To think he's overstayed his welcome?

[introorextro]

I would say I've always been quite a quiet, shy introvert but I masked it quite a bit in my younger days by using alcohol which did make me more sociable and enjoy peoples company more. Honestly on the 3 days my daughter is at her dads I am so happy and content spending the time alone, it really makes me feel recharged and is what I look forward to each week.

However, I'm now 28 with a daughter so my party nights are few and far between and I'm not keen on having just a few as I find it just makes me sleepy and even more boring.

Anyways on Friday night I picked my friend up from the train station and he stayed for the weekend (not UK), we stayed up till 2 am then the next day we went visiting different friends all day and he stayed again. By the end of the day I was feeling quite frazzled and exhausted. We stayed up till around 12 am last night. Then this morning, I dropped him at another friends house, I then had a few hours just me and my daughter and then him and another friend came over for dinner and they are still here at just past 12 am.

I have a tension headache and feel honestly exhausted and so irritable. I feel I have had no time to myself (which I haven't). I feel I have nothing to add to the conversation. I need them to leave but I hate to come across as rude.

Is this just part of being an introvert or is there something more serious going on? I feel this way after a couple of hours of anyone's company apart from my daughters, then I just want to be alone! Surely it can't be normal?

I’m much older than you (45), but I think most people would find that exhausting?

I think you need some younger person views...

I think its an introvert thing, im the same when my best friend stays, i love her and love her company but after a couple of nights i just want my physical and mental space back to retreat to.
Ask them to leave, its late, you're not being unreasonable at all.

That's exhausting to read.

Meeting up is nice but that is a really full on weekend.

You need to say nicely, but firmly "guys it's been lovely, but I'm going to call it a night, busy week ahead"...and get up and guide them to the door.

Good luck.

Im early 30s for the age reference but have always been like this, love a party and a get together but it has a time limit.
The only person I've ever not been exhausted by after a couple of days is an ex boyfriend who was also an introvert.

I'm 29 and I don't think I'm an introvert (but maybe I'm wrong) but this would be doing my head in, you've only had a few hours off to spend with your kid in days and they are wanting to stay really late on a sunday? No sorry that's not on.
Try saying ok shall we have a last drink before calling it a night or something like that?

I'm 35 and love people staying 'in theory' and hate it in actuality. My max is 2 nights and that's very best friends or my parents (who don't expect to be 'entertained').

I'm definitely an introvert, I can only cope with DH because as he once said 'I can't stand people in my space - but you don't count'.

Lockdown with DD(3) has really tested my sanity to be honest.

I'm the same.

I love peace and nobody there.

I hate being kept up.

I'd just say sorry guys I'm so tired going to bed night

But how long did you invite him for? Did you specifically invite him for dinner tonight?

Anyways on Friday night I picked my friend up from the train station and he stayed for the weekend

tell him you're taking him to the train.... the weekends over

You say you’re not in the UK, but Bloody Nora, that’s a lot of casual social contact during a pandemic. A pandemic that’s everywhere.

You’ll be thinking back fondly on that tension headache if you keep this up...

I agree with a PP - stand up, say it's been great but you're calling it a night now.

@Croquemonsieur I knew he was coming to stay with me the Friday and the Saturday night. And yes the three of us had arranged to have dinner together tonight I just didn't think it would go on so late. They are still here and I am about to say something. I just feel so angry now.

I wouldn't have any problem with that kind of level of socialising, I might want my own space back but I wouldn't be tired.
I'm early 30's and can still pull an all nighter or 2 though, it's not like you were clubbing til 6am you were presumably lounging around chatting with friends?

I'd usually be in bed sleeping by now but I think I'll have to stay up for a while once they go so that I can have some time alone before work tomorrow morning. I have had no down time, I can't deal with it.

I feel this way after too much social contact, especially if I am the ‘host’.

I think this is a good opportunity to practice being assertive (doesn’t come easily to me). Tell them you’re tired and want some time alone with your daughter tomorrow.

Are they generally a bit pushy? Is that why you’re finding it hard to end their stay?

What time is it there? Does your friend have his things still in your place? Can they get back to the other person's place easily?

Go and put on a dressing gown and get your toothbrush and tell them they have to go.

It is hard being an introvert, I spent most of my life feeling like an alien until I somehow managed to end up with friends and DP who understand. I can say to them now ‘I’d love you to come over but I need to tell you when to leave’ and they’re totally fine with it. It took a while of filtering and I’ve lost a few relationships along the way but it’s totally worth it! I suggest being honest and see what happens.

Just says ‘it has been lovely but I have to be up for work in the morning.’ They will get their coats and go. If not, be really clear. That shouldn’t be necessary though.

Say wow it's getting late I need to go to bed. Goodbye.

And they're away hallelujah!!

Was practically pushing them out the door

That sounds pretty intense. I'm fairly social (although a lot less so now) but I'd be exhausted these days with all those late nights. Just yawn, say you've a busy day tomorrow and really need to get to bed.

You have a child - you are in a different headspace to them. Time alone becomes much more valued when you have a small child. I would never invite someone to come and stay full stop as I don’t like entertaining and we already have a house full.

YANBU - just learn from it and don’t have houseguests again. Or make your boundaries very clear from the offset “you’re fine to stay the night but I really have to get on with such a thing the next day”.

They say that guests are like fish - they both begin to stink after 3 days

I just make it very clear I'm off to bed and I go. Like 10pm I'll be like must go up now and I go. Most people who stay understand that people who kids can not sleep until midday.