To leave 8 and 6 yr old

[HeyMaCorona]

AIBU to leave 8 and 6 yr old at home playing the computer for 20mins while I pop to shop to buy DH birthday cards from us that I forgot to buy???

Not left them before and they really don't want to go out now they've just got home from school....

His present hasn't arrived so I'd feel really mean not giving him a card at least

It's not in the least bit neglectful to refuse to leave your seven year old home alone. As if ss would investigate and demand to know why you don't leave your 7 year old alone!

I think they'd be far more interested in parents who are actually leaving their young children alone.

Its pure laziness

No way....

i started leaving mine at 9 and 7 when I popped to the shops but for 5 mins only. we have neighbours they know well, they can FT me if they need me and its important they learn to be responsible. and independent.

I think 10 is fine if they have been told what to do and if it's not a long time and they also have an older sibling for support.

During the lockdown we’ve started leaving our 10.5yr old home alone for 10/15mins whilst we go for a walk around the block. We take the 8yo though. No way in hell would I trust them on their own together.

I’m disabled and very rarely leave the house (I’ve been out twice in lockdown) unless it’s for a medical appointment but I do think, it’s an important life lesson that the DC need to learn.

@formerbabe believe me, social services are not the slightest bit interested in a happy 7 year old being alone for 15 minutes. we have neighbours he can contact easily (as in shout through the open window), I have a skype link open, he knows how to call me (or emergency services), he won’t open the door. he’s fine.

Should be no problem leaving the 8yo, take the 6yo - they get to choose and no arguments.

Get them to make one. Of course you can't leave them

At 10+ they should definitely be able to be home alone - they'll be going to school on their own at 11, potentially - shouldn't be a huge leap from whatever they're doing now.

However, I see the OP has sorted it.

Yes, far too young. I leave my 10 year old (did for the first time at 9.5) but no way, I'd leave my 7 year old and I'd never leave them together either as they fight

Get an old card and cut it up for new one

[quote myself2020]@formerbabe See, i would say its neglectful and overbearing to baby a neurotypical 7 year old. Opinions are different.[/quote]
It's neither neglectful (how could it possibly ) or overbearing to refuse to leave a 7 year old home alone with the window open.
What nonsense.

think they'd be far more interested in parents who are actually leaving their young children alone
They really, really would not be remotely interested in the situation described in the OP.

Really.

A PP talks about leaving it four more years? So not leaving them until they're 12 and 10?

I wouldn't do this, I didn't do this when my older two were this age, but they're not 'way' or 'far' too young for it. They're a bit too young. I first left my older two alone together (for less than an hour) when they were 10 and very nearly 8, and the 10yo was explicitly not 'in charge'. First left the eldest alone at just turned 9.

Some of the more strident replies on here are rather OTT.

CloudyVanilla, I leave my 4yo with my 12yo (or my 15yo) for very short periods - 10-15 min.

I could leave my 8 year old but not my 6 year old and I definitely wouldn't leave them together.

On a side note, we rarely buy cards anymore, we just make them. Even just a simple drawing with a message is better than an expensive mass produced card.

In my home country I would, but not in this country. I’d probably get reported.

Make a card or cards, including you. This year is not normal, and that’s fine. In this case it’s better than fine and those will be the cards you’ll all remember. The cards don’t matter anyway, it’s what written inside and what’s meant that’s important. 💕

I didn’t say it was neglectful to not leave a 7 year old, but 7 is when you should start thinking about how/when you make a start on independence in my view. So when DS was 7 I started leaving him in the house while I went next door to drop something off, or walk 5 houses down to post a letter. I taught him how to phone people, I taught him when and when not to call 999. We’ve now progressed at 8 to him being able to stay at home for up to 15 mins which feels appropriate. We’ll stick here for this year and then build on it by 9.

Honestly we wonder why teens have such poor mental health but we don’t teach them how to do anything, and we focus our efforts into reinforcing how dangerous the world is that they can’t be left alone for a few minutes. No wonder they’re all so anxious.

At that age, I'd have left them for literally a couple of minutes to walk round the corner to the postbox but not for 20 minutes. I started leaving them younger than a lot of MNers would but 8 and 6 is too young for me.

@Hollyhead Teens mental health and anxiety issues aren't because parents wouldn't leave them home alone or to babysit younger siblings at a young age. How ridiculous

I left my then 11 or 12 year old at home. I got a frantic call from her saying 'mum there's loads of emergency services outside, what do I do'. Luckily I was actually only 1 minute down the road.

There was a house fire opposite, you really wouldn't have known (no smell, flames etc). They eventually got my neighbour out and tried to save save her life on our driveway for what I remember as two hours (I couldn't tell you the actual time but more than an hour). The whole thing was traumatic and awful. Could your children cope with that kind of scenario?

It shook us all up to be honest but DD was old enough not to be put off being left or for it to have a long term effect on her mental health.

believe me, social services are not the slightest bit interested in a happy 7 year old being alone for 15 minutes

Probably but you were the one who described parents who don't leave young children alone as neglectful. Ss would probably not do much but I think I know which scenario they'd frown upon more.

Social services were certainly interested when I left my 11 year old child!

I left my 11 year old at home for twenty minutes while I picked up her sibling from a club. 11 year old was fine, still in the same place watching tv when I returned.

Next day I was contacted by social services who came to my home and said I would have to get a 20-minute babysitter or I would ‘get into trouble.’

Dc had told the school she was scared and they had contacted social services!

Honestly we wonder why teens have such poor mental health but we don’t teach them how to do anything

This is such nonsense. I never left my ds alone at 7 but that doesn't mean I haven't taught him anything. He's 12 now and is fine at home alone for a short time, he walks to school alone, he can catch a bus, he can prepare himself food. There is a middle ground.

@peakygal no not specifically but I do think the lack of independence and confidence building opportunities for them does contribute. A 10 year old without SEN should be able to stay at home for an hour or walk to a shop and back, or go around town for an hour or so then meet back up with a parent.