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AIBU?

Are the people you work with your kind of people?

82 replies

PrincessHoneysuckle · 04/06/2020 13:58

I get on with my colleagues well but they are reserved compared to me.At my old work place it was an anything goes type of work place where you could talk about literally anything and noone would bat an eyelid This is what I'm like as a person and my friends are too.Do you work with similar people to you or do you just have your workplace in common?

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HotChoc10 · 05/06/2020 15:39

No. They're nice enough but not my people.

I had loads of really good friends at my last job so I regret moving.

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puffinandkoala · 05/06/2020 15:11

lots of them will have tv on in the background continuously in the day, even with friends over. I find that really annoying

I find it really annoying too. Definitely not just you and Lakielady.

I've had quite a few jobs over the years and had some really good teams and others less so. I wouldn't say that anyone from work has ever become a really good, lifelong friend though, perhaps because of the nature of the work I do most come from quite well off backgrounds and have well-off husbands and I don't have much in common with the people living in £2 million houses in the Surrey countryside.

That said, when I was on maternity leave, I missed my then work colleagues with whom I felt I had far more in common than my NCT group (who were also very well off, we were definitely the poor relations).

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Marmite27 · 05/06/2020 15:02

They used to be until they decided to have a relationship while both still married to other people. I’ve got no issue with divorce, but can’t abide cheating. I just can’t see them in the same light now.

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LakieLady · 05/06/2020 15:00

lots of them will have tv on in the background continuously in the day, even with friends over. I find that really annoying

I find that annoying too. I'm glad it's not just me.

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spikyplants · 05/06/2020 11:51

No, they're mostly younger than me, very serious and only talk about work. No real personalities shine through. I keep myself very much reigned in. Too many boring meetings full of jargon.

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NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 05/06/2020 09:14

Yes. But i work in a quite technical job, and people are a very educated and happy to chat about politics, current affairs, environmental issues, books, travel, sport etc. We will talk about films or an add tv program but I don't think any of us watches loads of telly.

My NCT group seem to primarily talk about tv shows (but never any sci fi, historical dramas, beauty regimes/products, and B list celebrities/instagrammers. I really struggle as I just have no interest in most of it and any attempt to broaden out the conversation goes nowhere. They seem to watch about 3 or 4 hours of tv every evening and lots of them will have tv on in the background continuously in the day, even with friends over. I find that really annoying.

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PurBal · 05/06/2020 08:02

My current office is very different from my previous one. But yes, we get on. And I got on with the last lot too.

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BobbinThreadbare123 · 05/06/2020 07:58

Not on the whole, no. I don't mind that but I am often on the periphery, as is usually the case. But - I work almost entirely with men and I miss working with women. I like most of them and we get on in general. One chap is becoming a friend though, and we natter most days.

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SpiritEssence · 05/06/2020 07:30

Yes the 2 main colleagues in work with we get on really well. Infact one has become a very good friend now and when we work together we have a good laugh. The rest are a bit older than me and are all nice to.

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BikeRunSki · 05/06/2020 07:17

Yes, the works we do attracts a particular mindset

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JustaScratch · 05/06/2020 07:09

My team are all quite a bit younger than I am so I feel a bit protective and motherly towards them. I like each of them very much, but I definitely consider them colleagues, not friends. I wouldn't want to hang out with them at the weekends!

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IjustbelieveinMe · 05/06/2020 07:05

I started a new job last November. It's the first job I have worked where I don't feel like I have gelled with anyone. There is a clique of 3 girls who I am convinced were sending text messages about me to each other when I first started. Every person in the team are friends with each other on Facebook (yes I have stalkedBlush). But my manager is a lovely person and the only reason I have stayed so far.

Now we are all working from home we have a Teams meeting every day at 3.30pm. I dread these meetings because it's the same 3 girls who take over the conversation, interrupt me when I try to ask a question, or just talk about themselves. My manager- a bloke- is too kind to direct or structure the meeting to allow everyone to get the chance to speak up. I now keep my camera turned off (I say it's because of internet issues) and mute my microphone.

