AIBU or is lockdown with 20 month old hell?

[Anewmum2018]

Bear with me... I just need reassurance.... people with toddlers are finding this hell right? It’s not just me being a crappy mum?
No parks, playgroups, soft play. I LITERALLY am out of my mind with boredom and feel so guilty that I’m not enjoying my kid more! Is this normal?

I have a nearly 3 yr old. All she wants to do is see her friends, she bored of us. She wants the park, soft play, go to playmates house, family houses. She is very excited about starting nursery september. Not sure i can handle her constant asking till then.
I also have 19yr and 11yr, they are much easier to manage.

I have been thinking of you all for the past 11 weeks. Us primary age parents have been moaning about home schooling . . .home schooling is the equivalent of all inclusive holiday compared to entertaining a toddler at home all day. And with a baby in the mix? Wow.

My 18mo is my youngest of 3 and I can honestly say I haven’t been bored once during lockdown! I think it’s easier if you have older kids too as you don’t feel the need to entertain your toddler much. Mine plays alone or with his siblings most of the time, and when I do get a chance to sit down and read to him or play properly with him, it’s bliss.

Yanbu it was ok to start with. I’m feeling like a rubbish mum at the moment.
I’m pregnant and hormonal so seem to be crying a lot.
So fed up of the whole situation.

My sons two next week and I honestly don’t think I can do another day. I can’t sleep just lay awake dreading the tantrums and frustrations. The same walks the same dull routine and I have this for the foreseeable as I’ve been made redundant.
I’ve no garden just a balcony I would do anything for a garden right now with swings and slides. I’m considering breaking into the park tomorrow.
I think it’s probably the end of soft play for a while too

God that was a depressing read sorry

Yes it's so tough. 3 year old and 6 month old here. Our 3yo will not be able to go back to nursery this term. Was struggling with pnd before all this but managing to keep busy by going to baby groups etc, now all that is gone and my mental health has really gone down hill.

Solidarity! I have a 20 mth old and a 10 week old who has severe reflux and unless is held ALL the time (day and night) will scream blue murder. Husband is WFH and parents as much as he’s able (most of it is just sticking the tv on for toddler while walking round baby who will be screaming or getting sick 90% of the time), but majority of the day it’s just me trying to entertain toddler while BFing / rocking / winding / carrying / cleaning baby constantly as well as do all the housework and make sure we all have clean pants... I make majority of food for toddler, but husband at least makes majority of meals for us so that’s something. It’s relentless, but in some ways I’m hugely grateful I’m on maternity leave as I have no idea how I’d cope having to work from home with my little loveable terror.

Seriously fed up though with certain people asking me how I’m enjoying my “holiday” though, and acting like every day should be a pure doddle. No, granted it’s not like being down the mines and I’m well aware there’s always some who have it worse, but unless you’ve done it yourself then please shush as being home in these circumstances with 2 small children is pretty intense.

I have a 23 month old. It’s been an absolute nightmare. Every day is the same and I can’t see an end in sight!

Thanks for starting this thread OP, it's made me feel less alone. I have 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. The last few days have been hellish with the toddler, refusing to sleep, screaming tantrums. I'm exhausted!

As if you will have any time
But if you you I highly recommend rob Beckett and josh Widdicombe’s lockdown parenting hell podcast to help you have a giggle. You are not alone!!!

I've found my home!

100% with you, OP. Also have a 20 month old and sometimes i find myself counting down the hours before bedtime. I feel awful admitting that but it's true!

We go through the same rituals every single day - playdoh for around 60 seconds, books for a few minutes, run around the garden and empty the plastic cups from the cupboard ad nauseum.

I also abandoned the daily walk because it upset him so much that he couldn't play in the park. It's artificial to be stuck indoors all day and really unhealthy for him.

Jesus op. I have primary age kids and I find it a nightmare. I hadn't even considered what it must be like with a toddler.
My god it must be gin o clock all day in your house. Sending sympathy your way!

