To go for a run without being leered at

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This is a rant.

I run. I have for a long time. I dont think its important to say what I wear to run in.
It's not every time I run, and usually I'm fairly oblivious and plugged into music or a podcast. But when it happens - usually white men in big cars of a few guys in a van hanging out of the car window in traffic smirking or leering fills me with so much fucking range.
Usually I'll just dead eye them and/or give them 2 fingers. Sometimes I tell them to fuck off and carry on my way but it ruins the next 20 mins of my run thinking about what pricks they are.

Why cant they just fuck off?
Do I not have a right to take up some space on a pavement without twatty men making it obvious they are perving? It's so rude.
This is why so many women are afraid to exercise.

Yanbu, can’t understand what goes through some men’s minds that they think this is an appropriate way to react! Are they that deluded that they think this is the kind of attention women want!

Although I am a little jealous that u obviously look good when u are running (when I run I am bright red and sweating profusely even after 50 yards......even if I seen my husband whilst out he would pretend not to know be as I look so bad 🤣)

It’s so bizarre what are they hoping to achieve? I got shouted at on my way to do the school run this afternoon, I had no make up on and haven’t washed my hair since Saturday. Lockdown must be making them lower their standards considerably.

I can’t stand it, but it’s something I’ve had to put up with since a teenager in a school uniform. Disgusting.

I was bending over picking up my dogs poo the other day when I got the 'beep'! Was tempted to fling it at them 😂

YANBU. In a decade of running, I have very rarely experienced this luckily but I think it depends where you live. I always say that my test for true equality would be when women can go for runs at night/in remote places in the same way men can.

It's one reason why parkruns are so important because they give people and especially women a safe space to run without being leered at or fat-shamed.

But don't let the jerks stop you, as SummerinSun said.

Couldn't agree more. I signed up to a run with some colleagues and started my training, was really enjoying running but three runs in a row I got abuse including one bloke in a van offering to hold my tits for me as I ran so they wouldn't bounce. So I withdrew from the event and stopped running. I just didn't feel comfortable or safe any more.

I'm very overweight indeed and have had "fat slag/cow/bitch" shouted out the car / van window regularly. I'm so self-conscious about it now I'm up and out running at 5am these days to minimise the risk.

I walk for miles in my area and in the summer I I darent wear a vest top or anything too tight in case I get comments

Oh... I bloody hate reading these experiences. I know of them, have experienced them myself and it makes me cry with anger.

We shouldn't have to put up with this, shouldn't have to have coping strategies in place... because it should never, ever happen.

YY to the perving at schoolgirls in uniform too. No bloody excuse.

There needs to be widespread education of boys and men - with massive fines and serious punitive consequences at this harassment of women. it definitely needs to stop.

For all of you

DH and I are both runners & have been for 10+ years. We never go together as he's much faster than me!!

I've just asked him if he's ever been shouted at...never.

Me? Many times. That's partly why I wear headphones. It's horrible being shouted at (even if it's supposedly 'complimentary' as in 'Nice tits' rather than 'Fat bitch.')

It makes me sad that DH runs on the beautiful trails and canals near us which I absolutely won't do as I don't feel safe.

I get this, always a van or a Merc/Range Rover type vehicle with middle aged men in it. I just ignore and pretend I haven’t heard as have headphones in. It makes them look even more pathetic and they don’t get anything back. Quite often cars slow down to gawp as they pass me as well .

I enjoy exercising. Not going to let a few childish pricks stop me.

I did have a bunch of twats in a van stopped at traffic lights who told me I should run faster so I told them to stop being lazy bastards and try it for themselves. They shut up immediately.

It's never happened to me and I have run all my life (I am a competitive club runner) and have run all over the world (not competitively...I just take my kit when I go on holiday or away on business).

I don't have any large breasts.
I wear tight clothes - from leggings to tiny shorts.
I have long, mad hair.

What is it that makes people think they can make unsolicited comments at anyone?

