AIBU to ask why can’t racist and those who in engage in racially prejudiced behaviour take ownership and just admit who you are?

[DRWP]

AIBU to ask why can’t racist and those who in engage in racially prejudiced behaviour take ownership and just admit who you are?

Instead, you use racial micro aggressions, passive aggressive language, pejorative terms, excuses such as “it was normal in my day, it’s a generation thing” to justify your racism.
Do you think saying “I’m not a racist/prejudiced…but…” hides who you really are inside?

Over the last few days I have been watching a few threads both here and on another site. The level of ignorance displayed has been a real eye-opener. Even when posters have been confronted about the use of their offensive language and terminology, the wilfully ignorant have refused to check their behaviour and resort to the well-known tactic so beloved of the ignorant of calling people, snowflakes, politically correct, social justice warriors and so on. The people with the power refuse to acknowledge this power and acknowledge the inequalities happening right before their eyes.

An Irish poster on another site asked a question about the use of a well-known racial slur against her community. The first few posts confirmed what the poster already believed and she decided not to stay and educate the poster’s ignorance. The racists from the other thread piled over to her thread with their same nonsense. That was such a pity as it would have given her an opportunity to start a proper conversation about why some people feel the need to be racist and exhibit racially prejudiced behaviours.

If you are racist/prejudiced, just take ownership. This way, people can make an informed decision whether they want to interact with you and not have to waste time and energy deciphering your coded racist/prejudiced views.

Janes why are you justifying racism? You're being deliberately obtuse. Which side are you on?!

Which side am I on? Well, as a low income woman, I donated half my pay check this week to an charity that helps incarcerated indigenous people in lieu of attendance at a BLM rally, if that helps you make your mind about me.

The OP wants to know why some people don't see themselves as irredeemably racist, and the answer, very prosaically, lies in the human tendency to not want to hear that we are bad people.

The suggestion that the OP could understand this phenomenon by thinking about how she may have a reflexive attitute towards other issues was made before I found out she had achieved sainthood and unlike all other humans on earth, has no implicit biases or learned prejudices.

So there are things that have been previously mentioned, such as acknowledging biases which is at a biological level. And working from a place of awareness of that to be able to move past it.

There is a 'saftey in numbers' aspect which also has a power dynamic in it. People rarely give up power and influence easily.

There is also proportionality. If there are more of a group - they will be more visible.

We need to learn how to disagree healthfully (and how hard is that in reality) ..Not everything from our culture is good and worth celebrating and nor is things from other cultures and so seriously how do we find the common ground, show respect and also disagree with cultures and practises?

No one is one thing - all good or all bad. And so people who express openly racist views can also show kindness and love.

@janeskettle

I wish there was a like button.

I am probably rascist. I dont think I am, but no doubt would have my arse handed to me for unwittingly using the phrase 'having a paddy' in the past. I learn, I grow, i still get it wrong, but I try.
However, I am almost frightened to post on some of these threads, because of the venomous responses.
On the other site you mention, the OP was asked some questions, was asked to help people understand but she left after declaring it wasnt her job to educate people, to go educate yourselves.
Fair enough.
The problem is, as in my example of having a paddy, until someone says it is offensive, I would have had no reason to educate myself on the background to it, because I had no idea there was anything to learn. Does that make sense?

I am happy to learn. I am not happy to have the rascist slur flung at me when I dont feel I have done anything to deserve it. I couldnt give a toss about colour or creed, but am being made to feel guilty because I am white.

@janeskettle

Which side am I on? Well, as a low income woman, I donated half my pay check this week to an charity that helps incarcerated indigenous people in lieu of attendance at a BLM rally, if that helps you make your mind about me.

The OP wants to know why some people don't see themselves as irredeemably racist, and the answer, very prosaically, lies in the human tendency to not want to hear that we are bad people.

The suggestion that the OP could understand this phenomenon by thinking about how she may have a reflexive attitute towards other issues was made before I found out she had achieved sainthood and unlike all other humans on earth, has no implicit biases or learned prejudices.

Well if you know about implicit biases, then you will be aware that implicit biases are malleable. Our brains are incredibly complex, and the implicit associations that we have formed can be gradually unlearned through a variety of debiasing techniques.

