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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very pissed off with my friend?

52 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 13:50

This is a guy who has considered himself to be social distancing if he shags his latest booty call from behind......

Last night I had a few and a mutual friend and I got a bit carried away (via video chat). Nothing serious, bit a laugh all is good. I told my friend in a "Omg you wont believe what X and I did last night" kind of way, I thought he would roll his eyes and not judge as I dont judge him, even though I could.

He has turned into the fucking morality police! He is disappointed in us both, has gone on about how it ruins friendships which I guess it has but only because he is kicking off, and now he isnt speaking to me. Me and mutual friend are both single, no one got hurt, what is his problem?

I am really pissed off with him. He is being such a hypocrite.

OP posts:
VettiyaIruken · 05/06/2020 13:53

I would guess either he is a hypocrite who thinks men are great to shag around but the women who aren't pure, chaste and all that crap are disgusting.

Or he thinks you should have done it with him.

mbosnz · 05/06/2020 13:56

This is a guy who has considered himself to be social distancing if he shags his latest booty call from behind.....

[schnortles. . .]

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 13:57

Or he thinks you should have done it with him.

I am beginning to wonder if this is the issue......

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 05/06/2020 14:02

If he’s not been following the guidelines to the letter himself then I’d think it was a touch of jealousy over you or the mutual friend.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 14:04

Mutual friend is also a bloke so no jealousy there.

OP posts:
TemoraryUsername · 05/06/2020 14:05

His reaction is his baggage and it doesn't need to become yours

SteveTheSpiderPlantKiller · 05/06/2020 14:05

How bizarre! Maybe he doesnt want to be caught in the middle if it all goes wrong.

Tonz · 05/06/2020 14:10

Sounds like he's jealous

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 14:10

There is nothing to go wrong though, it was one off. A bit of a misjudgement my part, I own that, but thats all. Me and mutual friend are ok, bit embarrassed but you know...

I dont know what my friends problem is, especially considering he has been shagging around irl for as long as I have known him!

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 05/06/2020 14:15

I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You can’t control how people react, and if they choose to have a strop that’s up to them. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on so I wouldn’t allow it any more headspace.

Spannwr1971 · 05/06/2020 14:50

He's jealous. If he's at a time in life where he's shagging around, he'll be miffed he didn't get to have that experience with you, but someone else did.

PerpendicularVincent · 05/06/2020 14:52

I hope your friend wasn't recording!

Angry friend sounds jealous tbh.

Soubriquet · 05/06/2020 14:54

Have you ever had sex with friend?

If you haven’t, it sounds like he’s jealous because you’re willing to have cyber cam sex with this other bloke, but nothing with him.

momtoolliex · 05/06/2020 15:13

It sounds like he's jealous imo

Thelnebriati · 05/06/2020 15:20

He could be one of those men that needs a harem, and you broke his fantasy.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 15:40

No I;'ve never slept with him.

It was a drunken one off which I am embarrassed about (and no, mutual friend wouldnt record, due to his job he would have more to worry about on that score than me).

I am coming to the idea that he may be jealous. We have another mutual friend, female, who I trust. I told her about it and she is disgusted at his attitude because she knows as well as I do what a player he is. Being married didnt stop him shagging around (I didnt know him then) so how the hell he thinks he has the right to pontificate at me I dont know!

It wasnt my finest hour, but you know, we all do things in the heat of the moment and at least I was social distancing :o

OP posts:
cstaff · 05/06/2020 15:41

Definitely a jealous man.. and an idiot. Ignore his bullshit comments. If he doesn't want to be "fwends" anymore just let him off and once you don't react he will be back soon enough.

zingally · 05/06/2020 15:41

This is odd... You had... what? Phone sex with a friend, told your other friend about it, and now other friend is pissed off?

If other friend is pissed off about it, that's his problem. Ignore him, and he'll get over it. If he doesn't, he wasn't a true friend to begin with.

But maybe stop using your sex life as the latest gossip...?

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 15:42

And I've just seen that he has unfriended the other bloke on FB. So childish!

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 15:45

But maybe stop using your sex life as the latest gossip...?

It wasnt gossip. He messaged me and asked how I was and I said I was feeling a bit rough and a bit embarrassed because me and X had got a bit carried away. That was when he went off on one. He tells me stuff too, we always have done. I would say I know more about his love life than anyone else. He fell out with a guy that I was seeing when they had been friends first. I took his reasoning (guy was flaky and let him down a couple of times, as he did me which is why we split up) as read but now I am wondering.......

OP posts:
Everythingsgoingmyway · 05/06/2020 15:51

To be honest, my view of 2 friends would change if one told me they'd both had a pissed up wank over videocall. I'd rather not know.

OutOfHours · 05/06/2020 16:08

To be honest, my view of 2 friends would change if one told me they'd both had a pissed up wank over videocall. I'd rather not know.

Fair enough not wanting to know, but why would it change your view of them?

Diverseduvet · 05/06/2020 16:10

Both your initial comment about your friend and you over sharing, yuck.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/06/2020 16:23

It wasn't gossip. He messaged me and asked how I was.

It wouldn't occur to me to give an update on my sex life if someone asked me how I was. Maybe that's just me, though. Confused

thepeopleversuswork · 05/06/2020 16:29

He's definitely jealous, no other plausible explanation.

I personally wouldn't have shared the videocam exploit with him just out of self-protection: have learned from bitter experience that people can be funny about hook-ups between others within the same friendship group.

You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologise for but I think sometimes worth being a bit circumspect about stuff like this.

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