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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I get a dog?

65 replies

zscaler · 08/06/2020 13:33

My husband and I are both massive dog lovers, and have always wanted a dog. It hasn’t been possible up until now, because we both work full time out of the home and the dog would be left alone too long.

One of the few good things to come out of coronavirus is that both of the organisations we work for have confirmed that there won’t ever be a return to the ‘normal’ working pattern of everyone in the office full time, and that people will now actively be encouraged to WFH some or all of the time.

I am also pregnant, and my work have confirmed that I won’t need to be back in the office before I go on maternity leave (which I think will be for 10 months or so, and would start in December).

So it feels like a reasonable time - I am about to be at home for the next 18 months or so, and thereafter my husband and I can WFH on alternate days so there can always be someone at home. We also live very close to my PILs, who don’t have a dog themselves but who really love them and would happily help (we have discussed this with them).

The obvious con is that we are expecting a baby (our first) in December - is it totally mad to introduce a dog to the house a few months before a baby?

OP posts:
raspberryk · 08/06/2020 16:40

I wouldn't get a first dog and a first baby at practically the same time.

dontdisturbmenow · 08/06/2020 16:40

I definitely wouldn't have wanted a puppy with a newborn especially born in December. It's double the responsibility and double the stress.

Windyatthebeach · 08/06/2020 16:41

Ime if you love(d) your current beautiful wallpaper and wood effect flooring then don't get a dpuppy...
Angry

heartsonacake · 08/06/2020 16:42

YABU. If you have to ask the question, you should not be getting a dog. You’re not ready.

OhDearMe2019 · 08/06/2020 17:01

I'd say go for it - sounds a perfect time and your maternity leave is not until December. You'd have a chance to get the dog trained up, the dog and baby can grow up together and you'll have the help of the PILs. If not is not the time for a dog, when would be?

mrsspooky · 08/06/2020 17:04

Definitely not with a baby on the way.

zscaler · 08/06/2020 17:11

Thank you everyone!

I should definitely have specified that we probably wouldn’t get a puppy. I don’t believe in buying dogs, only rescuing, and there are far fewer puppies available for rescue than older dogs. I have looked into rehoming former / failed guide dogs as well, as I think that could be a good option.

I’ve had lots of experience with dogs. I’ve never owned one while living on my own but had many dogs growing up, including one who I trained completely and was entirely responsible for from her puppyhood to the end of her life.

That said, lots of people are very sensibly pointing out how much work a new baby and a dog will be together and I know how easy it could be for me to underestimate that, since I haven’t had a baby before!

Lots to think about, so thank you everyone for your input!

OP posts:
zscaler · 08/06/2020 17:12

If not is not the time for a dog, when would be?

This is very compelling to me. It’s hard to imagine j will ever have the same stretch of time to focus solely on a dog as I do at the moment, which makes it so tempting!

OP posts:
Mnthrowaway20202 · 08/06/2020 18:39

Surely you’re aware that rescue dogs can have their own issues - yours could actually be more intensive than puppies, especially if the dog has faced trauma in the past. What if you end up with a rescue dog that isn’t compatible with children? You wouldn’t be aware until at least December, where the dog’s life will completely change with a newborn and you won’t be able to give the dog your undivided attention anymore.

Personally think you should wait until getting a dog, especially if you’re serious about adopting a rescue dog.

Roselilly36 · 08/06/2020 18:50

Our dog was 7years old before we started having our babies. I still feel guilty for that lack of attention he received from us once they arrived, he was cared for fed, watered & exercised till he was PTS at 13, but obviously did not the level of attention he had from us before, because parenthood is hard work and overwhelming at times, bad time to consider getting a puppy tbh. Think very carefully before you make a decision.

pilates · 08/06/2020 18:54

If you weren’t pregnant it would have been an ideal time.

Windyatthebeach · 08/06/2020 19:00

We got 2 dpuppies in Nov +Dec 2013. Dd arrived Sept 2014. They are proper best friends now!
No regrets.