As I said above, I have and continue to do the work to address implicit biases. Naturally, I was exposed to certain prejudicial information during my formative years. However, I did the work to address these prejudices because I have the privilege of accessing and assimilating that knowledge to unlearn my biases. If that makes me a saint in your eyes then feels to call me Saint DRWP.

You say that no one wants to be seen as bad, but surely if someone believes their views are good and not bad, then why would they care whether they are perceived as a bad person?

I don't get it either OP

I have always thought of myself as anti racist and vocally so. But I have realised over the last week that I was not doing enough, didn't know enough and I have to be better. It's a hard realisation but fuck my comfort, I am facing it head on and taking action

I have Black nephews and cousins and I have worried about them for a long time. WHY THE FUCK have I accepted just worrying about them instead of doing more to change the world they live in.

If anyone else wants to join me in learning more and understanding I recommend following, taking notice of, and supporting

@thegreatunlearn

www.instagram.com/thegreatunlearn/

[quote Vicbarbarkley]@janeskettle

I wish there was a like button.

I am probably rascist. I dont think I am, but no doubt would have my arse handed to me for unwittingly using the phrase 'having a paddy' in the past. I learn, I grow, i still get it wrong, but I try.
However, I am almost frightened to post on some of these threads, because of the venomous responses.
On the other site you mention, the OP was asked some questions, was asked to help people understand but she left after declaring it wasnt her job to educate people, to go educate yourselves.
Fair enough.
The problem is, as in my example of having a paddy, until someone says it is offensive, I would have had no reason to educate myself on the background to it, because I had no idea there was anything to learn. Does that make sense?

I am happy to learn. I am not happy to have the rascist slur flung at me when I dont feel I have done anything to deserve it. I couldnt give a toss about colour or creed, but am being made to feel guilty because I am white.[/quote]
The question posed is one around racial prejudice, discrimination and racism. It is not a question about skin colour! I am asking that if you as a person hold racist/discriminatory/prejudiced views, why are you not willing to take ownership of those views instead of denying them?

The question posed is one around racial prejudice, discrimination and racism. It is not a question about skin colour! I am asking that if you as a person hold racist/discriminatory/prejudiced views, why are you not willing to take ownership of those views instead of denying them?

Because i dont think i do! BUT, I am conscious that there are things I am unaware of - as stated in my post.
I cannot take ownership of rascist views when I am unaware of them. That just does not make sense.
I acknowledge I might get some things wrong through ignorance. Not rascism.

Sorry, I dont kniw how to quote

Or spell😮

I think people don't accept that they are racist because for example they don't call people names, they are not rude, they are friendly. To do otherwise would be being openly racist.

However I think a lot is inbuilt to us. My dm is racist, homophobic etc. She's not a nice person. I have listened to comments like you better not come home with a black man, don't ever get pregnant to a black man. And other such delightful comments. That's just the tip of of I'm sure there's other stuff that I simply don't remember.

So it's been bred into me but I am a nice person who understands that this is not right and I go out of my way to work against my inbuilt prejudice. I also never say anything to my children other than equality etc

I can see a situation where people don't have that understanding and they allow the inbuilt prejudice to stay. They have no willingness to change their views.

It works both ways.
Some blacks are horribly racist to whites and vice versa.
Some Asian's are horribly racist to those from different Asian countries and towards white people.

I think everybody is racist, not in the extreme but definitely racist or xenophobic.

You're deluded if you think otherwise.

They just don’t realise, even when it’s pointed out. I’m ashamed to say I was the same until fairly recently. I’d been brought up to think the police were a force for good and would only arrest you if you’d done something wrong. So I assumed that the fact a higher percentage of black people get arrested is because a higher percentage of them are criminals I never stopped to learn about the origins of the police or the reasons behind black crime.

Thankfully I like to read a lot and after reading “why I’m no longer talking to white people about race” by Reni Eddo-Lodge I had my eyes opened and started to look for more and more material on this topic. I can also highly recommend the “13th” documentary on Netflix. Very eye-opening.

@NiceTwin

It works both ways. Some blacks are horribly racist to whites and vice versa. Some Asian's are horribly racist to those from different Asian countries and towards white people.

I think everybody is racist, not in the extreme but definitely racist or xenophobic.

You're deluded if you think otherwise.

So if you think everybody is racist/xenophobic are you admitting that you also hold racist/xenophobic views, too?

