What just happened?

[SunsetOnTheHorizon]

Hi all... I'll get to the point.

Since lockdown rules eased and we were allowed to travel and enjoy outdoors with 6 people, I arranged a lovely day out with family, SD was obviously going to be observed once we reached our destination.

The plan was leave at a specific time, and arrive at the destination and explore together etc. It was a hiking activity. Lots of landscape to cover etc.

I started off the car not starting which meant I left a hour later than planned (bearing in mind as I had arranged this and been here before, I was meant to be 'leading' the way) Due to the late start, everyone set off without me and we decided to meet up at the location.

Eventually everyone arrived and it being a busy period it took an hour just to get into the car park. Once there, we discovered there was no mobile phone signal resulting in me and another friend being away from the group the whole time- separately.

I decided to plough on and make the best out of the day. Eventually we made contact but by then it was time to set bk off, home.

A whole week later, we got together in a garden of the homes of one friend. The conversation about the trip began and how I messed the whole arrangement up, how I 'deserted' some people. And how they felt it was something I caused etc. It all began as a joke but ended up in a horrible argument as I thought the others ganged up and were pointing out what went wrong and nothing was mentioned on how they enjoyed certain parts. And every piece of my advice was analysed and literally thrown bk in my face. For example, why did I suggest they ate after the walk and not take the food with them. It was a shambles. Sadly, I lost it slightly, got angry and stormed off.

Now, I'm being blamed for having anger issues, depression (news to me), playing the victim and running off. From my point of View I felt I was mobbed!!! Nothing short of a mobbing! After arranging the event (which was suggesting a day, time and place) I was put in the firing line for all the things that went wrong. Bearing in mind a few of them met up and did have a laugh.

Thank you for reading this long, but what are your opinions on this? Did I 'stitch' them up? Was I wrong to let them carry on and not wait till I sorted the car? And does storming off, slamming a door, using swear words when faced with intimidation equate to anger issues and victim playing. Bearing in mind I've never gotten this upset and reacted this way in years and years.

Let's hear it...

How many actual people are we talking about here?

Don'touch... I suggested to leave the sandwiches in the car rather than carrying them around as it's extra weight and take only water etc... Complete the hike, find a scenic spot on lower ground and have a picnic. Which is exactly what I did, bear in mind.

But apparently this recommendation was terrible as 'how much do sandwiches weigh'

Which is fair enough, but when you've packed for 4 kids and 3 adults, I wasn't going to be lugging that around... Hence I suggested this. But again, each to their own. They were free to make their own final decisions. I was being held accountable for stuff I suggested.

Well yeah they can make their own decisions how strange. They realise you are not their mum?

Do they not have brains of their own? They just go by your suggestions. How old are they!?? Honestly this is mad.

Lesson I learned a long time ago- do NOT organize anything! The moment you do, you will be blamed for the slightest thing that goes wrong. Dodge responsibility at every corner, that’s what most adults do. It means you’ll do less stuff but my god it’s not fucking worth it.

I booked a trip for 3 women (me included, all late twenties at the time) to Madrid. Everything was my responsibility and had to chase them to pay me back for 3 months!! One complained to me that the other one was too moany and talking about her ex too much. FFS. Those two were friends before I came along to the group!

This was someone who made over 100k a year, money no issue just lazy. Honestly, that was 2 years ago and never again.

Was it 6 households or 6 people as it sounds like households going if you were packing a picnic for 4 kids and 3 adults in which case this was way too many people to meet up? As to the rest YANBU except to book a beauty spot which presumably was heaving if it took an hour to get into the car park. I would have turned round and picked somewhere quieter. I think these things at the moment have so much potential to go wrong in that large gatherings are out, no toilets or cafes open that I am not bothering organising anything. I don't think you can be blamed for the mobile signal and the car issue is unfortunate but cannot see why that should affect their enjoyment if 4 of them met up anyway. As for bringing sandwiches surely they were all bringing their own so could have carried them if they wanted. Do they normally need spoon feeding like this?

YANBU- I don't think this should've been made into a 'thing' at all.

The main thing was your car didn't start when it should've, and that wasn't your fault.

If they disagreed with the food plan, they should've said when you suggested it, so you all or they as individuals could've considered doing things differently.

