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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Insta mums

82 replies

FuckPolitenessSSDGM · 12/06/2020 13:40

I've just discovered that a friend is a budding insta mum. Normally I avoid insta mums like the plague but because I've just found out my friend is one I've fallen down the rabbit hole of looking at her posts, and the posts of the other insta mums she is "inspired" and it's reminded me exactly why I dislike insta mum's so much. Their perky, gleaming haired, organic wooden toyed, tuff tray decorating antics are hard to swallow at the best of times but now they are down right vomit inducing. Surely this is not a realistic representation of motherhood. Why aren't they documenting the days when their children press all their buttons, the house looks like they have been burgled, and they are eyeing up the wine at 3 in the afternoon? Who has the time, energy or inclination to dye rice crispies with food colouring and make pictures of rainbows, flamingos and dancing hippos on the tuff tray? It's all just a bit much and it makes me mum's feel bad that they don't do that for their kids. How are the insta mum's still churning out this nauseating content during a time when a lot of mum's are finding it hard going and relentless? I realise that I'm being a bit unreasonable and I am in a grump today so finding out that my friend is an insta mum has tipped me over the edge.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 12/06/2020 18:16

'I was hoping for something more exciting.'

The excitement (or not) comes from what you put in it!

They are great for messy play to be fair. Not the table unless you have a lot of space, but the tray itself.

peekaboob · 12/06/2020 18:20

You need to be following "knee deep in life". None of that fluffy perfect world there. She's brilliant and real and if I wasn't as socially awkward as she is then we'd probably be besties. Also "part time working mummy". Regularly documents homeschooling shit shows and child tantrums.

Fluffybat · 12/06/2020 18:37

Judgemental much? So you obviously liked the woman to have befriended her but because she posts on Instagram you wish you hadn't? What a shallow post. I'm an 'insta' mum. I'm a teacher and enjoy posting activity ideas on Instagram. I do dye rice and I do dye porridge and make my own playdough. I do it because my boys love it and I love seeing their faces each morning when they discover their newly set up tuff tray. My life isn't perfect (far from it) but I enjoy sharing my ideas to other mums. If you don't like it then don't follow.

Fluffybat · 12/06/2020 18:38

P.s. would like to add that my children's photos are never in the posts and I am not a brand rep!

maybemaybeII · 12/06/2020 18:50

Eh, just let them crack on. You don't have to follow them.

FWIW I don't feel the need to drink wine at 3pm and my house never looks like it's been burgled, and I have 2 toddlers 🤷🏼‍♀️

nowaitaminute · 12/06/2020 19:08

@OP
If you don't like is it because deep down you know you could do more?? we all have the same amount of hours in the day really!!Don't berate someone for trying their best to educate and entertain their children, surely that's only natural?? Keeping a tidy house?!Some people are better at that than others but tbh it's not rocket science!! As for doing hair and makeup...again not rocket science and you just need to give yourself time in the morning to get yourself together Confused

mungrymutt · 12/06/2020 19:14

🙄

mungrymutt · 12/06/2020 19:17

never heard of a tuff tray but I use a similar box for the dc. It's a large cat little tray that I got on ebay for a couple of quid. And no I don't publicly post photos of dc playing with it because I don't need validation & besides who would care?

RedRed9 · 12/06/2020 19:19

It’s a fun hobby.

Just don’t follow them and find some accounts you do like instead. Or delete the app altogether. 🤷🏻‍♀️

catinb0oots · 12/06/2020 19:26

@peekaboob

Are you joking? KDIL and PTWM are two of the worst specimens out there

peekaboob · 12/06/2020 20:42

@catinb0oots Not sure what you mean by worst specimens? Of what - people? I can think of worse. KDIL - I have mutual friends with her and her life is exactly as she posts.
I agree in part that PTWM has possibly sold herself out on some branding but her story and how far she has come.... fair play to her and I have followed them from the very beginning.
I even follow Mrs Hinch and my house isn't neutral toned and I don't have a minky Grin

TerrorWig · 12/06/2020 20:45

I don't actually understand why people want to see what other mums are doing. I mean, fair enough if you're googling activities to keep a toddler entertained but what then makes you want to see regular updates on what they're doing?!

I can just about understand reading a blog but I had no idea why making yourself feel bad looking at someone's staged 'perfect' life is even a thing.

zinger · 12/06/2020 20:58

Fluffybat, sounds amazing. Would love to follow you, what is your insta user name please?

catinb0oots · 12/06/2020 20:59

@peekaboob KDIL rolls around her house showing off her filthy underwear to all and sundry. She is vile to her husband and posts it to her 200k+ followers.

PTWM is a fraud and a thief.

So yes the worst specimens of both actual people and 'Instamums'

RedRed9 · 12/06/2020 21:30

If you don’t get it that’s fine @TerrorWig

I don’t understand why some people get find football so entertaining, or trainspotting, or love island... But I don’t begrudge them their hobby or interest.

roxfox · 12/06/2020 21:41

Some people honestly do shit like that with there kids on the regular. So sick of this hateful shit where people can't post nice things because it makes others feel bad.

For the record I'm not an insta mum and I barely have time to bath let alone clean my house. I don't follow people like that cos I'm not interested at this stage however if I did I wouldn't keep whinging that it made me feel less than. Unfollow or fix up and mimic if that's the case Hmm

WeWantSweet · 12/06/2020 21:44

When they are monetised and therefore curated, with children and partners as pretty much (unknowing?) employees I can see that being an issue if not made obvious.

1Morewineplease · 12/06/2020 21:52

Instagram isnt real life .
Don’t fall for it.
I used to follow it for wildlife photography until I realised that it was mostly fabricated and was just furthering the careers of wannabe David Attenboroughs and click-happy people who pertained to love wildlife but were asking for ‘sponsorship.’

BeNiceToYourSister · 12/06/2020 21:59

I don’t think I even 100% understand WTF an insta mum is, let alone a “tuff tray“ Confused Makes me glad I deleted all social media years ago - maybe you should too OP!

Homemadeandfromscratch · 12/06/2020 22:10

How are the insta mum's still churning out this nauseating content during a time when a lot of mum's are finding it hard going and relentless?

but when YOU are having a good time, who cares about the ones who aren't then? Hmm

Just ignore if it makes you bitter, you are only hurting yourself.
Some people like crafts and show it off. Others have a nice house, and show it off.

the house looks like they have been burgled my house never looks like I've been burgled, I don't like mess. I don't post photos about it, but being a mother doesn't have to equal living in a tip. I don't do craft because I don't like it. Not sure I would resent anyone who does...

worst than show-off on social media are the angry jealous ones who bitch about them. EIther ignore or be honest about why you bother.

Wilberforce1 · 12/06/2020 22:11

Everything that @catinb0oots said!

KDIL makes me cringe so much and some of her posts make me feel a bit sick with some of the things she says, I unfollowed her last week because I couldn't watch anymore! PTWM is a fraud!

IndecentFeminist · 12/06/2020 22:18

I just looked kdil up, totally overdone. Does she do anything other than the underwear/model joke?

PuntoEBasta · 12/06/2020 22:36

Just looked up KDIL. She has completely ripped off Celeste Barber, right?

namesnames · 12/06/2020 23:17

@peekaboob

What do you think her children will think about their 'tantrums' later in life.

Sparklesocks · 12/06/2020 23:41

Unfollow anything or anyone you don’t like on social media. It’s a far nicer life than ‘hate following’.