...to ask something small, that you wish you could ask your late Mum (or other loved one) from when you were a child?

[WeLovetoBoogieonaSaturdayNight]

(So, just a little diversion from all the turmoil lately.)

There was a perfume of my mother's, that I can still recall, even "smell" in my mind, from my earliest memories when I was a child.
The bottle was not on my mum's dresser, after I was old enough to become aware of her collection. And she never wore it again.
I remember and know all of the fragrances that were there, from when I was six or so.
This particular one, though, was a lovely fragrance she must've had from when I was an infant or toddler. It was still detectable (to me) on some of her scarves, when I was around five years old.
Recently, after a couple of years of searching, I think I've finally found what it was (!), but I can't confirm it with my mum.
Or my dad.
(I'm pretty sure my father would have bought it for her.)
My Mum died three years ago; and my Dad, five years ago.
So, it's something I'll never know
...and really wish I did!
Of course there are many other larger things that I wish I could ask them...
but for starters, I wish I knew this.
What is your small thing that you wish you could ask your Mum, or other loved one, about a memory from your childhood?

We're doing the family tree and we have so many questions, and are so interested in the older generations. I'd love to ask my grandparents about their parents and grandparents, and particularly to ask my Grandad more about his family. He was adopted and whilst we've managed to trace his birth mother, we'll never know about his father (not on the birth certificate) or his adoptive family. I'd love to know more about his life.

Oh, lovely thread. My wonderful mum has been gone a few years now but my brother just messaged me a couple of days ago saying he had made Jambalaya, but ‘It wasn’t as good as mum’s’ (haha, no Creole connection, we are from the north-west of England) we think it might be from the back of a Carnation can, would have been mid 90s, the internet is no help!

Aww, we miss her so much and much, much more than the jambalaya. I was a marvel to myself when she first died that I could still put one foot in front of the other and function I was in such grief but to those recently bereaved, it does get easier, you learn to live with the pain and look back sometimes and enjoy the memories.

Today, June 12th, is the 39th anniversary of my mother's death.
She was ill for several years before she succumbed to her illness at the age of 45. I was 10 years old.

I hardly knew her and I have so few memories of her.

There are so many things I wish I could ask her and wouldn't have a clue where to begin.

I would want to learn about her upbringing. My grandfather died when I was six and my grandmother when I was nine. I would love to learn about them and what it was like to grow up in a family of 12 children and what life was like as a child of migrant worker parents in the 1940's and about her life in general.

Over the years, I have asked my father, my many aunts and uncles and older cousins about what they remember about her. Obviously, it's all their memories and not from her point of view. I'm lucky that I am able to have a consistent composite of her. She was a devout Catholic and was a very strong, principled and honest woman who was trustworthy and a model daughter. I do really, really want to know about how she was all those things and yet, she gave birth to my sister out of wedlock! I cannot imagine how shocked my grandparents may have been to learn about her pregnancy. I have always wondered how she felt about it all and would love to learn about this part of her life. My father, up until his dying day nine years ago at age 75, insisted that they were married before my sister was born. Obviously, it was a touchy subject. After my father died, my sister and I opened a box that held my parent's two wedding certificates. The first was the official one that said they were married six months after my sister was born and the second was their Catholic Church wedding 15 years later...

Parents!

I’d ask her why she disowned me whilst I was pregnant.
I’ve looked at my children as teens and cannot fathom how she could have been so cruel/cold.
This question drowns out all the smaller ones sadly.

Lost my mum 10 years ago this year when she was 42.would love to ask her if she was truly happy and that she knew how much she would be missed.would love to let her see how far my son has come , he has additional needs and was her world x

There's lots of things I would love to ask my mum. Some about factual things, some about herself. She was quite a reserved person, and I've since often wondered if she was lonely. I think she was but either didn't realise it or denied it to herself. My dad had passed away years previously, but they had had a life of ups and downs, and she I think struggled with her/their past. So not only ask her about things but talk to her more in-depth. We did talk regularly but it was pretty much day to day stuff. Also, although I did do quite alot for her over the years, I regret not doing even more. She was a very independent, uncomplaining, undemanding woman. She's been gone twenty five years. If I could do it again I would spoil her rotten. Most of all, I regret not telling her what a wonderful, selfless mother she was.

