To ask if 6 years is too big an age gap?

[BillUnloved]

Not that I can do anything about it now as I'm 3 months pregnant, but I'm feeling quite worried. Worried as there'll be a 6 year age gap and worried because we've found a degree of sanity and ease with life that's going to be wrecked.

So I guess AIBU to ask whether if you've got a big age gap if it's terrible? And how hard was it going back to the beginning and going up to 2?

@BillUnloved

Can't really help that now @SandyY2K, it took ages to conceive.

Thanks for the reassurance (and doom).
I wasn't intending to bring doom.

If age isn't on your side, I definitely wouldn't deliberately leave a 6 year gap. However, if fertility issues make the gap 6 years, that's different.

I know someone who planned her 3 children with a similar age gap because of childcare. I wouldn't do that..but each to their own.

I like a closer age gap, as I could so thingsenjoyed both enjoyed growing up... Although I will admit when I was pregnant with my second, I did wonder how I'd manage 😅 My toddler was pretty lively and still in nappies then. It's a 2 and half year gap.

If we'd had a choice it would have been a lot smaller. My sister has 1.5 years between hers. It was horrific to begin with but now they are close and can do a lot of the same things.

5 years between my boys

Positives - DS2 born just after DS1 started school, so I was able to have a bit of a rest in the run up, able to attend baby classes, sleep when baby sleeps etc. DS1 loved looking after his little brother when he was a baby - enjoyed helping to get feeds ready etc. He also liked the fact he was treated as a special really big boy, due to the age gap we've often done things with the boys separately as what would appeal to one, wouldn't the other I.e theme park trips - DS really loved this.

Downsides - too far apart to really play together, by the time DS2 was able to properly play, DS1 had outgrown it - this was also a personality thing - DS1 was never much of a toy player etc. I feel we hit tricky ages at the same time, so like currently they're 11 and 16. DS2 is at that annoying gobby 11 pre teen stage, DS1 is maturing into an adult and can't really tolerate it etc

So it's much of a much really. If anything the loveliest thing is that DS2 absolutely idolises his big brother who is a fantastic role model for him. That's really lovely to see.

I’m going to have an almost exact 10 year age gap, currently pregnant and due on DS 10th birthday!

There’s 10 years between my brother and I, I adore him and spoilt him rotten once I was 18. I didn’t plan a 10 year age gap, it took 3 years to conceive this baby.