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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being really unreasonable re neighbours

122 replies

Mightymaniac1 · 15/06/2020 22:19

Sorry... it’s a neighbours one!

But I do really want some perspective on this situation as my partner and I are getting quite frustrated...

Recently bought new house on newly built road. It’s a road of only ten houses all privately built and we love the house and it has been very plain sailing so far. We get on well with the neighbours next door.

However there are lots of young children along the row of houses and as you can imagine with small new build newly sown grass their gardens are not giving them much entertainment during lockdown or even before then.

We have up to ten children scootering/cycling/roller blading up and down this private road, outside our front door etc. Quite noisy and a bit annoying but we aren’t heartless and know we cannot stop children playing outside our front door all day and all night.

However there is always a bike or a scooter (or tonight a helmet and a bucket) just left pretty much outside our front door.

Not sure we can do anything about it? But are we being un reasonable to be annoyed that we spend a great deal of time and money to make our house look nice but can not control a load of kids stuff being left by the front door. Or cannot reverse out of our space for fear we can run over several children flying around without any parental consideration.

Advice and opinions requested please!

OP posts:
StatementKnickers · 16/06/2020 14:26

Your second post is a massive dripfeed but even so I voted YABU.

Are you planning to have children now that you've moved to this very family-oriented street? If so, I would try to get used to it. Your children will do the same thing.

IntermittentParps · 16/06/2020 14:29

I really couldn't get exercised by the things being left by the front door. But I would be very worried about the potential to run over the local children, and pissed off by them cycling over the grass, gathering around the car and littering round your door. Can you talk to one or some of your neighbours? I mean talk, face to face, not a letter or email or WhatsApp; a nice friendly conversation about your concerns for the children's safety and your desire to protect your grass and not have a litter problem.

IntermittentParps · 16/06/2020 14:31

If you want your grass to grow and to keep them off just buy a piece of netting or some tent pegs and zigzag garden twine across it.
That's a hassle and I'd do that for birds or rabbits, but not people.

raspberryk · 16/06/2020 14:33

I think you're being a bit of both maybe? Kids will be kids, fine in the day and while they are playing. After normal kids bedtime - not OK, leaving bikes in the road when you're not actually out playing or on someone elses property also not OK.

I told the kids in our street if they left their toys in my parking space then I couldn't guarantee they wouldn't get run over. That stopped instantly. I don't even mind them running around and going over the lawn on my garden - it it just grass, and I like kids outside and playing. BUT I drew the line at standing on my bins, pulling up on the shared fence, screaming under my window while I was working and peeing up my wall Angry. It could be a lot lot worse OP.

Thisismytimetoshine · 16/06/2020 14:36

Why don't you just push the toys left by your door onto the outside path, op? You're under no obligation to store this stuff, or write labels cautioning the owners not to put it there again. It's quite odd for kids to actually park their toys in someone else's garden, though.
Are they using all the gardens as a giant communal playground? That would drive me insane.

Thisismytimetoshine · 16/06/2020 14:38

BUT I drew the line at standing on my bins, pulling up on the shared fence, screaming under my window while I was working and peeing up my wall angry. It could be a lot lot worse OP.
What sort of shitebags allow their kids to run amok in the neighbour's gardens like that?

Tink20161984 · 16/06/2020 14:46

I have the same issue. All the streets children seem to gather outside my house and scooter and up and down all day, leave bikes, scooters behind my car, outside our front door. Its highly annoying and I do get so annoyed with it. If I know whose kids scooter it is I just move it on to their drive. I haven't said anything as at the end of the day you are neighbours and I wouldn't want to live in awkward tension. But I TOTALLY get your frustration. When we first moved in the kids used to stand outside my car waiting for me to get out when I got back from work and ask me the most ridiculous questions. I had a 7 month old at the time so I used to get so annoyed as they would wake her. I would still be polite but through gritted teeth lol

Thisismytimetoshine · 16/06/2020 14:48

That sounds like my idea of Hell.

Orangesox · 16/06/2020 14:54

I'm going to stick my head above the parapet here and state that this would wear thin every quickly We live on a new-ish development, and purposefully chose our plot on a corner of the two main roads, away from the green spaces and the parks so that we wouldn't get kids playing outside the front door.

