Spectacular work from MIL

[CraftyGardener]

(Background, DH is an only child and she sobbed the day he moved in with mead I'd stolen her baby).

MIL has surpassed herself in the passive aggressive stakes. 10th wedding anniversary card arrives, she's consistently spelled my name incorrectly throughout. And I mean it's a real stretch to misspell my name. I never rise to her as it would upset DH but I know she won't be able to resist and will say something like 'oh I'm paranoid I made a spelling mistake on your card'. WIBU to respond 'oh no worries, probably a senior moment!'?

[bumpsadaisy11]

@wingsandstrings I love your mum. What a fabulous lady xx

[IntermittentParps]

I'd be tempted to respond 'Oh, I assumed you did it deliberately to annoy me.' and see what she says to that.

YANBU, anyway.

[MaggieFS]

@bubbleup I put cards up so I can look at them. I don't put them up for DM to have a full nosey through and probably even comment on. Knowing this is what she does, they are moved before she comes round

[wrongsideofhistorymyarse]

My former pass-agg inlaws sent us an anniversary card the week before we were due to split up. 'With memories of a lovely day'.

Yes, it was a lovely day. Shame I had to stay married to him.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

May I offer you my now long gone MIL's gem?

She always referred to me, accidentally as Claire. For years she would do that. We were always bemused as my name is toally different, only shares one letter with Claire, the e not the C!

After about 7 years we were at Sunday dinner and she was a tad more pissed than usual and she shouted at me. A moment of clarity we'll never forget

MIL: Real Name, why have you never got angry when I called you by DHs first girl friends name?
Me: ???
DH: Mum, that was brothers girlfriend!
BIL: You went out with Claire too?
DH: no...
BIL: Bastard..

And on it went!

I gave up when PoisonousSILs mother introduced us to the priest who was to marry PSIL and BIL "And here is DH, the brother she should be marrying!"

I often think I imagined it, but DH and BIL remember it clearly too!

[HeronLanyon]

Oh don’t even think about it - your wonky spelling always gives us a good laugh.

[Ihopeyourcakeisshit]

@pallasathena wtf?

[ShortColdandGrey]

My DH's aunt sends a Christmas card every year. She is still upset that her wedding invite got sent to wrong address. FIL gave us the wrong address and she thinks she wasn't invited. My name has been incorrect every year, she deliberately gets my name wrong to me face whenever we meet. Last year my name correct or otherwise didn't make the card . Makes me laugh every year.

[QuizzlyBear]

My MIL regularly buys us 'family treats' - coincidentally every single one contains nuts, to which I'm allergic.

She's known of this allergy for nearly twenty years. I'm almost impressed at this stage by her commitment to either trying to kill me off, or just sourcing increasingly odd ways of trying to exclude me.

Luckily, I no longer give a shiny shit.

[Ohtherewearethen]

@pallasathena - someone had wasps for dinner!

OP, if your MIL does say to you, Oh I'm worried I've made a mistake with your name, reply with, Oh really, why? Then sound it out phonetically like you would to a 5 year old. Finish with, It's so simple you'd really have to make an effort to spell it wrong.

[Feedingthebirds1]

I wouldn't do the 'oh I didn't notice' or 'I haven't opened it yet'.

If you don't acknowledge it you can't challenge it or react to it. Say cheerfully 'yes I noticed that, it doesn't matter' and change the subject.

[Carolbaskinstiger]

Go on the offensive op! Call her and say “I’ve noticed you spelt my name wrong - which you’ve never done before. This has concerned dh greatly that you may have memory issues.” Then make a huge fuss of how she needs to see her gp etc. Ask if it’s affecting her at work, etc etc

[Hannah4banana]

My last birthday card was addressed to Mrs "husbands name"
Couldn't work out if it was sexist or just old fashioned

[CatsOfSummer]

I have a ex-colleague who does that @Hannah4banana. She’s lovely but very old fashioned with regards to how names are displayed on stationery/admin, my birthday cards come to ‘Mrs [DH’s initial or first name] [our surname]. She sent a card for DS once with Master on as his title but I quite liked that

[lurker69]

i agree that ignoring it probably drives her mad! my mil calls me a totally different name like as in my name is Sarah she call me Rachel.. its fine i call her much worse just not to her face

[CJsGoldfish]

That’s the thing though CJs that’s an accident in a good relationship. Not an engineered slight in a bad relationship

You assume I like my niece. Whether I do or not, the error was completely out of my control. As have other similar ones. The MIL may very well be as bad as the OP says but it doesn't mean the name was purposely written that way. Though I guess it wouldn't fit the narrative if it wasn't maliciously done.

I love my niece very much btw

[feelingfragile]

The Mrs (husband's initial) (Surname) is an old fashioned etiquette thing. Mum and dad still do it with people of their generation and I do it for them because they like it. It's not evidence of someone having a pop

[trappedsincesundaymorn]

I would go with

"Oh don't worry about spelling my name wrong, it didn't bother me at all, although it did take a while to calm your son down because he was fuming. But it's ok now I told him it really wasn't worth him cutting all contact with you".

It would scare the shit out of her and she'd never do it again.....or at least my MiL didn't.