Non-payment of fees

[stressedandpregnant]

NC for this as it's probably outing. DH is owed three months' worth of tuition fees for private instrumental lessons by parents of a child he taught. They have always been rubbish at paying on time and I'm cross with him that he didn't charge them in advance (which is standard practice anyway) but he was too nice to refuse to stop teaching the child until they'd paid. Child stopped lessons in January and now parents are refusing to pay.

Their reason is that child was learning a piece for his GCSE exam that turned out not to be suitable. DH sent the piece to the school teacher in Nov and got no feedback that it wasn't suitable until the end of Jan. Parents are now saying that it was DH's fault child had to learn new piece and it was stressful for them. It is definitely not the instrumental teacher's responsibility to check what's being submitted - GCSE stuff is entirely the school's responsibility (they're the ones who know what the exam board wants) and it's their mistake. In any case, child had four months of tuition (and three years previously) which has helped them to get better at the instrument.

If they don't pay we're going to have to get the union involved and then probably small claims court - we cannot afford to lose this money and I'm amazed they're trying to not pay it. They never complained once before - it's a bit like eating at a restaurant, leaving without paying, then four months later saying that they weren't happy with the meal! I'm due to have a baby any day now and the stress over this hanging over us is keeping me awake at night. I lost a family member last week too and we just really don't need this.

DH had to send an 'official' letter giving them one last chance to pay, and their response was the first time we'd heard that they weren't happy and were refusing - they've basically said 'if you want to send us to the lawyers then bring it on'. I'm considering writing to them separately in a less formal way to appeal to their better nature and ask them to please reconsider before it gets to that because it's just not fair to not pay him! WIBU to do this or should I just leave it to the union legal dept? I tend to always see the best in people and some of me thinks that they must be nice people really and surely nobody could be this unreasonable?!

Do you have a contract? If so then small claims court is the way to go

No, you should not do that. It’s not your business to get involved.

If the client had specifically asked him for a piece that was compatible with GCSE he should have chased up with the school.

It’s business. He needs to see this as a lesson learned and get serious about payments upfront.

I think it’s a good idea that he gets proper advice from the union. I know it’s hard not to feel angry, but you need to keep your heads cool.

Hi,
Does he have a contract between him and the family? Or thr Music school. If so, then you will be fine with small claims.
If not, you might have to take this as a hard lesson.
They are completely wrong not to pay, but they are probably just looking for ways to save a bit of money. I hope your DH has made it clear that he wont take them on again at a later date if they dont pay AND that he will let the other local teachers know they are non-payers.
Regarding the level of the piece - private teachers normaly know the level/requirements for GCSE. However, it's ridiculous a GCSE student needs all that time on one piece, so they dont aound like a very motovated student!

I wanted to add that I’m not being harsh. I’m a tutor, so I know how hard it can be dealing with clients and their expectations.

They hadn't specifically asked him to do just practice for the GCSE - they combined it with progress towards another external music exam (for which DH would of course have been totally responsible for picking the right piece). Child rarely practiced. Exam board requirements change all the time which is why DH wanted to check the piece with the class teacher (which in my experience as a class teacher is pretty rare - generally we never hear from the instrumental teacher and it's all done between school and child, or parent if child isn't being forthcoming). Parents have been pretty uninvolved and very unreliable (often forgetting lessons or just not turning up and not letting DH know, for example). I'm so cross that he's been so trusting and not charged in advance but I'm also so cross that they're taking the mickey. It's by the by on the legal issue but I do know they are very well off (we are not!) and that annoys me even more - he's had students in the past who've had money issues / major bereavements etc and they've all still managed to pay on time. I just feel so helpless and I don't know how to stop it bothering me so much. I just want the whole thing to go away.

I hear you. A lot of parents are like this. It’s the vending machine approach. You put your money in and expect the results to come out, but obviously in learning it’s not like that. But, a lot of people are assholes when it comes to money. Most tutors I know expect monthly payments paid in advance.

Anyway, it’s shit and I’m probably not helping but I would not send that letter if I were you. Just let him sort it out himself.

You should absolutely not get involved yourself. It’s not your contract so they have no responsibility to you, and it will make your husband look like he isn’t serious about pursuing this formally. You can’t appeal to the better nature of people who are willing to shaft others.

It’s time for you to start pursuing legal options - I expect they’re holding out in the hope that you will give up and drop it, and may well comply once they know you’re taking it seriously.

It's not your job to get involved. It would be like someone's mum writing a letter on their behalf when they're in their 30s! I wouldn't dream of my husband being involved with any of my business dealings. He can advise me for sure, and often does when I ask, but he wouldn't do stuff on my behalf because it's my business and I'm an adult!

There are basically three options:

1. Get the ball rolling with small claims for full amount
2. Try to find a figure that both sides agree on
3. Write it off as a lesson for the future

If it's keeping you awake at night, is the amount enough to be that important? I'm all for the principle of things and people paying what they should, but sometimes in life you just have to let stuff go if it's stressing you out.

What is more stressful for you both: not having the money or this rumbling on for weeks or months?

It doesn't involve you so you need to step back. Your husband has made a huge error by not treating it as business and not getting paid upfront. It may turn out to be a costly error on his part if he doesn't have enough in writing to enforce payment.

