Am I being really unreasonable re neighbours

[Mightymaniac1]

Sorry... it’s a neighbours one!

But I do really want some perspective on this situation as my partner and I are getting quite frustrated...

Recently bought new house on newly built road. It’s a road of only ten houses all privately built and we love the house and it has been very plain sailing so far. We get on well with the neighbours next door.

However there are lots of young children along the row of houses and as you can imagine with small new build newly sown grass their gardens are not giving them much entertainment during lockdown or even before then.

We have up to ten children scootering/cycling/roller blading up and down this private road, outside our front door etc. Quite noisy and a bit annoying but we aren’t heartless and know we cannot stop children playing outside our front door all day and all night.

However there is always a bike or a scooter (or tonight a helmet and a bucket) just left pretty much outside our front door.

Not sure we can do anything about it? But are we being un reasonable to be annoyed that we spend a great deal of time and money to make our house look nice but can not control a load of kids stuff being left by the front door. Or cannot reverse out of our space for fear we can run over several children flying around without any parental consideration.

Advice and opinions requested please!

I can’t picture it! Can we have a diagram please 😂

I can empathise with you OP - I bought a new build last year and stupidly never thought through the implications of a corner plot at a crossroads... we now have kids constantly outside our living room window retrieving balls from our front garden and even worse our fence is used as some sort of goal post! Love the sound of kids playing but not so happy at my garden being used!

I think YANBU but sadly not much you can do

you could get some crutches and apply a fake cast to your ankle and put a note on your gate (which you don't have so - gate-area) asking whose scooter it was that you tripped over and broke your ankle because you want to claim on their insurance?

trampling over newly grassed areas isn't on though - can you rig some netting up?

If you are planning to live there for a while then I wouldn't recommend hiding or damaging their toys! If you want them off your land, then put up a hedge/fence or similar. If you notice anyone leaving anything, then pop out and call out to them and say something like please can you take your scooter/ball with you, we don't want you to leave it here in case we drive over it. Said with a big smile it should go down the right way and not upset/annoy the kids.

It sounds like the kids are just using the whole open space and have no idea it is yours and that it is annoying you.

Look on the bright side - how wonderful that you have nice neighbours and such a community feel. Kids should be outside in the nice weather, just try and nudge them slightly away from yours.

Set up a WhatsApp group for the street (useful when you want to borrow each other's tools/ ask if you can put something in someone's skip...)
Stick a note through all the doors inviting them

Be relentlessly positive about everything for 2-3 weeks.

THEN ask people if they could make sure their children don't leave their bikes and scooters on your drive as you're really worried about breaking them if you reverse over them.

Is a helmet or whatever a bid deal?

If you want your grass to grow and to keep them off just buy a piece of netting or some tent pegs and zigzag garden twine across it.
The playing out I could cope with, i think you have to expect that when you buy a family sized house particularly on a quiet street but not them riding over my garden or leaving stuff on the drive. I'd move it and prop it up against a lamp post. Maybe have a word with them about safety and being aware of cars, the kids near me fill me with fear the way they cycle round our development - the residents are probably cautious because we're used to them being there but delivery drivers come in like a bat out of hell!

That would properly piss me off too, especially the crap left outside your house. We don't live on new estate but at the bottom end of a cul-de-sac where the entire street's kids play on bikes/battery cars/whatever else makes a noise whilst screeching at each other. All whilst we are trying to work from home, with windows open because it's so damn hot. Schools can't go back fast enough for me.

It just disappears in the night. You know nothing.

Think of it this way, OP. It's only for a few years and then they'll be teenagers coming home at all hours, making a noise in the night, driving and parking their new cars all along the street because the houses don't have drive space for a 3rd car.

Or at least, that's what has happened here

Could you not just ask the kids to stop doing it? I'm sure they aren't annoying you on purpose. Just tell them that you'd hate to run over these toys. They will probably need reminding a bit, but if it continues you can talk to their parents.

