Neighbours keep being noisy late at night - AIBU

[CowgirlBride]

The property next door to us was recently rented by a young couple (early to mid twenties) Prior to that it has been vacant since we bought our house in September. (In fact it was on the market at the same time as our one was) We met them when they were moving their stuff in so they know we have a baby.
10 days ago was the first night they slept there and they woke DS (7 months) up at midnight by clattering around in their shed which is practically below his window.
The next night they were again being noisy and woke the baby and DH went over at 11pm and asked them (politely) to keep the noise down. Turns out they were assembling some bunk beds.
The houses basically mirror each other so all the bedrooms back onto each other and the sound carries.
A few days after that they clunking around again late but luckily didn't wake the baby. And again tonight there's been banging and now DS is seriously wiggling.
DS is normally a really good sleeper but two weeks ago I had to get him up late at night as DH had cut his finger badly and I drove him to A&E. DS then got into a bad sleep pattern which I was trying hard to overcome but when the neighbours banged in the shed, it just cemented the problem. Once DS is up he thinks he's been to sleep all night and is then up and unsettled for hours. And he was doing this every night.
DS has JUST about got settled into a sensible sleep pattern again and I really don't want to undo everything I've worked so hard for.
I understand that having moved in recently they will have things to do, and I would never expect them to be quiet during the day, even if it was during DS nap time as obviously his schedule is nothing to do with them. But I think late at night is a different matter. DH also works in care so has really early starts, so it's not fair on him either.
AIBU to think I shouldn't have to keep reminding the neighbours to keep the noise down?

the neighbours banged in the shed

@Hingeandbracket I'm now chuckling and DS is looking at me like "what you laughing at mama?"

@CowgirlBride honestly you’ve had the luxury of the property being empty since September. I think this has probably “spoiled” you a bit.
Noise does carry when you are loving cheek by jowl - I know in my old house you could literally hear every flush of the loo and neighbours going up and down stairs.

The thing is - if it’s diy it’s not going to carry on forever. But - if you start knocking and complaining at every opportunity- they will start to do the same. Dh starting his car at 5am? Knock knock. Baby crying at 2am - they will be banging on the wall.

You are setting yourself up for a long winded dispute here over what is very likely to be a temporary issue. And that will impact your sleep far more than a week or two of putting together flat pack furniture.

Your baby probably isn’t even hearing them, it’s probably just going through a new fussy sleeping phase coincidentally as they’ve moved in. Loud raves at 2am fair enough, but if furniture assembly at 10/11 you need to suck it up

My new next door neighbour plays his guitar and sings very loudly the same song over and over, so annoying. He also spends time in the garden tapping something metal for hours. Even the little girl next door but two shouted out that the tapping was annoying. I think it’s because we are all home at the moment, we notice others noise. Although his singing can be all times of day or night. They also argue too, can hear every word, and always starts at midnight. Bloody annoying but can’t really complain to them.

I think people have misunderstood what I meant in my original post. I am in no way gonna go round there and "complain" at every opportunity or just because they are moving about their property - I was apprehensive about DH going over at all as I'm seriously non-confrontational. But after it had gone on for so long and had woken the baby he said he was gonna. He agreed that it was too loud for that time of night and he is usually the first one to tell me to get over it!
I was excited that the property was taken and really do want to get on with them.
I suppose retrospectively reminding was the wrong choice of word, and I was more asking after what time is it reasonable to expect people to not do noisy DIY etc. PP have lead me to believe that midnight is okay.
Be kind guys, I'm seriously sleep deprived.

You’ve just reminded me of when a flat mate made me help her put together a flat pack dresser thing. We started at about 9pm and recall proudly finishing at 1am... she put a perfume bottle on it - the whole thing collapsed!

@amillionnamechangeslater000 well clearly it was supposed to be just for decorative purposes

Shame we are social distancing really. You could have got dh to pop over with a toolbox today and tried to hurry their diy efforts along 😊.

Sorry if I sounded harsh before - but know how these little things escalate and it’s so not worth it.

@amillionnamechangeslater000 funny you should say that as we are the kind of people that would absolutely do that (even if they weren't disturbing us) - damn you social distancing!
I know I was probably being a bit sensitive but I felt that people thought I couldn't tell the difference between them moving about in their home and doing DIY.
Hopefully DS is just going through a bad sleep phase and will settle down, but the three times they have woken him (as he woke again last night ) it's definitely been cos of their noise as he's been totally quiet and settled before. He also won't wake up for just a bang or too, it's when it goes on and on that it wakes him. Which is what I've been struggling with them doing.