From what I've read, they don't normally do this sort of thing and you do so as you were the one organising it they expected you to act as a tour guide and were pissed off because they felt as it was all your idea then you ought to be been there.

They sound rather immature TBH and I do wonder how much you have in common with them.

Sounds like you were trying to micro-manage the others so when it all went wrong, they blamed you as they were doing things they didn't want to because of your micro-management.

You need to chill and let others organise things.

They sound infantile. They moaned because they effectively couldn't spend the day with you, then were horrible to you the next week? Makes no sense. They couldn't entertain themselves when they got somewhere nice, and they got het up about their sandwiches. Are they 5 years old? Have they ever hiked before? They don't sound very outdoorsy, they sound boring.

Maybe you handled the accusations and argument badly. But you tried to organise something nice, and it blew up in your face. Don't bother with these people any more.

Good grief, are they 8 year olds? Have they never gone further than the end of the street without holding Mummy's hand?
Shall we call you Brown Owl ?

X'd post with you there Crystaltree !

It seems odd for them to ambush you unless there was more to it.

It would make no difference to me if you suggested eating after the walk or not, if I wanted to take them I would. Why do they need you to organise them?

Assuming you let them know you were running late then you did nothing wrong. Shit happens. It wasn't your fault they couldn't figure out how to have a successful day without you.

they sound a bit pathetic you would think theyre on a school trip waiting for teacher to tell them what to do

I've had lots of days like this with friends. It happens all the time when you try to meet somewhere and then find out you don't have mobile signal and things just go awry. Never has anyone had a go at anyone over it - you just enjoy the day for what it was and try again next time. They're being ridiculous.

In all honesty, they sound like a bunch of petulant arseholes!

It probably wasn't the right thing to do, to storm out, but I don't blame you for doing so in the slightest - and for looking for new friends!

There were too many people on your trip and going to a place where you have to queue for an hour to get into the car park is bloody silly, that's really not in line with the current advice, which is still to stay away from areas where people congregate.

Your friends were arseholes to take it out on you though.

Ridiculous attitude of theirs.

Re the sandwiches for example - I suffer from migraines and one of the triggers is low blood sugar - so I would have taken my sandwiches with me, because it suited me. Despite any recommendation to the contrary, I know me.

I suggested to leave the sandwiches in the car rather than carrying them around as it's extra weight and take only water etc...

not a great argument, but other adults are free to ignore suggestions and do as they please, aren't they?

your "friends" were just trying to be negative. If they are old enough to drive, they should be old enough to be let safely on their own. If you ever stay friends with them, don't bother organising anything ever again.

What a massive drama over nothing (by your so-called friends, not you).

They were capable of waiting for you, surely? And if they had done, surely the day would have gone as planned, just running an hour late.

They were being very unfair, none of it was your fault - and they know it! It could have happened to any of them.

Don't let it get you down, this will pass.

Tbh, my experience is that if a group of people starts treating a person like this, it’s a lost cause. In a group of friends where everybody likes eachother and there is mutual respect, things going wrong - whether someone is to blame or not - would not result in a blamingfest and ganging up on someone. The majority of the group would probably try to do damagecontrol, and make sure everybody is ok.
They even don’t like you very much or this just normal behavior for them. Either way, time to make new friends.

There has obviously been a lot of chit-chat behind your back over the last week. That is always upsetting. Being ambushed and joked about when you have tried your best is nasty. I usually find it is those that NEVER put themselves out to arrange things that are the most judgemental.

Losing your cool was a shame, you lost the moral highground. But I cant say I blame you. They were obvioulsy on a mission to wind you up and sadly achieved it.

Glad you are looking for new frineds.

OP I really feel for you. I would have reacted the same way - not very dignified, but I'd have felt cornered and unfairly attacked.
This is why I never organise anything - people pick holes in everything, complain about everything, lay the blame of every problem (real or imagined) on the organiser. Difficult as it is, try to see it that way - people will just always complain and want to blame someone, you just happened to be their easy target. Not very nice of them, as clearly the car and mobile signal were not your fault, and why didn't they just wait for you? Sorry you had this experience OP, stay strong and hold your head high.