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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 8 and 6 yr old

121 replies

HeyMaCorona · 16/06/2020 15:54

AIBU to leave 8 and 6 yr old at home playing the computer for 20mins while I pop to shop to buy DH birthday cards from us that I forgot to buy???

Not left them before and they really don't want to go out now they've just got home from school....

His present hasn't arrived so I'd feel really mean not giving him a card at least Confused

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 16/06/2020 18:16

Social Services not being alarmed really shouldn't be the litmus test when deciding whether something is ok for your child.
Is anybody's bar really set that low?

formerbabe · 16/06/2020 18:17

A 10 year old without SEN should be able to stay at home for an hour or walk to a shop and back, or go around town for an hour or so then meet back up with a parent

There is a huge difference between a 7 and 10 year old.

Mummyneedsabreak · 16/06/2020 18:17

I've got an 8 and a 5 year old and no way I'd leave them on their own. They would probably just sit watching tv but you never know who might come to the door, or they might start fighting, or god forbid you had an accident and no-one knew they were at home alone. Just take them with you or get the kids to make a card instead. I think I'd probably wait until they were at secondary school before I left them home alone for short periods of time!

Thisismytimetoshine · 16/06/2020 18:18

Why is it desirable for a 10 year old to "go around town for an hour" alone?

Hollyhead · 16/06/2020 18:19

Yes but @formerbabe the preparation starts at 7/8, small steps so the bigger steps are not a big deal.

myself2020 · 16/06/2020 18:24

i agree with hollyhead, kids need independence, and they need it build up slowly. Its tiny steps at 7, bigger ones at 10/11.
Overprotection IS a form of abuse, with long lasting consequences. while not leaving a 7 year old home alone for a short time isn’t overprotective, its also not neglect.

flamingochill · 16/06/2020 18:25

There's no rule that you can apply to this because children differ and the places that we live differ. My children did stay home for a bit at 8 but that's the age that they were ready mentally and they knew what to do if someone knocked on the door for a delivery (most likely "incident")
Leaving one child is an easier decision that leaving two as you don't have to factor in the sibling relationship. Will one child use this as an excuse to be mean to the other? Etc

Flipflopsaga · 16/06/2020 18:33

I’m so relieved you made that decision op. In response to your post, please never leave children of this age, even if it just a short time you expect to be away for. Life can be the strangest of things and quite frankly, it makes my blood run cold when I think about all the things that could go wrong, thus endangering them, when you are out. Especially during these crazy times, what we expect will be a short time out while visiting a shop, can be much longer and complicated than originally anticipated.

midnightstar66 · 16/06/2020 18:42

A 10 year old without SEN should be able to stay at home for an hour or walk to a shop and back, or go around town for an hour or so then meet back up with a parent

Yes my 10 year old does all this. She can walk home after a club in daylight and she's started going for bikerides with a friend. We started with baby steps at 9 and built up. What's that got to do with a 6 year old being at home. I think 8 is the bare minimum but I was mow comfortable with 9

pigeon999 · 16/06/2020 18:43

No, you need to take them, way too young to know what to do in an emergency.

Whenwillthisbeover · 16/06/2020 18:47

Would it really be twenty minutes to choose a card, get there and back? I started leaving DS at nine for an hour or so. But he wasn't in charge of another child, only himself, and my mum lives two streets away.

Monkeymilkshake · 16/06/2020 18:47

Did no one pick up on the poster that said to lock them in a room with facetime!? Sounds scary!

LookOnTheBrightSide1 · 16/06/2020 18:52

I'm sure they will be fine. If it's just up the road to the local shop and you won't be too long. That's just my opinion but you've got to do what you feel is ok for your children.

NoKnit · 16/06/2020 18:53

Personally I would have left them. Only because I live in a country where it is normal to do so. I've left my 6(7 next month) year old whilst popping to the shop. He knows to go to the neighbours and they know he is there.

Sweettea1 · 16/06/2020 18:53

@snowybean

Could you lock them in one room and leave Facetime or Skype etc on so you can keep an eye on them?

Alternatively they can make cards! A nice after-school activity for them both.

Lock them in a room with facetime yes because that's gonna help in the event of a fire or accident. Children should never be locked in a room
Serin · 16/06/2020 18:53

Don't leave them OP.
I once sent DS's aged 10 and 9 to school in a taxi after my car broke down.
The taxi driver called Social Services as he felt I had endangered them and shouldnt let them go in a cab with a stranger.
They rang me up to have a word!!!
Wouldnt mind but the 10yr old was as big as an adult, played rugby and was very good at Krav Maga Grin

Weekday28 · 16/06/2020 18:54

Yes i would. When I was 10 I was going out after school with friends. Its best in my opinion to build up slowly. In our area (generally middle class town in the midlands) many parents pop to the shop whilst kids are at home. Mine know the neighbours and can use a mobile if they really needed too.

LookOnTheBrightSide1 · 16/06/2020 18:54

Also a good idea anyway to teach children to dial 999 if there was an emergency.

isabellerossignol · 16/06/2020 19:00

I didn't leave my kids at home alone until the older one was 13. I might have done if the older one was confident but she's not, so she wasn't ready.

I'm quite surprised to find myself on a thread where people think that's late. Usually I find myself on threads where 18 year olds aren't allowed to open the door without a parent standing behind them.

InFiveMins · 16/06/2020 19:01

I personally think it would be fine if they are sensible children and engrossed in the game. They probably wouldn't even notice you'd gone!

eleventy3isthemagicnumber · 16/06/2020 19:06

Don't leave them.

Last minute present idea instead:

No idea if this will be his style but I know lots of people who like this:

This website has made up logos based on film references. Pretty cool IMO.

You can get a voucher by email. Get him a voucher and print it out - that's your card and present in one! Or just the email if no printer.

www.lastexittonowhere.com/

sausagepastapot · 16/06/2020 19:07

Fucking hell.. absolutely YABU!!!!!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/06/2020 19:13

No please don't. My mums ex partners sister left her 2 little ones in the house while she went over to her neighbors to either lend it taking something back. I
don't think she was even got 2 minutes.. Sadly it was enough time for a fire to break out trapping the children who tragically perished.

Ozzie9523 · 16/06/2020 19:15

Nope. Way too young.

farmertom · 16/06/2020 19:17

Way too young!