Sceptimum · 08/06/2020 19:11

I got an adult dog when I was 2 months pregnant. Best idea I ever had. He was wonderful company and got me over the house for walks on days when otherwise I would have just been moping. He has no experience with small kids but has been fabulous with my two. if you're thinking about this I'd consider getting an adult rescue as opposed to a puppy, as you"d be getting a dog with the temperament you know. I love puppies but the chewing and mess is in a nightmare to pick up after and you won't be able to bend once you hit about 8 months! and a lot of dogs go through dick head teenager years when they are two or three.
You could have a look at fostering a dog for a rescue? That way you would get a trial run of owning a dog, but not be committed for 10 to 15 years.

Swiftier · 08/06/2020 19:32

If you’re keen on rescue, have you thought about a retired greyhound? You could get a youngish one (day 4/5 years old) - many of them are very calm, require only a couple of short walks, spend 23 hours a day sleeping.... and they’re often very good with kids - as they’re so calm. You’d need a decent sized garden with secure fencing but honestly they’re a great breed. And wouldn’t cause as much work as a busy, active dog that would need lots of exercise/attention.

Sceptimum · 08/06/2020 19:33

Sorry, just saw you were considering an adult rescue! Go for it. Mine's my best-behaved child most days.

Should I get a dog?
Swiftier · 08/06/2020 19:34

Also a lot of greyhound rescue centres will allow you to volunteer to walk the dogs etc which could help to get to know one/get to know the breed. Probably not a possibility right now but maybe in the next few weeks.

Opoly54 · 08/06/2020 19:55

I’ve had children, I’ve had a puppy and I’ve had rescue dogs. My advice is not to do it. Wait until your DC is at least 5.

SimonJT · 08/06/2020 19:58

I picked up my puppy on Thursday, as expected I haven’t been sleeping as I need to take him out in the toilet to toilet him. Do you really want to be woken up by a baby and a dog in the night?

If you get a puppy he/she will be a teenager when your baby arrives.

I know they’re super cute, Link is the cutest, but I’m well aware that the first 6-12 months won’t necesserily be enjoyable at times.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 08/06/2020 19:59

Only you know your personal circumstances and ability to fit a dog into your lives properly. Loads of people would have told us not to get a dog as we had three kids age 9 months, 3 and 5 at the time. A rescue wouldn't have touched us with a bargepole and on paper it should have been a stressful disaster. Our lovely dog just turned 2 and she's brilliant. We put an absolute ton of training time in with her and as a result she is a fantastic family dog. It was bloody hard work for a while but it was worth it.

Scruffbob · 08/06/2020 20:20

I'd say don't do it. For me the hardest thing about having a baby has been having a dog.

I have an older dog and even that has been hard. He's mostly well behaved and has a fantastic recall but just the logistics of them being in the same house is stressful. Floors are constantly dirty, toys get mouthed, baby gets woken from naps constantly etc

The way I felt about my dog totally changed when my baby was born and I didn't expect that at all. He went from being the apple of my eye to totally irrelevant and I had no control over how my feeling changed. He became just an annoying dog. I hated his hairs on my baby's things and he drove me mad constantly getting under my feet. I've gotten over that now but I still don't massively enjoy having a dog, even if I love the one I've got. I honestly never expected to feel that way, I was a total dog lover before and now I can take or leave them.

Scruffbob · 08/06/2020 20:22

Before I sound like a terrible person, ddog is snoozing next to me right now on the sofa, farting on my leg.

MayDayHelp · 08/06/2020 20:27

I got ddog when I was 6 months pg. well actually it was my ex who got him, but he quickly became my dog. It was fine, I managed a dog and a baby perfectly well. That said I did live in a caravan in an open field and I’d just leave the door open and the dog was pretty free range so there wasn’t so much pressure to go out for regular walks.

MayDayHelp · 08/06/2020 20:28

P.s. ddog lived a very happy 15 years and dd1 was devastated when he was PTS. As was dd2 who came along when the dog was 6. Again it was fine.

zscaler · 09/06/2020 06:43

@Swiftier I absolutely love greyhounds, they’re gorgeous dogs! Definitely something to consider. My garden is enclosed but pretty small, but I live two minutes away from a totally enclosed dog park / field which you can book out privately, so I could use that to give them a good run off the lead (I’ve read that greyhounds shouldn’t be walked off the lead in open spaces because they’re sight hounds - is that right?).

Would be great if I could walk a couple to get a feel for it, maybe that’s something I can do in the next couple of months.

OP posts:
zscaler · 09/06/2020 06:46

Thank you for all the useful perspectives, in favour and against! I still have lots to think about.

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