Feeling very anxious after run in with neighbour

[Floralapron]

This is a neighbour who I normally get along with fine. We don’t talk loads, but they are pleasant/civil whenever we see each other.
There’s an issue with parking spaces outside our houses. We don’t have our own driveway or garage, so we park on the street. We each park outside our own houses.
Anyway when I drew up today someone was in my space and there was nowhere else to park on the street, short of walking halfway up our steep road otherwise. And I had my 20 month old with me.
I had a phone consultation so I ran in to do that, while keeping an eye on the window, so as to run back out and move it once the car in front of ours had gone.
Unfortunately halfway through my call, the neighbours turned up. I paused the call to go outside and apologise for being in their spot, also to say as soon as the other car moves I will move mine back. The person in question started getting very confrontational and passive aggressive. Saying things like “it’ll have to be okay won’t it?”.
Then I went back indoors after apologising to continue my call and they came past the window and gave me a throughly filthy look.

I already suffer with anxiety, and I’m feeling worse than ever since that altercation. I can’t stop thinking about it and I’m worried about another if it happens.

Not sure what to do for the best now. I hate confrontation.

Nobody owns the road, you park where you can get in. Don’t worry about it.

The space outside your house isn't yours, just as the space outside their house isn't theirs. You've done nothing wrong so don't apologise, do you think if the other car was parked outside theirs, they wouldn't have parked in front of yours? I bet they would

It sounds as though you were a lot nicer and more accommodating than many people would have been. Our road doesn’t have drives or parking spaces either, and people just park where they can. You don’t own a section of the road. Let it wash over you if possible.

I agree nobody owns the road but I’ve read too many of these threads where people get very territorial about parking.

Once you move your car, I would just knock on their door and politely let them know the space outside their house is free now and give them a big smile.

Oh my god. Don't give it a second thought. They were rude and petty. They should be mortified and owe you an apology for being rude and curt. (I'd also be tempted to park in their space at every opportunity. )

My ndn has earned a nn I won't repeat here due to being a parking space prat.
I went out to get my sun glasses last week and he was at his door ready to move his car into the space I was in.. Made a mental note to tease him regularly!!
Suggest he gets in touch with the council so they can be sure to mark out HIS space to avoid future misunderstandings..

OP you sound lovely and very considerate and did not do anything wrong at all - you have a child too so makes sense trying to park near your place. Your neighbour was wrong and unreasonable. I know it is hard with anxiety, especially as they are next door but let it go - it is not you and people might be stressed with the lockdown and other stuff at the moment and express their frustration in other ways eg to you. Not ok but it is not you.

Just ignore them. We have the same outside out house and we have one neighbour who is particularly precious about the space outside her house. I just tend to ignore it, the joys of having no allocated parking spaces tbh. Tough shit

The more you apologise for something that isn’t wrong the more they will take advantage. Don’t set a precedent of moving your car.
Park as near to your house as possible. Then leave the car until you need it again.
People get so cross over spaces but it’s their problem and they need to deal with it

Thank you everyone, I just feel so anxious and on edge now. I hate confrontation as it is. I honestly did feel bad about parking in their spot as I know how annoying it is. I know it’s not ‘their’ spot officially, but there’s an unwritten rule on the street as it were.
I just feel anxious in case I have to come face to face with them again soon.

Do you have a dp /dh? Next time send them to the door. My guess is ndn wouldn't even ask if he was home /has parked there.

Oh, you are waaaaay nicer than most! I wouldn’t have given a 2nd thought about parking there - it would be obvious why as the other car would be in your “spot”

Your neighbour needs to get over themselves. If they carry it on you are just going to need to tell them you don’t appreciate them being so rude and remind them they don’t own the road!!

Its not their spot. Its just where they like to park. You have said sorry. Try and forget it. If they continue to be arsey then send dh round to have a word.

Try not to obsess about it. They might be having a shitty day and reacted differently to your expectations. Just move it when able and get on with your day. Personally I would not be shitty to a nice neighbour with a toddler who explained they would fix the issue asap. So if anyone should be feeling anxious its them.

Don't stress about it, your anxiety is making you think behaved rudely. Which you didn't, in fact you did nothing wrong, she's the one with the issues. Ignore her.

I know it’s not ‘their’ spot officially, but there’s an unwritten rule on the street as it were.

How on earth does that work when people have visitors or deliveries? Surely the space outside people's houses must get used all the time.

Just park where you can. They should do the same.

You had every right to park there, you were incredibly polite about it & they were really rude to you. They owe you an apology

And this is coming from a nervous driver who hates non-designated parking and would find the whole thing disproportionately stressful. Not your fault, you've done nothing wrong, can't be helped, they've been v rude to you and should apologise.

Do not apologise for not doing anything wrong. That is a sure way to be taken advantage of.

They could have been gracious, they chose to be rude.

Do not allow them to bully you.
By over apologising now you are laying the path for them to be even ruder.

At the moment everyone is at home too much and neighbours are inevitably getting on each others nerves. I am currently annoyed with my downstairs neighbour, because he washed his garden furniture (for the first time in 9 years ffs) and then left the bucket of dirty water in the line of sight of my kitchen window for a week now. I've been muttering things about him being a dirty, lazy, inconsiderate, clueless pig under my breath for days now. Normally I'd probably not even notice.

It's probably because you're being nice and accommodating about this that NDN is asserting ownership over the spot.

It's a public road, funded by everyone. If NDN wants an exclusive parking spot they should have bought a house with a drive.

I have a similar issue with a neighbour who seems to have taken to policing the road outside his house and has in the past knocked on our door to tell me to tell our plumber to move their van from the street outside his house just because he'd "had enough of it" and he sees it as his piece of the road. I politely told him to jog on but I know several other neighbours accommodate this simply because he's a rude fucker and they see it as not worth the grief. Unfortunately it validates his behaviour and only makes him more convinced of his position.

I'm surprised no-one's posted outside his house before. If it's on road parking, you're both extremely lucky to normally be able to have your own spots.

You did your best, you weren't being awkward for the sake of it.

Do you replay conversations in your mind and judge yourself harshly, in this instance remember sometimes during lockdown people around you are more easily wound up and things get more fraught than usual.

Why did you pause your conference call and go outside to apologise?
Every wo/man for themselves if it's on street parking.

You were fine. I hate confrontation, I rehearse some polite but clear replies so if have to talk about it again I know what I am going to say. I wouldn't exactly apologise, you have done nothing wrong.