dp says he’s leaving in 3 months no financial help during pandemic

[flopseyR72]

I feel like I can’t make a decision.
dp says he is going to move out of our rented flat in three months it’s 2k a month so I can’t really afford it own
I pay all my dc nursery fees myself already
I was going to buy a house before lockdown in Essex Greater London but now I’m really nervous about a house price crash and recession.
My dd needs to start school in September and has a place locally.
I thought would have moved by now but didn’t do anything during the lockdown
My job is secure nhs
I earn good salary
My dp and me need to split up I don’t like him and I’m not upset about it
I just don’t know what to do about buying moving or renting. I want to give my dp stability I have moved four times since dd 4 was born.
My dp says he can’t afford to give me anything as he’s going to rent himself
I feel really unsure.
What would you do. Buy now although economic recession is looming and local house prices are grossly inflated here or rent somewhere smaller

Im just typing fast sorry for typos

He is in a high paying profession. He just isn’t working because government shut down his practice

Maybe long term I don’t need him to pay but I need him to help out now.

We are not married and don’t have joint finances

He is not getting unsupervised access unless he takes me to court due to his verbal outbursts, shoving kids and now less frequent binge drinking and crazy ideas

I would probably get a second opinion on the housing market situation, they may say wait but there is likely to be a deal to be had somewhere and it may answer your question about now or later with regards to buying.
Some NHS jobs are location specific... so you have to be a max of X miles from the place of work. If that's the case, then I would probably stick with rental until you find your forever home in your area... maybe a do upper could be an option?
Alternatively, if you can commute, lots of cheaper housing as you move further away from London and if you can wfh a portion of the week, it will reduce your traveling costs.

I’m just typing fast.

English is very much my first and only language. I’ll try to do better for those who like better punctuation! 😊

Sell and move to yorkshire. Much cheaper

Not sure how workable it would be for you, but if it was me, I’d be tempted to buy something smaller/ cheaper as a temporary measure and then either sell it or rent it out. Something more affordable to first time buyers, even if it’s a squish for your family in the short term. It should then be easier to sell on as first time buyers will always want to buy and the scope for a loss in value is less. Stamp duty if you kept it and bought your family home later would be a lot though.

Alternatively, if you’re thinking you’ll be there 5 years min, and you’re buying in Greater London, I think I’d buy without feeling it was too risky. There’s still a shortage of housing everywhere.

I wouldn't take much notice of house prices crashing, they may lose 1-2% short term but not much more than that. You seem to be a well paid professional within the NHS, can you use that transferability and move to a cheaper area ?

Most of Essex has houses for less than £750K. I think you need to look a bit harder. Also, if you do buy, get good insurances as you'll be solely responsible for your mortgage. I wouldn't overstretch - children need a loving, secure home not a fancy show home and a stressed parent. I would also wait for a year to buy.

Lots of houses in that area under 750k. Where are you looking exactly?

I think you need to work out sensibly what you can afford alone and leave him out of the picture for the time being. If he’s not earning he can’t give you anything and even a CMS claim can’t get money where there isn’t any.

Buying in an uncertain market is only really issue if you’re not looking for at least a medium term home. London prices are not going to crash or even fall substantially enough that you need to worry about it if you’re intending to live there for several years. Just don’t stretch yourself (you don’t need £750K to buy a three-bed in Greater London, you’ll get a lovely place in a good area for much less.)

Best option is to give yourself time and postpone any hasty house buying decision. Rent another place for yourself and the 2 kids.
My son has lived in 7 houses! We only got the forever house when he was 11. The kids will be fine. They don't have the 'security' and long-term worries that a grown up has. They only think 'where will I sleep' and will my toys be there, and then they are happy. Rent and take this other pressure off yourself. There will be plenty of houses.

I don’t have anything to sell

My family are in Scotland

I don’t have lots of close friends here

I was going to move to Scotland but job fell through so now I have lost some confidence about changing jobs. The conditions in my job are good. Part time and wfh.

And go sooner than 3 months (unless there's a lease you personally are tied into?) if you can so you can have a nicer bit of summer without him.

CrystalMaisie Thu 11-Jun-20 11:24:41
100k for poor spelling and grammar? hmm
....
Oh stop it. It's not that bad at all.
Yesterday I read countless posts, including opening posts, with many sentences starting in 'So", never mind the 'couldn't ofs'. The op's written English is pristine compared to those.

I feel very sorry for you, op. Perhaps you could go ahead with your Essex house by and have someone lodge with you to help with the expenses. Otherwise, as someone else suggested, find a place to rent securely for a few years while the housing market settles down. That could also be big enough to share but of course you may not fancy the idea of a stranger in your home with your children.

Your partner cannot get off scot free, he has children.

Good luck.

He needs to pay a fair share towards his childrens costs rather than leaving it all down to you.

I'd be looking to buy - as this current tenancy comes to an end - and taking a long term view. So space for the children as they grow up. Any struggle now will be worth it in the long term. Prices may drop after you've bought but almost certainly they will recover in time.
Whether you can get anything out of your almost-ex now is another matter, I suppose he's got used to having it all to himself for a long time

Have been looking Chigwell Loughton and Epping

Over £100K and you work part time, from home? What do you do?

If you have savings for a deposit, your can buy on that salary.

What income will he have after he retires?

Get a claim in for maintenance, your kids deserve to be financially supported by both parents.

Stay in your current job for now. I'd rent atm and wait and see for the next year or so.
Could you make a long term plan to move to scotland to be with family?
Having read your update about verbal abuse and shoving kids just get him gone - or you and the kids go if he wont?
Sorry this is happening OP and also that you seem to be getting some stick just for being a high earner.
It's really good you're not married that should make things more straightforward with the finances.

I might not buy immediately and see what happens with the market. Nothing to stop you looking around, researching schools and planning the financials eg how much mortgage you could get. It’s a long process anyway.

Also interested in your job - part time, NHS, wfh with two small children and £100k - wow!

OP, I earn similar and bought on my own post-divorce with plenty of debt on my plate following the divorce.
Everyone told me not to buy with Brexit looming and the associated crash to be expected. But I knew I will be staying in the area long-term and so I did buy - am so glad I did. The threat of a housing crash is always there, due to one situation or another.

We had also moved lots of times with the DDs, this gave us all long-term stability. You just need to courage to go for it.

Well if sale goes through he will have a large lump sum and also a pension. He is giving up his high earning profession to become a new age guru but that is another story!

House price fluctuations don't matter if you plan to stay for decades. It only matters if you plan to sell within a few short years. Just buy a house that you can live in for the rest of your life. We did and it gives so much more peace. We don't ever have to sell up or move, so no thinking about it

Gosh a PT NHS job that pays over £100k and can be done from home. Those are few are far between. Count yourself as being very luck and extremely unique.

My view would be that a long term crash in the housing market in the SE and London would mean the country‘s economy is fucked beyond reason and we are all doomed.

I think that if house prices really do go down for a while then that is absolutely the best time to buy since you don't have to also sell a property at a lower price. Unless we have any more plagues, or a large asteroid hit in the next few years, house prices will soon return to their before "THE VIRUS" prices, and then will presumably follow their usual upward path - although maybe more slowly than before. Good luck