It’s not even always that they fancy you. In my 20s I was mousy, square, squat and shuffled along in my dull mac and sensible shoes anonymous as you could imagine, but because of my age, I think the wolf whistlers just felt I was fair game. I think there is an element of dominance over people they perceive as weaker ( was like that for me).

It isn't about fancying you at all - it's a pure power/dominance display.

I also think it's a result of not exercising themselves. It's jealousy at seeing a woman be good at something they are not.

Report them to the police for what? Smirking?

Behaviour likely to cause alarm or distress is a criminal offence. Recording this behaviour implies the threat of reporting it - whether or not the one doing the recording intends to do this - and this alone might be enough to be offputting to some of these creeps. I also have found that flipping a phone out and holding it as it I'm taking a picture soon makes these cowardly arseholes beat a hasty retreat.

It's the impunity that's the problem.

I'm wondering how these people would feel if footage of their behaviour were to be shown to their female relatives, and whether this would be enough to curb their behaviour? Surely their wives and daughters would be far from proud.

It isn't about fancying you at all - it's a pure power/dominance display.

Agree with this. I was followed by some guys in a car recently. They were driving towards me, then starting beeping and shouting. Once they were past, they did a U-turn, and came back the other way. They then pulled in ahead of me, but I crossed the road and sprinted home. Really freaked me out!

I definitely dont have big boobs either. And I dont look good running - red face/sweat - I've been told I always look pretty angry when exercising but mostly I'm concentrating really hard on not falling over.
So many men are dicks. I always leave an encounter feeling angry and sorry for their partners.

It's never happened to me in approx 20 years of running. I may have had the odd beep when cycling in a lowish vest top in the summer but I barely register stuff like that, also when I run I wrap my boobs to the nth degree so absolutely no jiggling! Maybe that's a reason why I never get leers etc

YANBU. This was behind my decision to stop running outside actually. Got too much. I seemed to get constant comments, seemingly as my tits are big Which of course means my body is up for discussion among any who wish to

I have been told I look pretty serious when I run - that I'm focussing.

Mind you, at a work do a while ago the receptionist said (after she'd had a few drinks) "you're quite nice actually".

Maybe I just look scary.

Get t shirts printed up front and back
YOU ARE BEING FILMED. I have had the nerve to march up to the parked vans and cars and give then what for, ask how they would like their wife or daughter being hassled. Has worked on occasion

@SharkasticRhymes - you rock. That response was inspired, as it's amazing how quickly a cowardly bully will stop their behaviour when is confronted head on. You're supposed to be an easily intimated, cowed, weak little woman, thus allowing these pathetic males to assert their masculine dominance.

As a 21-year old I was flashed at - in broad daylight but a fairly lonely space at the back of houses rather than in the main street. I pointed, roared with laughter and said 'if I were you I'd be hiding that pathetic tiddler rather than getting it out, cause it's nothing to be proud of!'

Fortunately for me this was enough to send him on his way without a word. But 21-year-old me was a reckless gobshite. In maturity, looking back at this scenario I recognise the danger I was putting myself in by reacting as I did.

It's a constant exercise in benefits versus risks. There are certain men if faced with a reaction like that from a woman would be capable of harming or killing them. And men know it. It's repulsive the way they use their masculine privilege in this intimidatory way.

Time to make them answerable.

I don't think I ever even walk to the shops in a big coat without men leering out of car windows. I think if you look even remotely feminine you're going to get attention. I'd never even think of running outside because I know it would be ten times worse and I don't like feeling self conscious. The male gaze has always irked me.

Bloody hell l must be a right minger cos this has literally never happened to me. Although l did get a fat old bloke tell me in the supermarket once that l was too fat to run - he had seen me run past his house a few times. Fucking cock. Haven't seen him since but when l do l shall ask him what he does to keep fit...followed by not much by the looks of it. Biding my time with that one.

This thread is so depressing, women should be able to run without being harassed. Having said that, I run a lot, at the moment wearing shorts and vest, and have never had this happen to me. I'm feeling very thankful for that right now.