To think if you can keep your kids off school beyond September, you should?

[user8558]

Firstly I want to make absolutely clear that by "can" I mean people in similar circumstances to myself. I've no job anymore due to coronavirus, my industry will be one of the last to find its feet so I'm likely unemployed for the forseeable. Fortunately my partner is able to cover bills etc with his income.

I'm a bit wary of schools going back in August. For me it feels too soon.

However, I also know it's not soon enough for many other families. That working parents are struggling and for many other reasons kids are really missing school.

Am I being unreasonable then in thinking perhaps that people like myself, with nothing better to do anyway (and have the mental resources) are doing everyone else a favour by keeping our kids home to make life easier for teachers and other kids trying to manage in cramped schools? To make social distancing in the classroom easier for those who need and want to be there.

OP I think every parent should make the decision based on what they think is best for their family.

Doing it as some kind of favour to the teachers and other children should never be a consideration.

If you think it is too soon OP own it and make your decision based on that. Dont sacrifice your child's needs for others - that should not be consideration

Doing it as some kind of favour to the teachers and other children should never be a consideration

Agreed.

Homeschooling as a favour to others suggests I'd be doing something to my own detriment for their benefit. Which is fine if it's to my detriment, as that's my wellbeing to sacrifice. But absolutely not ok to sacrifice my children's wellbeing to make others' lives better.

Homeschooling is either the right thing for one's children/family or it's not. And if it's not, it shouldn't be done as some sort of sacrifice.

I actually hope it will be a mix of home school and school. Ours has SEN and finds a full day a bit overwhelming I think. A half day would do him good. I am fortunate in working ptime locally so could fit in with that.

DS has done great at home education wise and mental health wise.

I am scared of him bringing the virus home because both of us parents are vulnerable health wise.

He does miss playing with other kids. We try hard but its not the same.

Mind you, I do think of all the kids in the past growing up on isolated farms out in the hills - no huge peer groups for them. I'm not sure DS misses more than about 3 or 4 friends. As I say, he is pretty good with entertaining himself. He can't be on his own for another 6 months to a year though.

@user8558

If it would be disastrous for your child then why on earth do you think you "can", clearly you that means you're not one of people who "can" - because it would be disastrous

Do you really think my AIBU is "should parents for whom it would be disastrous for their family keep their kids at home anyway"

Why are people so hell bent on deliberately misinterpreting this post.

Bored I guess.

Well no, from what I'm reading people are saying just because you "can" doesn't mean you should. It's just obviously not the answer you were looking for.

Fwiw the main reason I think YABU is because how can you possibly know what you will feel in 3 months time?
Maybe you should spend that 3 months properly researching what homeschooling (outside of covid) actually entails, the long term pros and cons for your child, and then make that decision when the time comes?

OP, for me, it's not the 'can' part that bothers me but the 'should'.

Homeschooling (for real, not the lockdown version) is a deeply personal decision and a massive undertaking in so many ways. It obviously has a financial impact on a family, even if a parent is at home already, since all expenses become the parents' responsibility and any additional support that's needed is paid for by the parents (along with resources, exam fees, etc).

To homeschool properly requires a great deal of thought and effort and I don't believe that any parent should be forced to take this route, either in terms of legal or social coercion. It simply wouldn't be fair.

Ds is 16, had his GCSE's cancelled, hasn't been to school since March 17. This week he has received his A level timetable for September, he has spoken to his teachers & they keep on saying that they hope school will go ahead in September but they won't know for definite until nearer the time, A level classes are much smaller as there are only 80 pupils in sixth form so social distancing will be easier.

I mean if you can and want to then do so. My child is behind and has additional learning requirements and I am honestly a shit teacher. Our homeschooling goes ok some days and a disaster other days but I would say during the last three months our home educating has been more about keeping her brain ticking over rather than skipping backwards than actually learning and progressing Not to mention having not seen or interacted with another child close to her age for months. My son is in year 6 and has been back at school for two weeks now and it’s done him the world of good. Mentally it’s made such a difference to him from the slump he was in. He gets to see his friends even if they can’t do all the same things they used to. School is about education but not just the English and maths kind, it’s about life skills, social skills, physical activities etc.

I'm a bit wary of schools going back in August. For me it feels too soon

It's not going to happen. The government are not going to be able to force teachers back to work. It's in their contracts !

@riceuten

I'm a bit wary of schools going back in August. For me it feels too soon

It's not going to happen. The government are not going to be able to force teachers back to work. It's in their contracts !

What do you mean it’s not going to happen? All the teachers at our school are already back working in school (yr 6, 1 and R, with Y2 and Y5 back next week), so they won’t need forcing.