I lost my father when I was 17. I’ve spent my life missing him, as daft as that sounds, because I’m now in my 50s. I loved him so much. He had an after shave that I would love to small again but I have no idea what it was now. Mostly I’d love to hear his voice and see his smile.

Do you think you'd recognize his voice? My parents died over 35 years ago, and I wonder if one of them rang me would I know immediately who it was.
I'd love to see them every Christmas for a short while, to tell them how their grandchildren are doing. They only saw two of them, they missed meeting five.

Mine died when I was a toddler. I don't even know if she has sugar in her tea, which has always bothered me for some reason. Surely all daughters have the right to know the simple, everyday things about their Mum?

I'd love to know all about how she met my Dad, how they fell in love, his proposal etc.

And I'd love to know about myself as baby - when did I sleep through, did I have a funny, what were my first words etc.

That's really very sad. Is your dad still around? I agree, you should know the small stuff.

OP, I wonder if that particular perfume was very expensive, her occasion perfume, hence her keeping it in the drawer so you couldn't use it willy nilly, as children would do with these things!

This is such a random one but I would apologise for the times when I was a twatty teenager when I used to throw things in the kitchen bin when she'd just taken the rubbish out and not had the chance to put a new liner in yet. I think it's a perfect metaphor for how teens treat their parents like crap sometimes!

I've found out so much about my extended family since my parents died - especially on my dads side, he had sisters and they clearly spoke to their daughters much more about family things, which I'm now finding out from my cousins.

Like the fact that my dad had an older brother who died in toddlerhood and was rarely spoken of again - but it's probably not a coincidence that my brothers middle name is his name.

And there was apparently a rift between my parents and my dads sister for a while, but I knew nothing about it.

I'd love to have been able to ask them about this.

Loads of things.

But whenever I hear some classical music that I don't recognise I miss being able to ask her about it (she had an encyclopaedic knowledge).
It breaks my heart to think of all the stuff she knew that I never will.

A bit different but I would love to be able to meet my mum when she was a new baby, a toddler, a teenager and a bride. I miss her, she was lovely.

I'd also ask lots of details about the time when she met my dad. I know the story, and I now work in the area, which is a lovely coincidence, and I think about it a lot as I walk around there.
She used to say that as soon as she saw him she knew she was going to marry him. I love that story now ❤️

I'd beg, truly beg, whatever it took, for her to stop smoking.

I'd ask her what she would say to her first grandchild.

She always thought she was a terrible mum but she was great. I feel like I could always do better with my daughter and I'd ask her if all mums feel that way or if i really am not doing well enough.

My mum killed herself two years ago tomorrow. She was only 60. I can't think of anything small, all my questions are huge and will never be answered. But I'd go without answers to all of them if I could just go for a pint with her again and talk and talk and talk. I miss her SO much right now, I'm having some problems and she's the only person I could really talk to about them. I loved her so much.

@VeniceQueen2004 I'm very sorry. I have to send you an unmnet hug. 🥰
I hope your current problems become little ones very soon remember everything changes.

Thanks @emeraldshamrock ❤️. One of those days where I can't even watch bloody Frozen with my kid without bursting into tears every 5 mins! I can only hope this time of year will get easier as time goes on...

@VeniceQueen2004

Another hug from me. It must be incredibly tough losing your mum in such a terrible way. There's not much one can say that probably hasn't already been said. I hope you have plenty of support around you. Sending you strength. X

I hope you got through the day ok, second years can be strangely harder than first.

Thanks @EngagedAgain and @eggandonion. Made it through reasonably well, find myself incredibly I'll tempered and bleak today about everything rather than specifically grief, but hopefully that's just hormonal!

I sent some flowers to mum's best friend who was the one unfortunate enough to have found her 😔 I always think of her on this day and on mum's birthday and think it must be just incredibly hard. At least I don't have to have those awful memories in my head.

Sorry I killed your thread OP, it caught me on a bad moment!! 😳

Yes that must be difficult, to find somebody in those circumstances. That's kind to send her flowers.