@Vicbarbarkley

The question posed is one around racial prejudice, discrimination and racism. It is not a question about skin colour! I am asking that if you as a person hold racist/discriminatory/prejudiced views, why are you not willing to take ownership of those views instead of denying them?

Because i dont think i do! BUT, I am conscious that there are things I am unaware of - as stated in my post.
I cannot take ownership of rascist views when I am unaware of them. That just does not make sense.
I acknowledge I might get some things wrong through ignorance. Not rascism.

So given that number of threads posted discussing these issues, have you identified any biases that you may have held but not been aware?

@ConkerGame

They just don’t realise, even when it’s pointed out. I’m ashamed to say I was the same until fairly recently. I’d been brought up to think the police were a force for good and would only arrest you if you’d done something wrong. So I assumed that the fact a higher percentage of black people get arrested is because a higher percentage of them are criminals I never stopped to learn about the origins of the police or the reasons behind black crime.

Thankfully I like to read a lot and after reading “why I’m no longer talking to white people about race” by Reni Eddo-Lodge I had my eyes opened and started to look for more and more material on this topic. I can also highly recommend the “13th” documentary on Netflix. Very eye-opening.

And this is what happens when you inform yourself with knowledge. You gain an alternative point of view which, you can either integrate into psyche to change underlying beliefs or ignore.

I am currently reading that book and have a few others lined up. I have not seen "13th" as don't have Netflix. I will try to gain access to it when I can.

If I have not personally addressed you, please don't think I am ignoring you. Trying to juggle a number of things. Thank you all for your insights, thus far.

@DRWP yes

But not towards anybody you would immediately think of.

There are stereotypical views of a certain race of people round where I live. Sadly, the crime statistics bear a striking relationship to people's thoughts.
I don't think that makes those calling them out racist, the facts speak fo themselves.

TBH I think the term 'racism' has become too broad.

At the moment it covers everything from literal Nazis and white supremacists to people who think of themselves as anti-racist but have some implicit biases that they're not aware of. People in the latter category are going to be reluctant to accept the therm "racist" as a description because that lumps them in with people at the Nazi end of the spectrum.

We need a more sophisticated language to label the different "levels" of racial prejudice, rather than just one blanket term.

I feel it’s better to realise that most unconscious bias are the reaction to societal racism. Instead of asking why a woman locks her car in a black neighbourhood the real question should be why in the black neighbourhood in poverty. Blue collar crime is linked to poverty not the colour of your skin. But the colour of your skin and the stereotypes surrounding that has a serious impact on social mobility so you are more likely to be in poverty therefore fuelling the stereotypes.

None of us like to face the worst bits of ourselves. It takes a lot of courage to truly self examine all the parts of yourself, especially the undesirable ones. We all try to go around believing in the best version of ourselves. Accepting your own racial biases is hard work. Noticing micro aggressions and pointing them out is hard work. Looking inward and discovering that you may be racist? That's a step many are incapable of taking. It's not just hard work, it's something that they are incapable accepting as part of themselves, and so they continue living with their obvious cognitive dissonances and hypocrisy. Because once you accept a thing you don't like about yourself, you have to change it. Change is just too much work for some people

@NotDavidTennant

Yes I think you are right. Some people are racist accidentally. Some are racist intentionally. For some it's subconscious, others it's conscious. Some overt some covert. Some socially motivated to fit in, some socially motivated to stand out. Some are open to learning, others have deep rooted views they are not willing to unlearn. For nazis and white suprematists it is like a religion, something they are proud of and think represents them, but for the clumsy ally it is something that they would be embarrassed by and so not think represents them at all. There are definitely different branches of racism. Unfortunately some of the most subtle are the most deadly.

For the same reason liars don't admit their lies, cheaters deny they're cheating, gamblers don't admit how much they lose.................everyone cares what their peers perception of them is..............so they won't admit what's not seen as acceptable in society. :(

@nowayhose a lot of people are in denial about their own behaviours too. They decide it wasn't really cheating it was just a kiss. They use cash to gamble so are never faced with it in front of them on a bank statement. They decide they were just 'white lies' to save people's feelings not real lies. Etc.

@ 3LittleMonkeyz I totally agree

With reference to the PP about accidental/ subconscious etc, I believe that it's peoples intention which defines whether someone is racist/ liar/cheat etc.

If the intention is to insult/ hide truth etc then they need to own their intended result. Unfortunately, most will not. :(