About PIL food hygiene?

[Billyjoearmstrong]

Another argument with Dh regarding his parents and food hygiene.

They basically don’t have any.

MIL will cook huge pots of food to last five days - chicken stews, pasta sauce with meat etc and leave them on the hob all that time, heating them up everyday to take a portion and then leaving it to cool down. Or she’ll cook a big lasagne and the same thing - leave it in the oven for days until it’s finished. I can’t drink a cup of tea at their house - I always thought it tasted a bit odd when I first me them and then I realised that they don’t keep milk in the fridge, they keep it on the worktop.

When they come to stay she will always bring something she’s cooked - really nice of her but it will be some sort of meat which she will have cooked days before and it will have just been left on the side in her kitchen.

FIL just dropped a roast chicken at the door merrily saying they cooked two on Friday and didn’t need it. This chicken won’t have seen a fridge - it will have been sat on the work top or in the oven since cooked.

Dh has had a go at me because I won’t let the kids have any for dinner this evening. I don’t want them getting ill.

We moved across the country to where they live just before lockdown so it’s not been a problem yet, but when they are allowed the kids over I know they will feed them and I’m so uncomfortable with the lack of food hygiene they have - it was easier being so far away as they would visit every 6 weeks and I just wouldn’t give the children any of the cooked food they brought with them.

Dh won’t listen as it’s been like that his whole life, his argument is that he’s never had a stomach bug from it so it’s
Fine.

It just makes me feel so ill thinking about it. The arguments me and Dh have about me putting food in the fridge is unreal, he doesn’t see the harm.

[Notcontent]

That sounds really vile and like pp, I feel a bit sick just reading that.

It’s a difficult situation because I do think that for some people it’s difficult to let go of the things they grew up with as normal, even when those things are not normal...

[MulticolourMophead]

If they do get ill, I'll bet they never connect it to the food.

Their food hygiene is foul. Perhaps you can look up and show food hygiene standards to your DH? No place selling food (or even hospitals, etc) would treat food like this. They'd be shut down.

If they haven't been ill as a result of the food, the the only reason is luck. They got lucky.

[Aquamarine1029]

When I was putting it in the fridge, she said “oh don’t bother with that, leave it in the oven for tomorrow”. Fucking fish and prawns!

I hope your response was "No, MIL, I do not keep food in the oven. It is going in the fridge."

[Billyjoearmstrong]

@Iseeareddoor yes! When that story was in the paper I showed Dh, who brushed it off immediately. Not even that got him thinking.

[Glitteryone]

Good grief this is horrific.

YANBU at all!!!!!

[022828MAN]

Jesus! Your DH needs to educate himself and then his parents. I'd put my foot down and say DC won't be visiting again if they can't guarantee their food is edible.

[Megatron]

Seldom am I speechless about a thread on MN but this one takes the biscuit.

Why won't they use the fridge? I don't understand!

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

Urgh fucking hell

[Billyjoearmstrong]

@Aquamarine1029 I just carried on putting it in the fridge, I probably did make a comment about it being fish though.

She’s really nice and so helpful so it’s bloody difficult.

[DKanin]

That's revolting. My exPIL were like that. Used to drop things on the floor and kick them up and carry on using them, there were a few really questionable food safety and hygiene things they used to do. Made me feel very uncomfortable staying there. I left a pot of food I'd made out by accident the other evening and ate it the next day anyway and I still felt a bit iffy about doing that! I wouldn't be prepared to eat there. I think I remember making up loads of strange allergies and told exMIL I couldn't possibly expect her to cater for my awkward diet so I'd bring my own food to their house. ExFIL made his usual moronic and scathing remarks. They didn't shower very often and had a mat around their loo but I won't start on a rant about them or I'll be here all day!

[Allflightscancelled]

I know how you feel OP, but I think some people just live like this.

DH's family are similar. We visited some of them in Ireland a few years ago and when we arrived an aunt had made masses and masses of burgers, sausages, chicken wings etc. Far more than we could eat. We were there to visit lots and lots of family all round the area, over several days. This aunt came with us, bringing the tray of food with here every day. It slowly got eaten (not by me) over several days and no-one was ill.