I think having the baby is irrelevant in this. Your neighbours shouldn't be doing noisy DIY at 11pm.

Yadnbu no DIY is supposed to be done between 11pm and 7am.
I really don't understand why people think that your being unreasonable

I think up to 9pm, is reasonable.
I live in a mid terrace, heard my neighbours, bang doors, heard the stairs a lot, banged at front door at 8 am, when I was lying in.
I didn’t mind diy, just their selfish behaviour.
Only puss and I, offered to return the favour at 4.30am, when I quite often leave for work.
Luckily they moved, puss and I have piece again

Yabu. DH shouldn't have went over, they're probably banging late while working in the day.
Give it a few weeks let them settle in, your baby might be screaming the house down during terrible two's it is not worth causing distress.

It's frustrating isn't it?

We live in a flat, and above us is two teenage boys and their dad. They seem to do an awful lot of stamping around during the day, but then it all goes dead quiet from about 9:30.

I'm also glad I don't live next door to a man who lives opposite my block. He is always out and strange times of night, messing around. Last night I was going to bed at 11, and he was banging around in his garage, unloading a load of bags from his car, into the garage. He's often out there late at night. I've also watched him washing his car at gone 10pm!

@EmeraldShamrock but regardless of work schedule, do you not think that there is a cut off for when it's reasonable to expect people to stop making excessive noise? And if so, where is that cut off? 10pm? Midnight? 3am??

@zingally ain't nowt as queer as folk!

Why on earth do people think its normal to be doing DIY at midnight?! And yet we see people on here complaining about the amount of noise builders make during the day when that is normal? Damn this place is weird. I'm sure those saying yabu would be round in their dressing gowns hammering on the door if their neighbours started doing DIY in the middle of the night and it woke them up.

@Truthpact I know right! Before they moved in we had quite a few weeks where the landlord was doing noisy things during the day, either himself or workmen, in order to get the property ready to rent out. However annoying or disturbing to the baby that was, I would never dream of going and complaining, as it was during the day and he had the right to do what he wanted/needed to during that time.

I think YABU and have become too used to having an empty property next to you. Also think it’s a bit mean to have complained over moving in noises the minute they arrived. Hope your littl’un is v quiet because you risk creating a dynamic where they complain about the slightest noise too. You are making a rod for your own back I’m afraid.

I honestly can't believe people think YABU. I imagine if you either hadn't mentioned your baby, or had wrote this as a reverse you'd have got very different replies.

People can't help a baby crying but can help doing DIY. Doing noisy DIY is completely unreasonable at 10/11pm at night. We never make noise after about 9PM at the very latest. I've moved many many times as an adult with a full time job and managed to remain considerate.
I would have asked very politely too, in fact we did when our new neighbours did very similar, we were polite about it, they apologised, DH helped them with a couple of things and everything is good.

@FortunesFavour

So you wouldn't mind if someone lived in a house attached to yours and started doing DIY in the middle of the night, waking you up? That wouldn't bother you at all?

Not if they’d just moved in no I wouldn’t mind. I would give a few days grace to allow them to get themselves sorted in the interest of neighbourly relations, particularly if I needed to build a bit of goodwill for future baby crying.

@FortunesFavour We had/have no problem tolerating moving in/DIY noise during reasonable hours. We waited over an hour when they were assembling the bunk beds to see if they would do the reasonable thing and stop. They were literally dropping metal parts on the floor so had no concern for the noise they were causing, the same with throwing things around in the shed. DH went and said would they mind keeping it down as it was now after 11. Hardly a complaint!

Like a PP said - I can't control when the baby cries but they CAN control when they do DIY. And the baby has NEVER cried loudly for over an hour, especially not late at night. But I'm expected to tolerate hours of late night noise from them? Do good neighbourly relations not work both ways?

crashing around at those hours in an attached house is selfish pig behaviour.

unfortunately there are a lot of selfish pigs on MN, hence so many think you have to put up with it. Sorry.

also an age group thing - many in the mid twenties have blown their hearing because they've had 10 years plugged into earphones. So they have to shout and crash to hear each other.