to ask what your partners were like when you were pregnant?

[broccoliduns]

Attentive?
Disinterested?
Did they do nice things for you?
Did they become abusive? (This was my experience)

I'm really curious to know how men tend to react to their partner being pregnant.

Obviously only answer if you're happy to. I find it quite traumatic writing about it but find it helps talking about it...

[Bourbonbiccy]

My hubby was just normal, very excited, but normal.
I don't like fuss, so I didn't want him running around after me, my pregnancy ,luckily, was great. So I was fine.

Anything I wanted he would have done, I don't like grand gestures, he is naturally affectionate and considerate, so just normal really.

[DoloresOnTheDottedLine]

Mine wasn’t brilliant but not abusive. He wasn’t very sympathetic to the challenges of pregnancy and also slid into a pattern of drinking quite heavily in a “it’s my last chance before the baby comes” kind of way. It unfortunately continued during the first couple of years of our DDs life but since lockdown happened and he was furloughed, he’s improving. He left me to put up the cot and pram myself and showed pretty minimal interest in the other practicalities. I was disappointed in him honestly and I have come to accept over the last few years that he’s not quite the person I thought he was. I’m very sorry that you suffered abuse at all but particularly whilst pregnant and I hope you know you are worth so much more than that.

[newtb]

Mine was initially thrilled to bits - not least because it meant that his bits worked.

A few weeks later he tried to force me to get an abortion as he was worried about money.

After the baby was born he tried to stop me breast-feeding.

Took far too long, bur when dd was 20 and fully independent, I left.

Divorce in progress (stopped by coronavirus as all the courts closed), and being France, things can't be done electronically.

[SixyearoldSicknote]

We moved house at 6 month pregnant so he was like a Tasmanian devil trying to get it decorated, top to bottom before DS1 arrived.
Came to scans but not to general midwife appointments.
Enjoyed feeling kicks now & again but not obsessively.
He wouldn’t have gone out to fetch me gherkins in the middle of the night but he did rub my feet when they were sore & puffy .

He never judged when I had half a small glass of wine at Christmas & a sip of champagne for my cousins 21st birthday toast .

We worked as a team. I never asked for ridiculous things, so he indulged me when I said would he make me xyz or he would happily clear up while I sat round on tired days.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time. It is not normal & not acceptable. Do you have any other support?

[roarfeckingroar]

I'm 22 weeks and DP is supportive, interested, caring without being OTT. He tries to get me to exercise less and just enjoy being pregnant. He's also really into researching and buying baby things. He also drove to get me a McFlurry yesterday.

All this should be standard with a loving partner.

[Dottiedot19]

Mine was a bit bewildered at first. I went from being very stoic to crying a lot which threw him. He was also a star towards the end of my pregnancy when SPD meant that I found movement difficult and would come home from work to drive me to the library so I could waddle around and get some books. That happened about three times a week for 6 weeks as DD decided she was rather comfy!

He wasn't great on 'bonding with the bump' and found the kicks and movements weird to see. He also got a bit carried away when nesting and practically rebuilt the house ( he is a builder!) Overall he was great and if i needed something I got it!

[firsttimemum30]

I left an abusive partner previously as I knew it would get 3ven worse if I became pregnant. My current partner was almost perfect, rubbing my fat fluid filled feet and legs, letting me rest lots, getting me whatever I fancied eating, cleaning the floors when it became too difficult. I'm sorry you had a bad experience x

[gonewiththerain]

Firmly in denial same as last time. Is very concerned if something might be wrong (did have a bit of a worry a few weeks ago) and then back to the land of denial. I have been banned from doing very heavy jobs and heavy lifting which is a good thing but I’m not best pleased about. He was excellent when I was in labour last time so it’s all fine.

[Jupiter15]

My DH is just his normal self and is quite self absorbed. He doesn’t give me time to rest or really make any allowances for me being pregnant. It does annoy me, especially reading about other people’s partners being lovely.

[Wewearpinkonwednesdays]

Well the first time pretty shit actually. He will go to the shops, or get me anything I want to eat, that's about as far as it goes. He is generally pretty lazy and doesn't do anything around the house really. I am very unexpectedly 6 weeks pregnant and I don't expect it will be much different this time. Had a big fight about it today and he pulled his finger out, but it won't last long.
He also keeps telling me I'm not even pregnant, because apparently it's funny because it winds me up.

[Thelnebriati]

Distant and self absorbed, and I split with him soon after the birth. It turned out he was a secret cross dresser and he couldn't cope with his fantasy being ruined by reality.
It makes me feel sad now because I don't have a single photo from when I was pregnant.

[Guineapigbridge]

Not that interested. Disappointingly not interested at all in the What to Expect When You're Expecting book. Not interested in the least in prams, but mildly interested in the carseat. Put up the cot.


It worked out well. He is by all accounts an AMAZING father to our three kids now; he's their primary carer.

[Thisiscrazy1000]

He used to get really fed up of me moaning about how much I hated being pregnant (it made me feel so crap) and also complained a lot about lack of sex and how much baby stuff I was buying. What a joy!

He did used to make sure I didn’t lift anything heavy, and would talk to the bump a lot and make sure I put my feet up and made me more cups of tea etc. That went some way towards offsetting the less positive aspects!

[Guineapigbridge]

He also never made allowances for me, never fussed over me, often forgot that I was pregnant. At 9 months pregnant he assumed (wrongly) that I'd be more than happy to walk 3 kilometres to a rugby game and watch it with him. Completely clueless!!!

[Confusedcorona]

Treated me exactly the same as if I wasn't pregnant. I got two foot massage, at my request.

A little hurtful reading how lovely most husbands are during pregnancy.

[ilovebagpuss]

I think I give off a don’t need mollycoddling aura as I never get any from my DH. However he was lovely in a generally supportive caring way when pregnant so feeding me if I was tired and fetching things I fancied. Helping sort the nursery and interested in getting the baby stuff.
Not overly fussy but there for me. He was very good during both births right by my side holding my hand talking to me and keeping me calm. Both babies I was away with the fairies being stitched up he was handed them and got them into their first outfits.
I’m sorry you did not have a good partner to show you love and care I hope you do in the future. Normal seems to be somewhere between your partner being adoring or just caring and helpful but it’s a time in your life when you should come first and be a little bit fussed over.

[DJTanner]

Mine was ok in my first pregnancy. Not amazing but ok. In my second pregnancy, and after the birth, he was horrible. I was very unwell during the pregnancy and he wouldn't do anything to help in the house or with DC and was constantly in a bad mood with me for being ill. When I'd had the baby he was still moody and wouldn't do anything to help. He wouldn't even get me a glass of water when I was breastfeeding and for angry with me again when I became very unwell with an infection after two weeks. He only became nicer towards me again once I was feeling back to 'normal' a couple of months after the birth and when I was doing everything in the house and for the DCs

It has long term changed the way I feel about him and has definitely damaged our relationship.

[Dylaninthemovies1]

DH probably would have wrapped me up in cotton wool if he could have. I finally became pregnant after 8 years of us trying. DH did everything around the house and bloody spoiled me. In fairness I was very ill during pregnancy but he never once moaned about it. But, he absolutely refused to have sex with me from the moment I found out i was pregnant until 6 weeks after baby arrived

[Leeeeeyaaa]

Mine was great, but he did struggle to understand why I was so moody. He struggled to understand what it was like to be sick for 6 months straight. But he was supportive, it was me that was unreasonable most of the time