Childcare setting open but giving DS no sessions

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

DS attends a preschool covering the two years prior to primary school. Usually max 20 kids, but typically there might be 15 or 16 or so on a normal day. Open term time only, similar to school hours.

Have reopened from 1 June but only giving sessions to the 2nd years, those due due to start school in Sept. Have less than half usual numbers in. Govt funding still being claimed for the children who have been given no sessions, and those parents are unable to leave and use funding elsewhere as a terms notice is required.

Communication has been vague and isn't making clear what's limiting the ability to offer sessions to kids in the 1st year (eg perhaps staff are shielding?) Theres vague suggestion of trying to get the 1st years in but with a start date pushing ever closer to the school holidays.

AiBU to be pissed off? It feels like the staff had written off the summer term (most have their own kids) and never really expected/wanted to reopen, but are trying to comply with the requirement to reopen to continue getting funded hours money, while actually offering as little as possible.

My DS is desperately bored at home and really wants to go back. I cant even take the funded hours and use them with DS old childminder so he could have a change of scene.

I think if they had even been able to offer DS a single session (of the four he usually has), I wouldn't mind but nothing? I also would mind less if they gave a good reason eg "we usually have x staff but unfortunately y are shielding therefore we can only accept z% of usual children". But they are not doing this.

I am pissed off that my child is being denied social interaction which is vital at this age. It is detrimental to his development.

It may not be what he wants and it may be harder for you but it is not detrimental to his development. He can get everything he needs from you in that way.

They are following govt guidance to prioritise those starting school in September. It is a massive transition, they are losing their last term of nursery as they know it and it is absolutely right that they take priority.

DS's nursery has gone from 30 children per session to 18, so they can keep them
in bubbles and avoid the need to social distance.

The Manager has been great at communicating but there has been late notice of govt guidance and she has also had to accommodate late changes of mind from parents (and staff). Perhaps this is the case in your nursery?

Your DS will presumably have a full academic year of preschool before starting school - I am sure that will make up any ground he has lost this year.

It isn't fair and it is disappointing, but that is also the case for my elder 3 DC who are wildly jealous of their youngest sibling going to preschool and who are losing so, so much through not being able to attend school.

it is not detrimental to his development. He can get everything he needs from you in that way.

Can you point me to some scientific literature to support the notion that it's not damaging to a 3 year old to not interact with a single other child for 6 whole months?

This doesn’t relate to the preschool but have you tried doing preschool classes over zoom, we do and
We have also done joint WhatsApp and YouTube class makes them feel more connected.

It might be worth also looking at some of the lockdown activity groups on fb they have some good ideas

It may not be what he wants and it may be harder for you but it is not detrimental to his development. He can get everything he needs from you in that way.

Is that true of a 3 year old? He's not a baby. If you look at the huge change in how children relate to each other between 2 and 4 it's pretty obvious that this is a stage of huge social development and that missing out on that is likely to have an impact.

Just like how no one thought working from home with a toddler was ok or doable before but now we're all collectively pretending it is, before all this no one thought it was great parenting to never take your toddler to any kind of social setting, but now we all have to pretend that this is absolutely fine, I guess because what else can we do?

Human beings have evolved to live socially. It underpins our our societies. This is the age when children begin to learn empathy, team work etc. Its not 6 months learning the alphabet to prepare for reception later on. Its 6 months at a crucial age that he wont ever get back.

Starlightstarbright1

Good ideas. Thank you for understanding what I feel he's missing here.

Yes, I agree, OP. It's really unfortunate. Our nursery is the same in the sense that it's prioritising those children transitioning to primary school, and I do think that's fair, but it does leave a not insignificant number of children in limbo.

My DD is young enough that it isn't really an issue yet as she is only 16mo and was only due to start this month, but I do think it's important for older toddlers/pre-schoolers to have social interactions with their peers. They learn a huge amount from each other in the couple of years before school, and there are currently very few opportunities to plug the gap that no nursery or pre-school leaves open. Of course children don't need to go to nursery specifically to learn social skills, but presumably most people take their young children to other settings where they meet other children in normal times, such as toddler classes, soft play, the park, etc. That's not possible right now.

I don't think many people in pre-Covid times would have their 3yo not seeing or interacting with another child for months on end, surely?

It is the 6th, schools returned on the 1st.

Give them a chance!!!

I’m sorry you are in this situation. Our (private) nursery reopened this week and it’s made the world of difference for my 3.5 year old to just have two days back there.