Could you not just say it to the children. I lived 15 years In a small estate. I regularly put flower pots and ornaments outside my door on the path and they were never touched because I asked them not too. Same with toys , my father broke his hip and wasnt too steady on his feet and the kids always made sure to keep toys off the path and would even come off their scooter/bike when they would see my dad coming incase they knocked him. We just explained nicely and they understood and were very Accommodating. It all just depends how you say it.

I'd put up a low fence. Also, reversing into your drive is going to make things a lot safer. Reversing onto a road where children are playing is dangerous.

I'd start asking them to move over the toys. They shouldn't be on your property.

I can’t believe the amount of people saying hid them or break them! I can’t ever imagine being this spiteful towards anyone, never mind a child! Speak to them, they are your neighbours. And you should be reversing into your drive so you can drive off it safely.

I lived in a house with open-plan front gardens opening on to an unadopted road shared with some of the neighbours. One day when reversing my car on our hard standing, it clipped the back wheel of a child's bike that had been left on our private front garden without my knowledge and it was not visible when I got into the car. It had been left there by a child who lived further up the road and whose house did not technically have access to our part of the road. I did not know the child. To cut a long story short, the child's parents saw a chance to be on the make, and reported me to police. Two heavy coppers came around (in separate squad cars that caused a stir in our narrow cul-de-sac) and pressured me for an hour to pay the parents £100 for a new bike, They even said they would deliver the money across the road to them. I refused as I had previously offered, purely out of goodwill to contribute towards a repair of the wheel, and the mother had said that would be fine as the damage was not much. It was only later when her husband got involved that it escalated. The key thing is that the police said it was a Road Traffic accident, which was not the case as it all happened on my front garden, not the road. They were intimidating and threatened me with a huge fine and 6 points on my licence! I knew something was not right about it, and only later found out that the child's father was an ex police colleague of theirs. Complaints to the police afterwards were literally laughed at, and got nowhere. The IPCC were as bad.
Just a warning about a lack of boundaries in housing situations like this.

Do they live in the new builds? It’s just you’ve said private road twice so it seems like they don’t have a right to be there? But if they live on the private road they have just as much right to play there too.

Have twins. Leave your windows open night and day. That'll learn 'em.

I am not keen on these new build type estates with all the open fronts. No boundaries laid out. I much prefer a defined wall, hedge or something - probably I'm odd.

God OP its so rare kids have space that is safe to play in - it sounds like a lovely neighbourhood. Pleae don't hide kids toys if they feel they can leave them in the road how sad.

The WhatsApp suggestion above is a good one.
Also, if it's a private road, there must be a residents' group to pay for upkeep etc, presumably with meetings where things get decided. Any chance of mentioning it politely there?

Things will settle down once the kids get back to school and back to their various activities.

It's a weird time, they are around a LOT more than they're used to, and they're not doing anything wrong.

If kid items on your private property annoy you, remove it to the common areas (pavement/road/verges etc). They'll get the message eventually!

This would annoy me too, but then I'd never have chosen it in the first place

Why aren’t their parents noticing that they’re leaving things on other people’s drives and telling them to go and get them. The parents sound lazy.

Definitely put a fence up, and even a gate if need be. It’s months until the kids go back to school.

Just wait a few ears and the children will have grown up a bit. We live in one of 6 houses built about 23 years ago, 5 ;out of 6 of us are original occupants. There were 13 children on bikes playing out and making lots of noise when we were settling in. Now there are two teenagers and that is it. New houses attract young families and a great deal of give and take is needed to keep on good terms with your neighbours.

Kids playing/making noise on the road is a bit inevitable in one of these new build clusters. Normally it's only a lot during school holidays but under the current circumstances.... yes, they're going to be outside a lot and you just have to live with it. Such is life with neighbours!

Stuff being left on your driveway though isn't on. Next time it happens, stick a sign on it saying "please don't leave your stuff on our property. In future, we will clear it away if it is left here and you may not get it back". If someone comes round after you have cleared away, you can give it back, but tell them in person quite clearly that this is your space and if they leave stuff there, you will be throwing it away. Kids learn quickly which people mean it when they say not to leave stuff there!