Thanks, I think I needed to hear that I need to stay out of it - I know you're right. I just have such a hard time understanding when people try to get out of things or treat others unfairly and I hate not being able to do anything about it. I also don't know how to not be cross with DH - when I did private tuition all mine paid up front and I kept telling him something like this would happen. It's £250 which he says we might just have to write off, but that's a lot of money for us (particularly at the moment, with me now on mat leave and my freelance work dried up due to Covid) as we are just scraping by. I need to let it go and leave it with him but I don't know how to because I'm just so worried. I know he'd rather leave it because he hates confrontation but I don't think that's fair on me and DC because we need the money.

How much money are we talking here?

A solicitors letter is over £100.... so as much as I can see you’re correct is it going to be worth the hassle?

Small claims court is straightforward and doesn’t have to be stressful. It’s just a process to work through

Write it off lesson learned. It's unfair but if they are being obstructive then your time and sanity are worth more - put his efforts into getting next work.

Costs involved. So small claims could be worth it.

What complete and utter CF’s - using bullying tactics to avoid paying. I am sorry this happened. Use the small claims court.
I love my flute teacher❤️

Might it be worth having a slightly different conversation with your husband about why this is worrying you so much? I am not suggesting £250 isn’t a lot of money, especially right now, but being kept up at night by this specifically (Rather than general money worries, for example) might be a sign than you’re actually worried about the bigger financial picture and just honing in on this as a way of expressing that. £250 is a lot, but equally it wouldn’t be enough to fix a big financial issue. You might feel a bit better for talking through the whole thing as it sounds like COVID has landed you in a very different position to the one you expected to be in, and at quite short notice.

I agree with the others - stay out of it. Your husband should pursue the debt through the small claims court.

It would be interesting to know why the piece was unsuitable though. Was the piece unsuitable in itself- too easy, so didn't allow the child to demonstrate the skills necessary? Harder than necessary? Or was it that the piece would have been fine but the child couldn't play it well enough because he didn't practice?

@alatune luckily a solicitor's letter will be free as we can use the union and they'll do it for us.

I'm SO cross with him for putting us in this position. I don't know how much of that is deflected anger because I don't have the opportunity to be cross with the horrible parents.

@ElectricMistofelees I worry about money a lot - DH got made redundant a year ago and the only job he's been able to get is half his previous salary. Plus I grew up in not a very affluent household so I've probably picked up constant money worrying from my parents.

@Fifthtimelucky It was a really weird reason like it wasn't different enough from the ensemble piece, that I've never come across in ten years of teaching! I'm sceptical as to whether the school actually got it right because in my experience you can use pretty much anything - but that's by the by, I suppose.

I’ve been a music teacher for years and years, both as a peri and a classroom teacher. I’ve spent hours upon hours chasing up invoices on behalf of peripatetic staff and supporting them in getting their money. Did your husband invoice for the money from the outset?

About 18 months ago my son had a couple of drum lessons with the drum teacher at the school I worked at and my son attended. And he hated it, so drum teacher kindly said that as he had a replacement child for the slot he would only charge us for half a term. This was in September. Despite me asking for his bank details repeatedly to pay him for his half a term, he finally sent me the invoice in the first week of December. Which was the week of nativities and Carol Service and I was barely at my desk. Within 24 hours of him finally sending me this invoice he was hassling me to pay it via text as I didn’t pay it the minute it hit my inbox, despite taking 3.5 months of me asking repeatedly for him to send it to me. I paid it the following day. But I was a bit pissed off that he’d been so disorganised and then had a bit of a go at the me!

Ds has piano lessons and the teacher invoices us half termly in advance and makes it very clear we can’t attend the lessons (at his house) until we’ve paid. He also has trumpet lessons where we pay weekly.

The family are absolutely taking the piss, but they sound like the kind of family that you are better well clear of. Can your DH do some zoom tuition at the moment to try and boost financials? Both DS’s teachers are teaching remotely at the moment and it’s working well.

Sorry to hear you’re so stressed-I hope you can move past this.

I wouldn't bother with a solicitors letter. they have made it clear they won't be paying. I would send a final letter, headed Letter Before Action, outlining clearly what is owed and give them a further 14 days to pay before issuing online via the bulk centre. I would also pre-prepare the claim form to attach to the letter to show them that you are being serious about issuing proceedings. Make sure you sue the right person/people and have the correct address. You can print off a Claim Form from the County Court website.

How much are you owed?

If its over £5,000 i would skip small claims and go straight for a statutory demand. You can fill this out and serve it yourself - they have 21 days to pay and then you can start bankruptcy proceedings against them if they dont pay.

Given the backlogs of the courts at the moment I would suggest using this over small claims if the amounts are enough.

Otherwise, small claims is really your only cost-effective option. A solicitors' letter will have absolutely no effect.

Yes he's been doing Zoom lessons (with the rest of his pupils who have nice, reasonable parents!).

I'm autistic too which I think is part of the reason I find it so hard to let things go! I get fixated on the issue and can't stop thinking about it.

I don't think DH got them to sign an agreement (another thing I'm cross with him about - all my pupils always had these). He does have text / email correspondence for a lot of the lessons though, to prove they took place.