What do you want? Do you want to take him to a different setting? Or do you want to insist this setting takes him?
My Y5 hasn’t seen her friends in weeks.
My Y12 is facing A levels next year having missed weeks and weeks of school.
This situation is pretty awful for lots of people. We have to do our best given the situation we find ourselves in.

I think children between 2& about 6 are quite exceptional too as they dont get much from socialising via screens. My older niece is really missing school but gets a lot from video calls with friends and is old enough to chat in the back garden of her friends house while keeping distance. Its not ideal but its keeping her going. It's just so so tough on younger children.

I do really feel for those with older ones missing exams. I sincerely hope whatever system is brought in to estimate grades can help ensure the impact on young people's futures is minimised.

YABU. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, “fair” doesn’t come into it.

If your three your old is bored then actually trying parenting him so he learns not to get bored.

Older children must be prioritised. Yours will not suffer from this; he won’t even remember it.

How many 3 year olds do you think are going through the same thing? I have one too! There are many children missing out on social interaction but that comes second to people dying of covid!

Yes @LisaSimpsonsbff, it does seem a bit of a taboo to suggest that young children are missing out on some pretty formative stuff during a crucial time for social development. It's apparently tantamount to saying you don't like your child and don't want to spend time with them. I guess we should all be working full time while spending eight hours a day making paper rainbows and doing scavenger hunts with our children as well as earning money so they can actually eat and have a home.

Are you actually paying anything,or is it just funding? I think you'd find it practically impossible to find a place in a different setting btw, for exactly the same reasons as to why your child can't go.

Look. It's really not hard to understand. Government guidelines are that only a certain number of children can be in the space available, so in order to adhere to that, a pre-school cannot take all their children. Given that, those who will be going to school shortly need to be prioritised as they need to be prepared. If your child was one of them and children a year younger were being given places and he wasn't, THEN you'd have grounds to complain.
The pre school is following the rules. You're entitled to be annoyed at the lack of communication, but things are far from ideal now. And your child's socialisation can be made up for in the future. Children going to school with no preparation is not something that can be caught up on later, so rightly, they're prioritised.

Wolfiefan

I would like either of

• some provision at his existing preschool. Even a single session per week.

Or

• clear communication from preschool on why they do not have capacity for even a single session for him now.

Or

• a release of funding for him while they are not providing anything at all for him, to enable me to use it elsewhere.

Oh and the argument that just because someone won't remember something means they won't suffer any effects from it is absurd and totally incorrect. Are we suggesting children who are victim of or witness to traumatic things in their younger years won't be affected by it in any way because they won't remember it when they're 16? I'm not saying that not going to nursery is traumatic, but of course not having social interaction with another child for months on end can have long-term effects, whether you remember the specifics of it when you're 40 or not.

It's nothing to do with memories; it's about the effect on social and personal development.

The government said "prioritise" children starting school in September.

I didn't read where it said have those kids back full time & give other children no session at all. Is that what it said?

Many local settings are managing to find space for children my sons age. I don't think its weird to want to know why his preschool are struggling more than other settings to provide a service.

That said, early years settings are in a really difficult
position so I don't know if I would be apportioning blame to them specifically. Ours has to juggle key workers and SEN/vulnerable children with those starting primary in August and then all the rest with much reduced capacity. It can't be easy.

Have you approached the school wot3your requests?

Have you approached the school with your requests?

Children going to school with no preparation is not something that can be caught up on later, so rightly, they're prioritised

Sorry what is covered in the year before school that cant be caught up later, that's different to whats experienced by a younger child?

In both cases these children are missing social development. If it can't be caught up later by a 4 year old, it can't be caught up by a 3 year old either.

Our preschool has 4 sessions available a week. They could have prioritised 4 year olds by giving them 3 of them, leaving 1 for the 3 year olds.

In

All children are missing out on 6 months of learning/socialising that they won't get back,
Most children at school will not return until September (including my older 3 DC) and it will have a massive impact upon them. Zoom calls/chats in the garden don't actually mitigate this - DC3 (aged 8) won't do them as they upset him too much, DC1 won't do Zoom calls as she's very self/conscious. And we haven't had a chat with anyone in the garden.

I am sorry for your DC but all children are suffering. Providers are doing what they can whilst trying to minimise risk. When schools/preschools closed in March, the expectation was that it would be until September.

And that's without mentioning not having seen their grandparents since December....