Insta mums

[FuckPolitenessSSDGM]

I've just discovered that a friend is a budding insta mum. Normally I avoid insta mums like the plague but because I've just found out my friend is one I've fallen down the rabbit hole of looking at her posts, and the posts of the other insta mums she is "inspired" and it's reminded me exactly why I dislike insta mum's so much. Their perky, gleaming haired, organic wooden toyed, tuff tray decorating antics are hard to swallow at the best of times but now they are down right vomit inducing. Surely this is not a realistic representation of motherhood. Why aren't they documenting the days when their children press all their buttons, the house looks like they have been burgled, and they are eyeing up the wine at 3 in the afternoon? Who has the time, energy or inclination to dye rice crispies with food colouring and make pictures of rainbows, flamingos and dancing hippos on the tuff tray? It's all just a bit much and it makes me mum's feel bad that they don't do that for their kids. How are the insta mum's still churning out this nauseating content during a time when a lot of mum's are finding it hard going and relentless? I realise that I'm being a bit unreasonable and I am in a grump today so finding out that my friend is an insta mum has tipped me over the edge.

@Ellisandra, I follow lots of lovely crafty, home eddy type posters...but I have zero skills in that regard. I have to live vicariously!

I find the "real" mums more annoying to be honest.

@namesnames I don't think it's black and white. I think parents should be mindful of what they post and how it may effect their children in the future, but the vast majority of children, posting a picture of them at forest school at 2 years old or at Center Parcs isn't going to cause them any grief or self esteem issues as adults even if their instamum had a lot of followers.

There absolutely are some people who abuse it, like Myka and James Stauffer, and the YouTube families like SacconeJolies and the Ingham's who film their kids every day and are extremely materialistic and have become so insanely rich off the back of it that they live live horrible consumerist lives with full time nannies, filming their kids opening mountains of presents on camera at every Christmas etc. These kids absolutely will be remembered for this. On the other hand, without their media fame, they'd probably still have narcissistic parents without the world travel and private schooling. Not that I am justifying it.

I enjoy a few vlogging families who are absolutely mindful about what they post and I can't imagine any scenario where this would impact the children later in life negatively.

I know a lot of parents who refuse to give permission for photos taken in school and children's activities to be shared online, and never show a picture of their kids on their own Facebook etc, and I respect their choice but safeguarding issues asside, I think that is a bit over the top. We don't need to hide our children from the public to keep them safe and protect their future image.

@user32742534

Thanks for answering, it's an interesting debate.

Missing the point of the thread entirely but who is that lady I've heard of on here who does all those tongue in cheek, piss take shots of famous photos and poses? I've a feeling she could be Australian? First name may be Celeste?

Asking as I'm thinking of hoping IG just to follow her

Celeste Barber

who is she op?

What the heck is a tuff tray?

I kind of know what you mean, but at the same time I don't eye up wine at 3pm, I dyed dried chickpeas for my kids this morning ( and photographed it) and I love making my kids days fun. I don't Instagram much but I do enjoy spending time with my kids and doing different things with them to stop the boredom.

Just follow people who bring you joy. A lot of it is just staged photos, like you might see in a glossy magazine, because people like nice photos.

Thanks names

The shilling of MLM pisses me off which a previous poster mentioned. Probably because they’re implying that the pyramid scheme has bought them all the trappings which drags in other people who are fooled by this mirage.

TBH if the insta perfection or studied useless parent blogs (or whatever) irritates you just don’t look. Especially if their edited highlights are going to make you miserable about your reality. It’s a meaningless comparison and a waste of time.

I'm obsessed with tuff trays and all of the things you can do with them...we have one but I would love to get another!! 🤣🤣 I'm not on Instagram though...I have had one literally since I had my DS!!

How many followers do you need before you're classed as an Instamum?

I don't think they'll be around for much longer. Lots of people are already much more mindful of the images of their DC that they place online. I am hopeful that it will soon become absolutely unthinkable to monetise your child's image online.

They're just like an online magazine tbh.

Why aren't they documenting the days when their children press all their buttons, the house looks like they have been burgled, and they are eyeing up the wine at 3 in the afternoon?

But that’s not reality for everyone either. Surely you know this.

I have an old school friend on FB who has posted pictures of her kids doing home learning every day of lockdown apparently we’re on day 83 now. 83 days of the back of her kids’ heads while they complete worksheets. Oh and their daily walks of course. She’s posted 2 days worth of pics of her kids eating happy meals since McDonalds opened. We can all remember that a happy meal looks like ffs!

Oooh salty there @Userzzz ? I presume you're MOD or similar?

Celeste Barber is fab. Knee Deep in Life is foul and an embarrassing rip off. TBF I've unfollowed most. The whole industry seems very tawdry at the moment.

@catinb0oots what does MOD stand for??

Unfortunateevents - don't know what a tuff tray is either so I'll join you in a Google search.......

I've googled tuff tray, is that it, a play table with a tray top?

I was hoping for something more exciting.

I think it’s unacceptable that children’s private lives are being documented and exploited for money, and that they have no rights to privacy in their own homes. When this generation grows up we’re probably going to see some lawsuits

Agreed. I use IG a lot to follow artists and crafters, but unfollow anyone who shares public photos of their children (who are too young to consent). It's gross to use children to garner "likes" "follows" and general popularity.

The absolute worst are the ones who preach "gentle", "respectful" parenting approaches but fail to see the inherent contradiction in doing that whilst failing to recognise their child's right to privacy. I could name some names, but I won't. (Amd no, I don't look for them, but some of my friends reshare their posts in stories).

It's all just a bit much and it makes me mum's feel bad that they don't do that for their kids. ~ Well that really is for you to deal with. No-one can make you feel bad without your permission.

How are the insta mum's still churning out this nauseating content during a time when a lot of mum's are finding it hard going and relentless? ~ Because people like you keep them popular.

Supply and demand.

What’s wrong with being an Insta Mum?

It could be a creative outlet?
It could be a online diary?
It could be a way to earn money/donations.

There’s a lot of positivity on social media. Stop focusing on the shite.