Unless you are a teacher you are not home schooling. You are supervising work that has been provided. Mine are teens and they are so happy at home. They chat to their friends online, play footy with eachother and work really hard on the school work provided on the school online system that has always been there for homework purposes. They also have some zoom type lessons weekly. They have both said they’ve benefited from working at home as it’s made them research more and be more responsible for their own work but at the same time they feel they would benefit from a classroom setting

I'm a bit wary of schools going back in August. For me it feels too soon

It's not going to happen. The government are not going to be able to force teachers back to work. It's in their contracts !

In Scotland the school year starts in August and not September like in England.

I completely agree!

You aren’t being unreasonable. You are concerned about your kid’s well being. Maybe take it easy and see how you feel in a month or so? Things change every week. You might find it inappropriate to send your child back because it might be unsafe. It sober meter what other parents think. You should do what is best for your family and what you think you are comfortable with doing.

If you feel you can adequately cover your children’s curricular needs when the school stops providing remote learning (which they will - otherwise teachers’ workload will double overnight) then go ahead.

So basically you want a pat on the back?

Do whatever you think is right for your family and your child. Others may make different choices for their families and children. Own your choice and don’t go fishing for external validation.

If you want to dereg your kid, go for it

No. Not a chance.
I'm on my knees trying to do it all.
I don't currently work but I'm not a teacher and certainly have no intentions of being one. Teachers are professionals, kids need the best people for the job and its not me, or any other parent I know tbh.

I am a qualified teacher and a SAHP so I have the skills, knowledge and time to educate my dd (year 2). However, my dd is going back to school as soon as she can. She is utterly miserable at home. She's gone from a happy, relaxed, polite child to a bundle of emotions, and spends all day flitting between absolute highs of over-excitable, hysterical laughter to anger, tears and tantrums. She's constantly back chatting and snapping at us, and being nasty to, or winding up, her two year old brother. She is struggling to get to sleep at night and needs me to sit with her while she falls asleep. This is not the same child from 3 months ago.

She needs a decent routine. She needs time away from us. She needs other adults around her. And most importantly she needs her friends. Her happiness and emotional stability shouldn't be classed as less important than any other child's mental well-being just because I don't work currently.

It's all dependant on personal circumstances.

I've actually deregistered my child and she will be home schooled. The teachers at her school were bullies and due to the lack of subject appropriate teachers and a total lack of support she was failing so I made an educated judgement and I've removed her.

There is a good home schooling programme in my county so she is joining that.

Her mental health has actually made a dramatic improvement during lockdown and she has friends she interacts with at a distance so she's quite happy.

This pandemic has been a blessing for us as we've lost no one to the virus, our finances have improved and long overdue important decisions re: education and mental health have been made but I'm aware everyone isn't as lucky as us.

It’s not just about their education. Their emotional and social development in interacting and learning from their peers is crucial for their well being. The summer months are the absolute best time to get them back to school. We will most certainly see a spike in the winter months due to the nature of the virus.

I have an even better idea

You are only entitled to a state sponsored education for your child if you are currently unable to homeschool them. Anyone with a non working family member is expected to educate them at home. Key workers will be permitted access to a state funded education. Others may gain access through the tax contributions of at least one of their parents.

You start with all your 'considerate' throwing the 200 year fight for the right to a state funded education for all under a bus and see where it leaves us

Hi @user8558 I voted YABU as I disagree, but can see your reasons. I am one of the parents that 'can' send my kids back (in September, as we're in England), and hoping too, as they desperately need the face to face interaction. They're not falling behind per se, but one's brain definitely isn't being stretched to his full capacity, and the other can do the work, but at this point I am hard pressed to even get her started (both secondary)

*to, not too

@NoHardSell

Call me a conspiracy theorist but it seems to me like we are being groomed to accept part time learning (if we're lucky) and I wouldn't be surprised if this temporary state of affairs becomes permanent. Full time, free education will be a thing of the past. It's terrifying. There's threads all over these boards where parents are called entitled for wanting their children to attend school and being accused of just wanting free childcare.

Many people home school their children anyway. There must be lots of websites for home schooling. I suppose it depends on the age of your children, how they are in themselves, if they enjoy and respect your teaching, if they are self motivated and if they are independent minded. if they miss social interaction with their peers you may try to arrange a Bubble with some of their friends. But if they have enjoyed school life before lockdown, you could have a conversation with them to find out what they would prefer. If it was me, and I felt excited about taking on the role, I would keep my children home. Especially now that there seems to be more possibility of a second wave of infections because of all the demos and riots going on as well as shops etc opening and people behaving as if all is back to normal.