So glad to read this thread. I've got a 19 month old and an 8 week old and I'm so over it now. I am very up and down and feel sad and frustrated for my daughter and just so bored myself. A few years older and we could do proper activities like puzzles and colouring but she gets bored within 5 minutes or a few years younger and they're happy laying on a playmat or in a jumperoo. At their age they just want to run around with friends exploring the world. We had a lovely little life before of playgroups and play dates and it's really made me appreciate just how much I enjoyed my life when I often felt I had to justify being a SAHM and people would comment how boring it must be. I can honestly say not at all. I miss it all so so much and like a PP said am getting worried about when it might all come back as am worried about both of our mental health and her development. Also can't enjoy the baby properly/ show him off which sucks too. Being in a baby bubble was great for a few weeks but now I want to get back to normality!

I have a 2.5 year old and an 11 month old and have been working from home too. It's been hell! The 11 month old has been ok but the toddlers been hard work. The nice weather has at least meant we could enjoy the garden some days. I do feel so bad for them both being stuck in with us

Yep, it's hard.
I have an 18 month old and (almost) 4 year old. Entertaining them both is so tough. 4 year old always wants to be played with, and it's always these mind-numbing imagination games that make very little sense and involve superheroes "smashing" and I always do it wrong so he spends the whole time saying "No Mummy, no!!"... I sound awful but it's so boring and I keep wishing I could be using my time on something productive. And any time I am doing housework, cooking, getting myself ready, etc. he is constantly nagging to be played with.
But I also feel bad that his last summer before starting school is like this. I was looking forward to a summer of adventures together. Trying to make the most of it and the time together, but some days it is such a drag.
My poor 18 month old is actually easier in some ways, but she doesn't get half as much attention as I feel she should.

I basically constantly feel like I am letting both of them down.

Yep and I miss soft play so bloody much!

It's hell, I just feel anxious and angry all the time and DD is bored out of her mind. I've had struggles in life before but this is the first time where there is nothing I can do to help myself. I just keep looking at the clock and hoping it's later.

Yeah it's not fun. It's so much better now we can go out for picnics though. We go to the woods or just big fields and kick a ball around or just run or just picnic. Breaks to day up and wears them out so worth a try

22 months at start of pandemic. Now 2yr old, 2nd week of toilet training!
Activities that last the longest: Duplo, Playdoh, playfood/pretend cooking.

Same, 2.10 DS here. The guilt has lessened as lockdown has continued as I've realized I can Pinterest toddler crafts to eternity but what DS wants is to interact with other children and go back to preschool. He's going back two mornings next week and I know he'll be much happier.

It's not the same as being a SAHM under normal circumstances, we'd normally be going all over the place to playgroup, classes, museums, seeing family etc.

One thing I'm finding hard is that we moved here recently and I have no local friends with children. I'd love someone to meet up with in the park like I see all the time in my local one.

I’m pretty much a SAHM with a just turned 3yo DD. DH is WFH but busier than ever so it’s like he isn’t here, he’s tucked away upstairs. DD would usually be at preschool 2 mornings a week which she loves, and although they have reopened, I’m pregnant and it is too risky.

In all honesty, it has been ok, but at 22 months it would have been so, so hard. We are lucky enough to have a garden and chickens, which DD loves.

At 22 months (and still now) we spent most of our time out and about - parks, playgroups, meeting up with friends & their children, the supermarket (and cafe!) - all these things helped to break the day and week up. I’m missing them now, but luckily DD is happy at home and has got much better at playing independently for (very short!) periods. At 22m I think it would have been absolutely awful.

Now restrictions have eased a little, can you get out a bit more? Woods? Beach? Our local RHS garden is back open too and we have met friends there (at a distance).

I sat up until 12 last night so that I could book a slot to visit our local National Trust place. They're letting in members and non members.

Going next Saturday. I'm living for it.

We went to the beach last week, and although it was a quiet beach with everyone being very polite with their social distancing, the change of scene did wonders for the toddler - she was delirious with joy, watching bigger children jumping in waves, and she slept wonderfully that night.

I started another thread about picnics because that's the plan from now until September. If we can get to NT places and go for picnics in place we don't usually visit, I can get through summer.

It's Autumn/winter I'm worried about. I wouldn't be suprised if no groups/soft play open this side of Christmas and a wet UK winter stuck at home doesn't bear thinking about.

I'm currently torn between reducing her nap during the day because she is going to sleep later and later in the evening but then it's such a long day already. The situation feels really unsustainable.

Could you try putting her down for a nap earlier? Mine usually naps at 11/11.30 but we went through quite a few weeks there where she needed it at 10, and it improved evenings for us