I am hoping that when we return to work it will be staggered so I don't have to be in the same company as them all.
This team has caused me so much anxiety and I have had to have counselling because of it.
Like others have said, I too have remained friends with colleagues from previous jobs and have never felt this way before about working with other people.

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Livpool · 04/06/2020 21:13

I get on really well with 2 of them, pretty well with most and can't stand a couple! I think that is fairly standard!

I think the person I am closest to has become more of a real friend during lockdown as we have made a genuine effort to keep in touch and call each other. We talk about anything

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AgeLikeWine · 04/06/2020 21:11

Yes. Aviation ‘lifers’ are a different breed, and I’m one of them. We are multi-national, multi-lingual and well travelled. Many of us have been around so long that we remember the ‘good old days’ before the low-cost carriers buggered up so much of what was good about our industry.

I’m pretty institutionalised so I wouldn’t fit in a ‘civilian’ environment. I would be a fish out of water in a po-faced, politically correct public sector job.

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LettyBriggs · 04/06/2020 21:09

Not at all. My boss is a weapon of the highest order. The rest of them are nice enough but won’t miss any of them if ever I leave.

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crosser62 · 04/06/2020 21:08

Mostly yes, but there’s a lot of them.
Dark dark humour and kindness combined.
Open, funny, funny people.
We lean heavily upon each other, we support and boost each other.
We celebrate our work yet I’ve never met such humble human beings.
They are colleagues, friends, and an absolute privilege to be around.
Every one of them a hero and an amazing person.
They could save your life, ensure your comfortable and peaceful death, they could keep you from the edge of the cliff as you are about to fall off throughout the duration of one shift.
Honestly, they are my people, your people, your loved ones people, your friends as well as mine.
Love um!

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Crikey0000 · 04/06/2020 21:08

There's a couple who I can relax around, most of the are nice enough, we don't connect entirely but I like to think we respect one another. Maybe I'm deluded and they all slag me off behind my back 😏

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BayLeaves · 04/06/2020 21:02

It's a tricky one. I was once in a male-dominated corporate team where I was in my early 20s and the rest were middle-aged men. TBH I would rather not have an 'anything goes' culture in that context because it can make you feel uncomfortable if older men are making jokes about shagging and boozy nights out etc

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NoMoreFlowers · 04/06/2020 20:59

One is. The other hundred or so aren’t

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BeNiceToYourSister · 04/06/2020 20:57

Fuck no! I’m a sweary leftie feminist goth with young kids and colleagues are mostly conservative/reactionary types in their 50s/60s with a completely different outlook to mine. I find it very lonely and depressing sometimes (and they clearly think I’m a loon). It’s wonderful not to have to see them every day and listen to their bile now we’re all WFH. I really miss the camaraderie of the jobs I had in my 20s.

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billybullshitterz1n · 04/06/2020 20:54

I found my tribe in my current job. Utterly brilliant people I now consider good friends. I'm moving onto pastures new soon and one of the contributing factors was that we had all moved on to promotions and new roles. I hope to find a new tribe in my new role as you spend an awfully long time at work and those tight relationships certainly makes the experience better.

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amillionnamechangeslater000 · 04/06/2020 20:23

@PrincessHoneysuckle nearly all of my friends are work colleagues from over the years

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PrincessHoneysuckle · 04/06/2020 19:48

3 of my oldest best friends were former colleagues I miss that kind of friendship in the workplace

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MondeoFan · 04/06/2020 19:22

No one of them are. There's only like 12 of us who work there and most are moody, out of 12 of us 6 are in a senior position and not overly friendly.
Would love to have a job where everyone is nice and a laugh

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dudsville · 04/06/2020 19:20

My team is staffed with very intelligent, interesting and highly ethical people who understand diplomacy. This means we can really discuss and explore ideas. I like this very much but, although we do have a real laugh occasionally, the work doesn't call for it and by nature I'm a little more batty. I suspect this is true of a lot of my team.

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