don’t get me wrong sometimes I wish he would leave me alone but I’ve been conditioned over the years. I find especially overnight trips I’ll miss him loads.

I met my 1st-H at 18 (uni) and we were together for nearly 19 years.
He ended the marriage and it was a shock to me, but in retrospect we were both unhappy.
I wouldn't have chosen to end it, I would have preferred to work together to make it work.
I didnt want my children to have separated parents and all the lifelong issues that come with that (I appreciate that unhappy parents brings other issues).

My ideal is a long and happy relationship in which to raise children.

I met my 2nd husband and he was the love of my life, I knew we'd be together forever. He left me for someone else after 20 years.
You never know what will happen. Never.
Every single person we knew and all of our families were horrified, they said if there was ever a couple who would stay together forever it was us.
I was not aware anything was amiss until the day he left and never came back.
The day before we'd been walking down the road happily chatting and holding hands.
You can never know what another person is thinking, planning or doing. You never know what the situation will be in 10 years time.
I believe my menopause triggered his infidelity, I believe when faced with my ageing he couldn't cope and left for a much younger woman.
Unfortunately menopause divorces are very common.

Annoyingly we didn't even have a boring life, it was full of excitement, new things, hobbies and travel so not as if it was the same routine day in and day out or boredom, it was never boring.
But there was obviously something missing, it was probably sex, he wanted it everyday and I needed peace and quiet to get through the menopause.
You would hope a long term husband would be patient and understanding if their partner is suffering from ill health and suffering temporarily with hot sweats and sleepless night but many men are not prepared to cut you some slack as far as sex is concerned but clearly not mine.
He was very selfish in that respect. It was a compeltely one way thing, no compromise.

I met my fiancé when I was 19, I’m now 26. Should’ve been married this year. I hope I’ll be with him till the day I die. Lots of my friends are in similar positions, although we’re the only engaged ones, but all long term relationships from teenage years! All survived uni, travelling, moving round the country for work etc!
Granted me and my OH have changed over the years but we’ve had some amazing experiences together, travelled extensively and grown up together. I’ve loved it!

My parents got married late - mid 30s, now divorced so I don’t see age as a definer on whether the relationship lasts.

My DH and I have been married for 17 years. For us it was engagement, house, marriage, then it went differently for us because it was followed by infertility, IVF and then adoption. Our 2 DDs are 11 and 8 now.

I believe it's for keeps. We've been through a lot during our life together, but we're both committed to each other.

You don't know what life will bring, it isn't just break ups that can happen; my FIL died in a car accident and my MIL was widowed in the blink of an eye, at the age of 64.

Other marriages shouldn't go on forever, obviously, as they're abusive.

It's certainly true that you never know what can happen in life. I didn't expect to find that I was infertile and to end up going down the adoption route. Thankfully, my DH stood by me, as he wasn't infertile. He's never said anything to suggest that he resents the fact that we couldn't have bio DC.

Been with DH 30 years. Have no intention of splitting up!

Me and my DH got together when I was 19 and he was 24. We're now 29/34 and have been married almost 3 years

I do feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t had that; growing up and going through life with the one you love is an amazing experience.

Don't feel sorry. Many of us like having different relationships and the knowledge of what can go wrong, growing as a person on our own, having adventures with short term or casual relationships. I love my current husband very much, but I also like knowing that we met in our thirties when we knew what we wanted from life and brought the richness of our individual experiences into our marriage. I also love knowing that should it all go wrong, I will be ok on my own.

Definitely more divorces amongst 40/50 somethings after many years of marriage, I've noticed. My parents, for one!

I think it has a lot to do with increased expectations. In previous decades women just accepted that they’d bear the brunt of domestic chores and childcare. Whereas nowadays they become resentful when the husband doesn’t do his share and they end up leaving him.