To go for a run without being leered at

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This is a rant.

I run. I have for a long time. I dont think its important to say what I wear to run in.
It's not every time I run, and usually I'm fairly oblivious and plugged into music or a podcast. But when it happens - usually white men in big cars of a few guys in a van hanging out of the car window in traffic smirking or leering fills me with so much fucking range.
Usually I'll just dead eye them and/or give them 2 fingers. Sometimes I tell them to fuck off and carry on my way but it ruins the next 20 mins of my run thinking about what pricks they are.

Why cant they just fuck off?
Do I not have a right to take up some space on a pavement without twatty men making it obvious they are perving? It's so rude.
This is why so many women are afraid to exercise.

I'm saddened by women with large boobs (I also have them, cartoon-esque, so I've been told) feeling it necessary to attribute the male lechery to these. It's almost as if we're blaming ourselves for the way we look when it really shouldn't matter what size or shape we are - we're not there for men to gawp at or comment on.

It's really sickening.

Agreed. I think it's very ingrained in women to think letching is some kind of comment on how they look.
It's not its 100% about men exerting and expression their power and expecting us to accept it or feel somehow privileged for the attention.

Absolutely dominance. I used to box competitively and trained with male boxers - all lovely except one who couldn’t deal with me even being there.

One night I was walking home after training and he kerb crawled me the whole way trying to get me to get into his van. It was bloody scary and I quit the boxing sessions. It makes me so angry that men get away with this.

YANBU
“But when it happens - usually white men in big cars”
How’s the colour of skin relevant?

Why did you feel the need to mention that it's "white men" doing it?

Why didn't you simply say "men"....

Hmmm

That’s not the demographic that are the worst offenders round here.
To be fair it seems pretty universal but there are groups that are worse than others

I confronted a wolf Whistling window cleaner years ago.I was walking past and he was up his ladder.I turned back round and said what do you possibly think is going to happen from a wolf whistle,what is the point?! He was gob smacked.

I literally just got back from a run about an hour ago, I can confirm my scraped back hair, spotty face and shit old leggings is apparently a turn on to every middle aged bloke in a 20 mile radius.

Fuckers.

Just can’t do anything without their revolting intrusions, sick to death of jogging and running at stupid times in secluded areas just to be left alone. It’s not safe for a start.

I'm saddened by women with large boobs (I also have them, cartoon-esque, so I've been told) feeling it necessary to attribute the male lechery to these. It's almost as if we're blaming ourselves for the way we look when it really shouldn't matter what size or shape we are - we're not there for men to gawp at or comment on.

Of course this is true. The only reason I blame the tits, is that the tits tend to be whats commented on. But I guess, were the tits smaller or not there..they would comment on something else. Its just vile really. I would never feel the need to comment on the appearance of a male jogger. I guess the same as I have never told a random man (or another woman) to 'smile love, it might never happen' and such

Bbang, that's horrible. I think a 'name and shame' thing is the way to go (if it's safe for a woman to take a photo of the car).

I'm starting to think that IF (and it's a big if), I ever took up running or walking, I'd get a body camera and start posting the photos of these pathetic arseholes for everyone to see - and sending the photos to the police too.

We should be able to walk/run/be where we like, without comment or leering at. Why is it that some men feel that we shouldn't be left alone? Utterly pathetic.

... I bet that these leering men would be the first to punch somebody for doing the same to the women and girls in their family.

Obviously no brain cells to facilitate the connection.

I'd quite like to be leered at from time to time!

Hate this too.. I'm a runner also, on the more curvy side and makes seem to think I'm fair game. Makes my blood boil!
Although, the other day in the car with my OH and at the traffic lights a cyclist was just gawping at me for about 2 minutes, I looked over and he was just staring! He really wound me up - my OH couldn't get over how upset it made me? I do not want to feel self conscious, when sat in the passenger seat of my car.
Arseholes

BatShite, yes you're right. Big breasts do seem to be a target for men to comment on and lech over.