I must admit that DH and I never "played out" as children, and therefore didn't realise that leaving your bike and other paraphernalia strewn across the paths, and that playing on the actual road is not only acceptable regardless of how busy the road is, but that we would also be vilified for asking someones child to not use the pillars of our porch as a a goal while I'm trying to work from home.

whatcolourisyourwednesday · 16/06/2020 15:00

sympathies, we have some similar issues

they are actually really nice children but the parents have just encouraged them to cycle round our garden and as with you it's hard to fence off because of the layout/other people's rights of way/turning rights.

FrankieKnuckles · 16/06/2020 15:09

OP my one neighbour has all night parties & the other screamed abuse yesterday for us putting shelves up (the noise must have annoyed her).
Sometimes there a value in knowing you're onto a good thing!

lifestooshort123 · 16/06/2020 15:11

YANBU. I would take anything left on my property and put it in my garage 'for safekeeping in case it got stolen' and let the little darlings come looking for it. They need to learn responsibility for their and other people's property so you'd be doing their parents a great service in the long run. Alternatively you could sit on a deckchair out the front with a water pistol to deter them in the first place...

lockdownalli · 16/06/2020 15:12

@Mightymaniac1

Should add we have things like constantly cycling over the growing grass, gathering around the car so we have to ask to move so we can get to it and bits of their litter thrown by the door... so to anyone reading this thinking lighten up it’s kids playing, there are a few issues to them constantly being in our space
This is why I moved from a cul de sac and vowed to never live in one again Grin
Molocosh · 16/06/2020 15:15

YANBU, this is why I chose a house where most of the neighbours are retired. We get a few grandchildren outside but not very often. Tell them to stay off your property. Fence your front garden if possible. Or just reverse over the bikes if they’re on your drive - they won’t be left there again!

CallmeAngelina · 16/06/2020 15:16

I live in a cul-de-sac and there are no children around these days - all grown up, although it was nice to see them all sitting chatting again (at a distance) on VE Day. No bikes or balls no though. Sad

GnomeDePlume · 16/06/2020 15:24

We had the problem of children running over front gardens & playing round on drives. I found that random shouting at kids helped remind them that there is a difference between thine and mine.

Playing round parked cars is foolish for parents to allow. It is all too easy to not see that a short child is ducked down playing hide and seek.

bridgetreilly · 16/06/2020 15:28

Constant tramping over my newly sown lawn would REALLY annoy me. I would be planting things to discourage that asap, and even maybe a low fence or wall?

MangosteenSoda · 16/06/2020 15:32

This would annoy me too!

But I wouldn't do or say anything about it.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 16/06/2020 15:36

I have no kids and think YABU. It's a scooter/bike, just ask them to move it or move it yourself. Job done

I think it's nice to see children playing in my cup de sac - it makes it feel like a really friendly community. Can't believe the grinches who would object.

Norabird · 16/06/2020 15:44

@Mightymaniac1

Should add we have things like constantly cycling over the growing grass, gathering around the car so we have to ask to move so we can get to it and bits of their litter thrown by the door... so to anyone reading this thinking lighten up it’s kids playing, there are a few issues to them constantly being in our space
Is this them actually coming onto your property? That's a bit different to them playing out on the street.
IntermittentParps · 16/06/2020 15:46

I think it's nice to see children playing in my cup de sac…. Can't believe the grinches who would object.

Is it being a 'grinch' for the OP to not enjoy them cycling over the grass she's trying to grow and littering around her door?

Thisismytimetoshine · 16/06/2020 15:48

We are allowed to like different things.

Midsommar · 16/06/2020 15:50

This would piss me off too OP. YANBU. Just because kids play outside and are bored with not much to do doesn't mean they should be leaving their toys all over your drive!

Original poster
Mightymaniac1 · 16/06/2020 16:05

Thank you all appreciate the responses! A really mixed bag 😅

OP posts:
ThinkingIsAllowed · 16/06/2020 16:10

YANBU, they shouldn't leave stuff on your property