Should I get a dog?

[zscaler]

My husband and I are both massive dog lovers, and have always wanted a dog. It hasn’t been possible up until now, because we both work full time out of the home and the dog would be left alone too long.

One of the few good things to come out of coronavirus is that both of the organisations we work for have confirmed that there won’t ever be a return to the ‘normal’ working pattern of everyone in the office full time, and that people will now actively be encouraged to WFH some or all of the time.

I am also pregnant, and my work have confirmed that I won’t need to be back in the office before I go on maternity leave (which I think will be for 10 months or so, and would start in December).

So it feels like a reasonable time - I am about to be at home for the next 18 months or so, and thereafter my husband and I can WFH on alternate days so there can always be someone at home. We also live very close to my PILs, who don’t have a dog themselves but who really love them and would happily help (we have discussed this with them).

The obvious con is that we are expecting a baby (our first) in December - is it totally mad to introduce a dog to the house a few months before a baby?

@Sceptimum what a sweet pup!

You cannot over-estimate the hard work involved in bringing a dog into your life. It's 100% worth it for what you get back, but nothing changes the work involved. It isn't something I would do at a time when there is a huge change on the horizon such as a new baby.

Do really think about the tie of a dog as well. It's good that you have your PIL as potential dog-sitters, but think about what you'd do if there was an all day family occasion, such as a wedding - or something you wanted to do while your PIL were unavailable, because unlike children, you cannot always take your dog along with you. Everything is like that is, of course, manageable, but it can involve loss of spontaneity or compromise. 'We have to get back for the dog' is a phrase you would get used to using.

I would try to spend some time with dogs as pps have suggested in the run up to your baby arriving, and consider it as an option once the upheaval of your new baby has settled down and you have a clearer feeling of what your life will feel like post-baby and where a dog would fit in.

@zscaler yes that’s definitely something to consider with greyhounds! To be honest it depends on the greyhound. They’ve been trained to chase a small fluffy robotic rabbit, so some will have a very strong chase instinct and may never be able to go off the lead. Others will have a much less strong instinct/are very trainable and can be built up to going off the lead (if you have an enclosed park near you then that would help!) Some greyhounds are retired early because they’re not great chasers.

The other factor is that greyhounds will have spent their lives in kennels and aren’t familiar with a home environment and haven’t received any training as pets - so for example won’t have recall. Again you can train them - but like all breeds, some are more trainable than others.

For this reason they need time to settle in to a home as many wouldn’t have been in a house before but that shouldn’t put you off. For example with our first greyhound, we showed him the garden - that was all he needed for toilet training, and for the first day or so he was a bit nervous but then settled down fine. I think you’d get this settling in period with most rescue dogs anyway!

I absolutely wouldn't get a dog right now. Having a baby means you need to focus there and it could quite possibly mar the experience of having a dog if you're exhausted and unable to enjoy the perks (and there are loads - we have two and I love them madly).

Wait til you're settled into a routine with your new baby and then work out if it's the right time. DH has always had dogs and his elderly dog moved in with us when we bought our home, but I wouldn't have chosen to have any dog whilst the DC were tiny. We have two dogs now and the DC adore them and they're a beautiful part of our family, but it would have been exhausting with a newborn and a pup.

No way on this earth would i get a dog with a baby on the way. Dogs are dirty - doesn't matter how much you clean, when your crawling baby is going through muck that the dog just brought in on its feet, or licking a dogs chew toy, or licking one of their own toys that the dogs just had in its mouth. Or everything is covered in dog hair. Or the dog had an accident on the floor and the baby goes to investigate. Or the baby has an accident on the floor and the dog goes to investigate. Or the dog doesn't like babies and growls at it. The baby is too young to understand how to treat a dog and pulls it's tail whenever your back is turned. Even if the dog does like babies, you can never ever leave them alone so if you want to pop to the kitchen to make yourself a sandwich, either baby or dog has to come with you. Walking the dog every single day, rain or shine, even on the days when the baby didn't let you get a wink of sleep and you're utterly utterly exhausted and the though of going out makes you cry. Picking up dog shit before you can let the baby go and play in the garden. Want to go on a whole day outing to the zoo? Who will let the dog out? You've got to be back by x time to take the dog for its walk and feed it.
Don't get a dog. Enjoy your first born baby without all the complications that a new dog will bring. Yes people cope. But why make life harder for yourself for the sake of a dog you haven't even met yet?

I'd be very surprised if a rescue centre let you rehome a dog while pregnant. Many won't rehome with children under 5 (or older) unless the dog is a puppy, which for all the reasons people here have stated is not a great idea. Our last dog was a rescue and her issues didn't appear until we'd had her a few months, which apparently is quite normal (dog on best behaviour until it feels comfortable enough with new owners for issues to show). This time we got a puppy and my goodness they are hard work! I really would wait until your DC is older. Use the time to volunteer walking rescue dogs instead.

One thing I would suggest if you get a dog - have a few off limit areas (such as bedrooms), and get the dog used to being gated safely with their bed for the night in an area of the house that's locked off with a baby gate or similar. It's a lot easier with a toddler if the dog has an established area it can retreat to to rest and feel safe, and you can keep the child out of there. My experience was that the dog was great with babies, and loves them once they can play, but got a bit freaked out at the learning to walk stage when babies are lurching and unpredictable.

@Fudgewhizz that’s definitely a valid consideration - I’ve had a look at multiple rehoming websites (just out of curiosity) and dogs which are safe with children under the age of 10 are like hen‘s teeth. It would be totally immoral to take on a dog and then have to return it because it wasn’t compatible with a baby, so I might be excluded automatically because of being pregnant. I trust the decisions of rescue organisations in that respect - if they don’t think it’s sensible to rehome a dog with a pregnant person, they know best!

@Sceptimum that’s really good advice, thank you!

You are being really sensible OP, to listen to people advice & experiences, it’s not easy when it isn’t what you want to hear.

Put it this way when your baby has kept you up half the night, and it’s raining, the very last thing you want to do is take DDog out for walkies.

Good luck.

No, not when you're pregnant. Rescue dogs can take a good 8-12 months to settle in properly even without a pregnancy to contend with - adopting a dog now isn't fair on them.

You'll get them settled and then a newborn will come along and everything will be disrupted again - and believe me, the last thing you'll want to do when you've had three hours sleep with a newborn is take the dog out for an hour in the pissing rain

Yes, that does sound somewhat unwelcome...!

It sounds like the general consensus is to wait until the baby is here and then see if the desire is still there. I’ve waited over 30 years for a dog, so a few more months certainly won’t hurt.

I voted yabu because I think a puppy and a baby would be hellish at the same time!
I have a 3.5 year old and an adult greyhound which isn't too bad, but can I just say not all greyhounds are the same so you would need to be sure of what you are getting.
Mine definitely doesn't sleep 23 hours a day! When we first got him he was demanding lots of walks and wanted to walk for miles, now he is a bit older 20 mins a few times a day is fine. However, he requires a lot of love and attention and likes to be in the same room as us.
Another thing is our greyhound eats us out of house and home (still has a great figure!) and has cost a bit on vet bills/pet insurance.
Not that I'm trying to put you off because I think greyhounds are amazing pets but I thought I was getting a lazy dog and that wasn't really the case

Get the dog!

It won’t be a few months though. You can’t get a puppy with a newborn or toddler. And a rescue wouldn’t consider you.