It's so disgusting. I was hooted at and followed walking to and from school, in uniform, from the age of 11 when I started secondary school - and it never stopped. I had a breast reduction at just turned 15 because I'd had enough. It wasn't just these creepy men, it was the attention at school - from boys (bad enough) but the nastiness was actually from the girls. I got called a 'slut' every single day.

Sorry, off the topic there. But it never changed. I wish I'd been as feisty then as I am now. There I go again... making it my problem to fix when it really wasn't and isn't.

I worry for girls/women so much. We have so much 'extra' crap to put up with. :(

GreyGardens are you incapable of reading the tone of a thread? Do you think it's a 'badge of attractiveness' or something? . I really hope you don't have daughters.

The fact that you haven't been leered at isn't because you're not 'worthy' of being leched at by male morons any more than those of us who are or have been accosted/verbally harassed, 'deserved it' because women/public property/big or small boobs.

I am large of boob and used to only run in the dark because of comments from lechy blokes, but even then they didn’t stop, so I stopped. Am now into cycling. Down country lanes mostly where there aren’t many parole.

PinkyPie, I'm annoyed on your behalf. What a disgusting excuse for a human being. Perfect example of your partner's 'male privilege' too.

It gives me the absolute rage as well. I hadn't had any of this rubbish for years, until Sunday afternoon just gone. Ran past a group of 13 year olds and had them jeering, laughing running after me and calling me a lazy bitch and worse. I'm a 35 year old woman and it really shouldn't bother me but I couldn't get it out of my head for the rest of the day.

WHY? Just why?

I did feel like I was a piss take because with my large boobs I looked un-athletic.

There are a lot of shitty blokes out there

DISCLAIMER - I don’t run.

Can I suggest that if a man/men in a van bother to beep, whistle etc you should glance over, do a massive double take and yell “YOUR VAN’S ON FIRE!” And then run off while they panic and check their van.

Inspired by self defence classes in MH teens when we were told to shout “fire” instead of “help” because it grabs attention more.

Or, stop, look at whoever, let recognition cross your face and say, “hey I know you! I know your MUM!”

Or if they’re on foot, look at their crotch and shout “have you WET yourself?!”

Just a few ideas to deflect from the leering really.

A few people have asked why I mention its "white guys". This is because in 100% of my expierence of this happening to me it is.

It was a descriptive statment. Other people might have different experiences. This has been mine

If I was reporting one of my expierences to the police I would say "3 white men, shaved heads maybe in their 30s in a white van.."

Hi OP, no of course YANBU. If you can, are you able to take a picture of the registration plates of the vehicles that do this?! Might be worth reporting it to 101 whenever this happens, even if just to keep a log.

This happens to me all the time, literally several times on a daily basis. It’s actually a joke now, I’ve become desensitised to car horns as I’m so used to it. It would even be strange to have a day without someone beeping at me or shouting something.

Personally think the best way is to just completely ignore them. I don’t think men actually think whichever woman they see is THAT attractive, they just do it to get attention or provoke a reaction from you. They do it to anyone, there’s nothing special about you - it’s them just being pervs. I’ve even had “tits” shouted at me, baring in mind I’m a flat chested A cup, they just say these things to provoke a reaction from you. Ignoring them completely makes them feel irrelevant.

This is such a barrier for women running, especially young women.
I hate it.

Tbh, I've been running for many years - including in just shorts and a sports bra when I was training for a marathon in 2018 - and haven't had too much of this.

I've got a body shape that doesn't typically attract male attention ie pretty straight up and down, always wear coloured glasses to avoid eye contact, which I do thinks makes a difference.

I'm also bloody fast, so men don't feel the need to 'cheer me on' with encouraging comments.

Having said that, the best thing I did for myself with running was to be able to really, really believe that these arseholes' attitudes towards women are not my problem. Really, they're nothing to do with me. I don't look at them, acknowledge them or give them the time of day.

It also feels important for the younger women coming behind us oldies to see women out doing something just for themselves.

Also, I've really noticed that place makes a huge difference. In a park with others running, no-one bats an eyelid.

Running on roads between parks, not so much.