Anyone else just broken :(

[Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow]

I’m in scotland. We are looking at part time school for maybe another year. Kids not jack until August.

I am just broken. I only work part time, three kids, two at school. Rightly or wrongly, I can’t cope any more. I have cried all morning and just given up. I appreciate this makes me weak - people have amazing suggestions for working at nights and triple tasking. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t concentrate, I’m exhausted and I can’t stop crying, I’m not depressed - I’m utterly mentally worn out.

I just can’t see any way ahead. I’m unable to do my job and manage any kind of meaningful work. I find looking after the house a full time job. DH job is being prioritised as we can’t cope without his salary. He is doing his best but has constant client calls and is working long hours.

I just want to get signed off and run away.

Has anyone else been signed off? I know my career is fucked now anyway and I will be first out with redundancies so what is the point of me even battling through.

Also losing it OP I have 4 kids husband and I frontline workers I’m working in full PPE , trying and failing to home school and everything just seems so pointless now . Nothing to look forward to and my mental health is shot . Found out yesterday my 16 year old who didn’t get to sit his National 5s this year hasn’t properly added himself to his classes online so assumed there was no work so has 2 months of higher to catch up on . I cried all day yesterday . everything feels so gloomy and dystopian . I’m a big advocate of lockdown but the school thing is going too far , my kids deserve an education and I don’t see how it’s right to make people who work enforce that , it’s unfair for kids and puts people with time and money at an advantage .

Sounds like a mental health crisis OP
And it needs addressing
OP this year after a very bad divorce and years of therapy I hit rock bottom
And started sertraline
It’s not forever , but it’s really helped
I also started therapy
You MUST be proactive about this
As what you are experiencing is tough and it doesn’t have to be so

Please speak to the GP
Write down a list

1 current situation
2 how you feel
3 how it’s impacting you

You should also talk to husband

Also , let the kids watch TV , screens and get out on your own , have a walk , just get some air

I had a conversation like this with an employee only last week, truth is, another employee is struggling as is my husband and I. Just as much as she is but in slightly different ways. Yes you do need to take care of yourself, but because of our circumstances if she went off sick, the other went on sick my husband whose on the verge on nervous breakdown wouldn't cope with much more, I would then prioritise him which would mean the doors shut on the business as I then couldn't cope with him, the business as well as the kids. I wouldn't reopen either.

The solution? We all work together and appreciate that we're in the same boat and sometimes you need to find a way to work through it as for us the other option closes down.

I wish my husband and I could be signed off but, we carry our weight and the emplyees weight and we are buckling and I'm very worried.

I am so angry that there is no plan for children's education and the thoughts that they might not fully return in September is rightly sending parents over the edge. The burden of homeschooling and working is largely falling on women and typically the governments priority is football, golf and getting pubs open, I wonder why If the numbers continue to fall as they have been there is no reason not to return fully in September.

I also think we all need to cut ourselves some slack, this is the worst crisis to face the country since the war and although we've not been in the trenches we have had huge upheaval to our daily lives and life as we know it has been turned upside down with the future full of doom and gloom. Also remember that if our DC were in school this term things would be winding down. They would be doing lots of fun things, school trips, outdoor activities, sports day so if homeschooling is causing stress just go to the park or enjoy some time outdoors and let's try not to be so hard on ourselves

Hi OP, I could have written your post a few weeks ago, I spoke to my GP and was signed off for 2 weeks. My OH lost his job whilst I was signed off and we have been desperately trying to find him a new job... My work have now furloughed me for a few weeks and I'm trying to just recover a bit, it's all been so hectic and so difficult for everybody in such different ways. You do what you need to do... don't be hard on yourself. Big hugs

I so appreciate the responses and I have read every single one at least twice.

The one about my team really resonated as they are great and I hate letting them down. But I’m the only one with kids. My manager has a SAH wife. There is zero support and I think had I received some support from work
I might not have fallen.

And then I think some people on this thread have had it much worse and my heart goes out to everyone. It’s just shit.

DH is off on annual leave today and I have worked in relative peace and managed ok. I feel utterly shattered and worn out and nearly phoned my GP but limped on another morning.

We have all sorts of lovely things at work like access the mental health seminars but in reality they have no suggestions.

Maybe tomorrow I will phone by GP

Sending lots of support to everyone.

Nil desperandum. When things are dark keep buggering on.

Yup 🙋‍♀️ completely scunnered. Trying to "teach" remotely, deal with 3 dcs, one with serious MH issues, a DH working insane shifts just now, a widowed mother needing care....I'm past it. I have taken to going to the cemetery to sit beside my dads grave just to get 5 minutes where I might actually think in a straight line. Today I've spoken (like every other school day) to numerous parents who all feel exactly the same.

O my, what a day. Yesterday was feeling much better, today all going well. 3.30 something urgent suddenly came up, I'm meant to finish at 4.15 and had to stay working til 5.45 - while the baby was having a tantrum and ds 6 was getting more and more impatient. The louder they got, the harder I found it to concentrate and the longer it took me to finish 🤯
I usually work early in the mornings for overtime I have to do as the baby is just not good in the evenings, but got caught this evening.
The baby is now gone to bed - I only got 15mins away from the computer with him before he went to bed, ds is on his iPad because I just feel too stressed to try entertaining him.

You are not alone. I'm not usually a weepy person at all, but I'm crying with exhaustion most days at the moment. The only thing I can say is that this won't last forever, and take things one day at a time.

Everybody has their own issues to deal with, and everybody has their good days and their bad days. Please don’t compare yourself with anybody else.

For today you’ve done more than enough. If your young ones are fed and happy just put them to bed and have some down time. Tomorrow is another day, you don’t need to worry about anything else till then.

It’s a credo that’s got me through some very tough times. Look after yourself. 💐

Today is a struggle here too, DD(5) has done practically no work since lockdown, DS(14) with SEN has done practically no work since lock down, DD(15) is sacrificing her study time to make sure the younger 2 don't trash the house / break each other while I work long days with maybe a few minutes here or there to check they are still alive / have eaten. DH works long hours out of the home.

Neither of us even had the option of furlough - key workers but not healthcare

I am crying reading the emails today about the plan for August - if they only get 2 days of school then they will only be learning 2 days - no after school care and my office talking about ending the WFH in August, I asked if there had been any discussion on how to support parents with no childcare but it's going to be individual discussions and arrangements (am reading that as we expect you to magic a solution out of your arse) - unpaid leave would only work if I can get someone else to cover my bills!

Can I just say you should just call the GP, even if it gets a fraction better, it won't last for long in my experience. There is just to much pressure at the moment. If you take time out now, you can avoid a proper MH crisis. Your body is trying to talk to you, it is telling you that you are working outside your limits for much too long. Fine in the very short term, we can cope on adrenaline, but for the long term there is just nothing in the reserves. If you are signed off for a few weeks it will give you a chance to get to the end of the school year (whether you do anything with them or not) and space to consider what other options are available to you after the leave ends. Your team will understand, really they will. They don't come before you, because without you nothing happens for anyone.

Please call, even if you are better, don't wait until you are too desperate.