Friend just walked up and hugged my pregnant wife!

[Seapoint2002]

So my pregnant wife went to see her girlfriends on Friday in the garden of a friend with a new baby. One of the girlfriends (who we know has not been sticking to the rules throughout lock down and had guests around to the house) instantly gives my pregnant wife a hug and also picks up the new baby of the girlfriend whose house it was. AIBU to be pretty annoyed that she has done this when my wife and i have stuck to the rules and not hugged our parents for weeks?

Did you say anything

YANBU...is it possible it was just done without thinking (not that that makes it ok)

What did your wife say/do?

Is your wife upset by the hug?

What did your wife do? Did she say anything to her friend? You’re not wrong to be angry but it’s done now isn’t it.

I wasn't there but i think she just gave an uncomfortable half hug back.

Hopefully she said something? People hug out of habit. This is the chance you take when meeting up with people, people forget and act the way they use to.

YANBU

But your wife should have stepped back.

Surely she must've seen the hug coming unless it was done from behind?

@MustGetOutofBed

Is your wife upset by the hug?

I think she expects it of this particular friend and is too polite to cause a scene as the friend is the type that would give a mouthful back.

@Seapoint2002

I wasn't there but i think she just gave an uncomfortable half hug back.

Ahh so you're annoyed with them both for hugging each other? That's not what your OP says.

But still, YANBU.

How is "Sorry, 2 metres please", 'causing a scene'?

If your wife is too polite to look after her health and the health of the baby she's carrying, I don't think you can place all the blame on her friend.

If you knew she wasn't sticking to the rules throughout lockdown and had people over the her house, why would her hugging your wife surprise you?

YANBU, but, unfortunately, this is what will happen at gatherings/work places and can't be avoided unless you keep away.

Unfortunately at the moment different people have different tolerances. If your wife knew this particular friend was not sticking to rules and likely to come too close, tbh she should have addressed this in advance ("As I'm pregnant, I'm being extra careful, please make sure you all stay at least 2 metres away") or not gone.

Of course the onus should have been on the friend to behave correctly, but it's better to avoid an incident than try to recover afterwards.

YANBU but your wife should have just stepped back or made a joke. In reality though I'd think the risk is,pretty small as long as it was just one brief hug. Personally though I wouldn't be letting her near your baby after it's born.

You weren't there.
What does you wife think of the hug? Ask her. So she is 'too polite' to cause a scene. One of these 'does nothing types and whinges later to husband'. Tell her to get a backbone and say something next time.
Something as simple as 'no hugs, social distancing I'm pregnant and being careful' would do it.... surely she isn't 'too polite' to say that which isn't offensive at all.

YABU since its up to your wife to say or just avoid friend if she is too scared to mention this! Is your wife an adult? Seriously some people!

I mean, should you have been there at all?

the friend is the type that would give a mouthful back.

Maybe she needs to rethink this friendship. Foes she want someone like this, who reacts with aggression when others try to put up boundaries, around her baby?

"Mouthful back" is what's confusing me because it implies the OP's wife would've given her a mouthful to begin with, yet she's too scared to simply step back and say she's pregnant?

@WorraLiberty
That's not what that phrase means.

"I tried to explain and she gave a mouthful back" is a pretty standard phrase. It doesnt mean his wife would have been confrontational to begin with.

I'm pregnant and wouldn't go somewhere where someone is that I know has been actively breaking lock down.
I'm not currently meeting up with more than one other person actually as I'm still not comfortable with the risk. It might be worth you and your wife considering the same.

Sorry but your wife needs to put her health and her baby’s health before some warped British sense of ‘being polite’. She needs to have a serious think about parenthood and the many times her baby is going to need her to put two fingers up to social niceties in the interests of the child. I get why you’re annoyed at this person but you can’t control other peoples actions, just your reactions to them.

Oh maybe then Bobbie, but here if you give anything back to someone it's in retaliation.

OP, how could she possibly have picked up the baby without anyone saying anything?

How is it possible that a group of grown women, at least one of whom was the parent of the baby, are told scared to say "dont touch the baby and please stay in your seat away from everyone".
How can a group of adults be too scared to say anything?

Be as annoyed as you like but its their own fault for being too meek.

Your wife needs to take responsibility here. If someone approaches me at work without thinking I put hand up in front of me like a stop sign and say 'hang on, you're getting too close'. They say 'ooops yes, sorry' and take a step back. No one is upset or offended by it. We have to get used to enforcing our own boundaries in an assertive way.

One of the girlfriends (who we know has not been sticking to the rules throughout lock down and had guests around to the house) instantly gives my pregnant wife a hug and also picks up the new baby of the girlfriend whose house it was.

I wouldn’t have gone if there was someone I knew hadn’t been sticking to the rules and if I hadn’t known, I would have left upon arrival. Your DW needs to put herself and her baby first and not let people hug her. I know it feels rude but trust me, it feels much worse to have a dead baby and coronavirus is not understood enough yet to risk it.