Husband Leaving

[C2693B]

I am seeking opinions from other Muma’s.
I am a new mum with a 4 month old baby. I am from the UK and my husband is from NZ, we are currently in the UK in lockdown.
My husband wanted to go back to NZ so his family could meet our son, which I too want but after conversation we decided it was too much for our little one and muma as I am breastfeeding, the flight is around 40 hours with two weeks quarantine the other side in a single room, my husband now wants to go on his own to see his family. Which I completely get and support, however, I don’t think now is the right time. Our son is going through his 4 month sleep regression and has become hardwork, very fussy at feeding times and during the night as well, so we are getting very little sleep!
I feel like his responsibility is with his wife and son and while I understand he misses his family and wants to visit them I think he should stay especially considering the current climate across the world... he is planning to go for 6 weeks!!
I want to know if I’m being unreasonable in asking him to stay?

Is he intending to come back? Or will he stay indefinitely?

He shouldn't be going on his own and leaving you there; that's ludicrous.

However, I don't understand why you are not able to go? I used to live in NZ and travelled to the UK and back several times with (BFing) babies; the flight can be done in 27 hours (would you be stopping twice? I'm not sure how else it would take 40 hours) and actually it's easier to travel the smaller they are. It's the age when they are mobile but can't be placated with screens that is the hardest!

What everyone else said! He's being ridiculous for even entertaining it.

Haha yes that’s funny dear....oh sorry you’re serious?! Oh dear....

In the news today some big rugby game with thousands going. NZ man + rugby season = staying at home like the little wifey. Looking after the family and doing the housework.

As a Kiwi, given his current behaviour, I view him as a temporary expat who is "homeward bound". I would be deeply concerned that if you went too, and stayed too long, either pressure would be brought to bear on you by him and his family to remain there, or they could attempt a family court application whilst you are in NZ, claiming that you live there now.

In NZ, habitual residence is counted from the moment a legal resident (by birth, visa or citizenship) step foot on NZ soil. Its unusual, bit that's how it works there.

Be very, very, very careful, OP.

Have a read of this OP.
Let your partner go to NZ. Remain with your child in the UK.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3877702-Just-need-to-share-no-solution?pg=1

Is he trying to call your bluff so you go too? Because his original reason was for family to meet your DC... so how happy will they be if he goes without his child? I'm guessing you're just an average family that cant afford yearly trips to NZ? So if he goes his family won't see your DC for a good few years?!

@PicsInRed just read that thread. Chilling stuff. I wouldn't be taking my child anywhere near the place right now. Let him go and file for divorce while he's away. NZ men can be utterly selfish and very sexist,