Are the people you work with your kind of people?

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

I get on with my colleagues well but they are reserved compared to me.At my old work place it was an anything goes type of work place where you could talk about literally anything and noone would bat an eyelid This is what I'm like as a person and my friends are too.Do you work with similar people to you or do you just have your workplace in common?

Not at all, nothing in common, I can't imagine socialising with any of them and I really miss working with my kind of people in previous jobs where I have made proper lasting friendships.

Yes. We're everything the PC brigade hate really, along with plenty of bad language and dark humour.
Even better when alcohol is involved.

In some ways yes. We get on brilliantly and I would say that at least two of three of them are some of my very closest friends. But they are different to me in terms of political beliefs, religious beliefs and lots of other lifestyle views and choices. In some ways I'm glad about that though. It proves that you don't need to be the same sort of person to be able to get along and moving in the circles we do, we'd probably not have crossed paths if it wasn't for work.

I'm in a very small team and we've been through a lot together. We're all interesting characters with opinions and they're all nice people, we have a lot of chats when we're all together, especially on a late shift. A couple of them do my head in sometimes, but I don't dislike anyone.

I don’t really have the same banter as my current colleagues. They’re all a bit older and it’s always felt like a bit of an effort to fit in.

Other places I’ve worked I’ve usually come away with some good pals but not here.

I’m thinking of leaving for this reason. Life’s too short.

We're everything the PC brigade hate really

What, sexist, racist and homophobic?

I don't know necessarily about "my people", as there's a large group of us who are all so different from each other. But this is the first workplace I've really felt like I fit in, and was one of the team. We can talk about pretty much anything (some of the conversations would make a sailor blush!), have a laugh, had some good social experiences, and there's some really good people here who have had my back before, and I'd do it for them in a heartbeat.

That for me is very rare - I'm a bit odd, and quiet, and at best I usually end up alone on the periphery of any social groups, and at worst have fallen foul of workplace "cliques".
Unfortunately a recent takeover of the company has completely changed the dynamics - a large proportion of the team was made redundant, several more have quit, and I've had my job role removed to be given what remains of the roles of much better suited and well-liked employees. I know that I need to leave, but even though there's not much left here to lose I'm genuinely devastated as I think I'm very unlikely to ever find a workplace that "fits" quite as well as this one.

We get along fine and have the odd thing in common, but they're not really my kind of people - however, hardly anyone is.

@DestinationFkd

Yes. We're everything the PC brigade hate really, along with plenty of bad language and dark humour. Even better when alcohol is involved.

Wow drinking and swearing? So edgy!

Yes, so much. But then they interview for social fit as well as competence etc.

Can you really not see what is wrong with this?

I work as a nurse in a big ITU, I dont socialise with people from work it just doesnt interest me I have non work friends to socialise with. I dont particularly dislike anyone I work with, I can chat to them and joke around within reason but it's always superficial stuff I suppose, I know most of their partners and kids names but that's it.

Yes, so much. But then they interview for social fit as well as competence etc.

Can you really not see what is wrong with this?

It's pretty standard isn't it? We interview for competencies but really you only fail the competency test if you say something that shows you'd be a nightmare to work with, e.g. one person argued with my boss during the interview because my boss questioned his assertion that PT workers couldn't be dedicated.

I have a mix of people who have become close friends and people I get on with day to day. There’s only a few who annoy me but then I work with a lot of freelances so a high turnover of new faces - which I like in terms of meeting new people too.

We're everything the PC brigade hate really

I actually think this is why it’s really important to take work environment into account - I’d really struggle with somewhere where people we’re racist and homophobic @DestinationFkd - but I think even more so if openly so/a badge of honour! But then they probably wouldn’t employ me in the first place....

No, not at all. I've been in my workplace 12 years and work with a large number of people. I'd say there were 2 who understand me and who I feel on a similar wavelength with. There are lots of others who I get on with and like, but where I feel that I'm completely at odds with them in terms of lives and opinions and interests. I thought I was doing quite well to find the 2 I did in 12 years there. I don't tend to be on the same wavelength as many people at all.

The place I currently work I found 'my people'! It's taken many, many years. I love them to pieces and they are the thing I miss most about lockdown lol

CountFosco, it was not the interviewing for competencies that I was questioning.

It has been shown (no sorry, I don't have links to hand) that aiming for 'social fit' in job interviews inevitably means excluding applicants of a different class or race or even sex to the majority of the incumbent workforce.

But, of course, if you've never had to navigate this yourself you're unlikely ever to have thought about it.

What I mean is the conversation isnt an easy natural flow,its hard to explain

No! They talk endlessly about how to stay slim, lose weight, stuff on Instagram etc. Where are the book-reading, globe-trotting deep thinkers that I would like to work with?

I work on my own now days but know exactly what you mean. Until my last job, I always worked with “my kind of people” in a range of roles.

However the last job I had - had barely anything in common with any of them. Found it frustrating and quite hard.

I have friends from literally every job I have worked in who I still meet for drinks or coffee etc except that one

No not at all.
I work with four other women who are all very different, we run along as colleagues but I can't image is socialising.
We are all furloughed, have no idea if we will have jobs to go back to (hospitality) and we haven't been in touch. (As far as I'm aware)

@PerditaProvokesEnmity I agree with this - and think it was the issue at my last place. Everyone was the same - mainly women - mainly yellow brick, and all sort original from the Home Counties. All fucking boring as well.

Most of them are loud extroverts. I'm much quieter. I get on great with them at work on the whole, but they are exhausting on a night out.

My team, absolutely and our manager built it that way intentionally. I like the others, and one senior manager in another team is a beautiful, fascinating person, but I find the others harder work possibly because we just don’t get the time to get to know one another.

We're a real mix of ages, characters and specialisms but everyone is fundamentally decent, friendly and capable. We recruit people who fit the ethical approach of the business.

Many are also incredibly warm and funny and I have a number of close friends among them now.

I consider myself incredibly lucky. It's been the second workplace I've had where this has been the case.

My colleagues are nasty, bitchy, poisonous women who all hate each other but club together to muster up a special kind of hate for anyone new or who happens to get promoted, any man in the vicinity and anyone who has something nice (new car, engagement ring, nice holiday etc).

Best and only positive from lockdown is that I hopefully won’t need to see any of them for the rest of the year.