On another occasion we went on a family holiday and an aunt (a different one) provided a huge side of salmon, which DH's mum kept transporting around with us. Eventually one of my sisters in law said she thought it was unwise to eat it and suggested I gave it to my dog. I declined ad I didn't want him to be ill either.DH's mum threw a strop, said I couldn't give it to my dog even if I wanted to (I still didn't), and ate it herself. She was fine

[Billyjoearmstrong]

The problem is Dh. He won’t ever hear a word against them. They are perfect in his eyes.

But I am worried about Dd being fed when she starts going there and I don’t know how to broach it with them without sounding rude or fussy. And it will end in an argument with Dh.

[SistemaAddict]

Minging

[Allflightscancelled]

DH's MUM threw a strop. sorry.

[viques]

You can buy petri dishes with agar online. I would buy them as a science experiment for your children.

"Let's take a sample from the newly cleaned toilet, and another one from the bottom of my shoe, and oh look, here's the chicken Granny bought over , let's take a swab from here too. Now, who would like to predict which one will grow more deadly microbes"

[FrogFairy]

I am pretty relaxed about eating food just past the date, but this is rank.

I would probably not eat something that had sat in the fridge for five days let alone on the hob or in the oven.

[BertiesLanding]

They probably haven't been ill in the same way that if you live in India long enough, the water doesn't make you sick anymore: your gut adapts.

I'd be taking a strong stance on it, consequences be damned.

[EngagedAgain]

If you must use the chicken I would cut it up and use in a curry or something. Thoroughly heated for long enough should be ok, but I would be P off if it's a regular thing. Have you got cats or dogs you could give it to?!!

[EatDessertFirst]

No way would I be eating there, allowing my children to eat there and my children would NEVER stay there without me there too to intervene in regards to food. I couldn't care less how offended they got.

Their food hygiene is beyond disgusting and your husband needs educating. God knows how they aren't dead but there is no way they would ever feed my children.

[Davespecifico]

That’s disgusting. I guess they’re not ill from it because they’ve developed resistance.
There is more Lycopene (a good thing) in cooked tomato btw. But I don’t think constant reheating makes it better for you!
Don’t know what to suggest unless you’re planning on splitting. It’s a tough one.

[TheWickerWoman]

You are going to have to bring it up with them if he won’t, for the sake of your DD.

What’s their house and hygiene like generally?

[LightTripper]

I thought we were a bit borderline by sometimes reheating bits of the kids' tea for our supper without putting it in the fridge inbetween. We're also not crazy about use by dates: we use our judgement as long as something has been stored well and tastes/smells fine, is going to get thoroughly cooked.

I think we have taken a risk (as adults) with things we've accidentally left out overnight (probably mainly veggies though, or something we could get really hot for long). But even then I wouldn't feed it to kids or guests and if it's more than an overnight in winter or more than a couple of hours during warm weather then personally no, I wouldn't eat it.

Do they not have a fridge or freezer? Why are they so adverse to using it if they do?

[Senoritaono]

Also have issues with food hygiene and in laws. It's caused huge issues between me and DH and he also says he never came to any harm. MIL really revolting with her kitchen habits - raw meat everywhere and no handwashing etc. That's just one example. Another would be emptying a bin with bin juice on hands and then going back to make a cake without washing hands. Not sure what the answer is when someone refuses to accept that certain things are unacceptable in the kitchen. I get told I'm being OTT. It's awful! I think people with dirty habits are very resistant to change and just won't do it.

[Iseeareddoor]

I really think your DH needs to go on a food hygiene course.

[Billyjoearmstrong]

@EngagedAgain oh Dh will eat the chicken today and tomorrow (and probably the day after too). And he will be fine and smug about it.

I hope he gets the shits from it but if he did, he’d just blame it on something else.

(I do have a cat but he’s 18 and to be honest, I’d rather he didn’t get ill right now so I wouldn’t feed it to him either!)