Anyone else NOT home schooled their children?

[VelveteenBunni]

Don't get me wrong, I tried in the first couple of weeks. But with three kids and one with SN it's really difficult. I don't feel I have the capacity to educate and surely the most important thing is they are healthy and safe?

I have many friends who are WFH with a parent furloughed and they aren’t bothering because it’s difficult. They have time, resources, stuff from our school, access to devices and have still opted to do very little with their kids. it’s their call.
Everyone is handling this differently. Do I want to teach my children? No, not really. Do I feel like I should? Yes, I do.

And yet teachers manage 30 in a class and yet still get a constant bashing on here.
It's almost as though teaching is a real skill.
And obviously yabu.

Depends what healthy and safe mean though, doesn’t it?
For my child, watching Netflix all day then arriving at school in September having done nothing wouldn’t be healthy for her, at that point.

Not doing anything set by school or outwardly “academic” things like maths worksheets? Fine (if that’s driven by lack of time, impact to family harmony, resources, skill set - rather than shit lazy can’t be arsed parenting!)

Not doing anything AT ALL? Yep - unreasonable.

I expect the detail of the OP would be games, reading etc... so actually plenty.

If you’re sticking a 7yo on fortnite all day every day, that’s wrong. But there’s a lot in between that, and having multiple tutors, for example!

In some families the main aim will be to get through the day with no one getting hurt. People all have different circumstances and people can only do their best.

I just figure if I dont it'll be a lot harder for them (and me) come september. I dont do anything amazing but make an effort monday to Friday for homework to be priority - one of my kids schools are amazing and set loads of interesting accessible stuff but little one requires more imagination and help.
It's really hard, especially when working - maybe just do reading with them?

OP, depending on the age of your dc you might like to try national oak academy? (Link included to the website). It is free, and has lessons from reception to year 10. Again, depending on the age of your dc, they will be able to complete the lessons independently as the videos explain what to do, how to do it etc.

if they don't get on with that, you could try education city, which teaches through game like lessons. It has things suitable for reception to year 6 or 7.

Even a little a day will help, if your dc are older, as if they don't go back to school until September then they will have done no learning for 6 months. It might be worth trying to establish a routine again now half term is over.

all the best x

It is hard. I have a SN child, but there's only one of him, I'm a SAHP, and our school has been great at supporting us from a distance, yet it's still a bit of a struggle.

I wouldn't be comfortable doing nothing, though, as tempting as it is sometimes! Some days we do more, some days we do less, but we have to do something M-F.

Do what works for your family and your circumstances and to hell with the “you should” stuff.

In a situation as unique as this one, there is no right or wrong, you just get through it as best you can.

Children are going to return to school with such a varying degree of what they have done, I don’t envy teachers the job of sorting that out, but rest assured there will be lots of children who for different reasons haven’t been able to do the work that was set.

For DD the routine is useful, keeping her mind active has helped but with both of us working full time we haven’t been able to have much input. We’re fortunate she doesn’t need it. I’ve spoken to many friends who are taking the same view as you.

The only person who knows what your kids need is you. Don’t second guess yourself, you’re doing just fine.

Unfortunately yabu.

It’s no one else’s responsibility to ensure your children receive an appropriate education, for your situation that would normally be sending them to school. That’s not an option just now, it’s still your responsibility to ensure they receive an appropriate education, even if it’s the bare minimum.

Lots of children are still accessing education by various means, it would be massively unfair on your children to send them back to school either at the same point they were before they finished, or most likely having had regressed due to not accessing any learning.

I have 3 children, one of whom has complex SN. I need to be organised, create weekly learning plans and goals and work towards achieving this. I do this in the evening in between constant wakenings and interventions of serious self injurious behaviour.

Yes we all have different challenges, but we don’t get to stop trying, we’re parents.

We're doing lessons Monday-Friday but I only have the one to keep on track which most definitely makes it easier! It also helps that he was already ahead in most things at schoolso doing these lessons independently isn't a struggle for him.

Ds (8 yr 4) completes 3 lessons each day, maths, english and a topic such as science/spanish/art/etc. Also reading most days, and he still has ample time to waste away on minecraft and youtube! He chooses to start at about 8 am each morning and this way he is normally finished by lunch time. He hates doing lessons later in the day and just gets on with it in the morning. Often starting before I'm even up.

This sounds like quite a strict routine but I've realised that this is exactly what ds needs. He practically fell apart in the first few weeks of this because of the more relaxed way I was approaching schooling.

And yet teachers manage 30 in a class and yet still get a constant bashing on here.

I don’t doubt the skill of teachers, I don’t doubt it is a difficult job and I’m under no illusions - I’d be shit at it.

But teaching a class of 30 who are generally at the same-ish level, when that is the only thing you have to do that day is entirely different from trying to teach your own children who’s levels may vary greatly when you are also trying to do a whole bunch of other stuff unrelated to teaching is totally different. 2/3 of OP’s “class” have SN. That’s not usual either.

To add - it is also very much the case that the child in school is completely different from the child at home.

No, I’m not. I’m working full time and extra hours.
DD is Y9 so gets on with stuff by herself (as expected). I have also got a science tutor for her.
DS is Y6. Only motivated if he thinks Xbox time is available! I do need to spend time with him as he’s lazy and sloppy with details. But it’s so tiring when I’m not even up to date with my own work.

I've mostly given up here. Too many battles and arguments. The whole day turned into a screaming match, plus DH and I are trying to work. And I only have 1 child, so I'm feeling like a total failure. She needs friends to play with. Not sure what else I can do without threatening physical violence. You can't force someone to learn unfortunately. Would love to know what people suggest for kids that just aren't motivated and resist any attempt of formal learning.
Agree that learning doesn't/shouldn't be all about the academic stuff. Don't beat yourself up, keeping everyone safe and healthy is the priority. Not everyone has the means or opportunity to do more than that. Maslow's hierarchy of needs and all that.

Yes we all have different challenges, but we don’t get to stop trying, we’re parents.

Oh well done you. Want a medal?

OP is parenting her child in a way that works for them. Not everyone has the resource or capability to sit in the evenings and do lesson plans. Could you do what you do if you added in a full time job? Or an elderly relative to care for?

People have their limits. That’s someone else’s are different to yours doesn’t make you a better person/parent.

They need to be educated but it takes many forms - filling in worksheets from school is just one element. Private schools and better state schools have been teaching 5 hours a day online so the gap is just widening for kids whose parents can't or won't educate their kids. Those with sn can attend school.

A couple of suggestions:
Choose a book that will interest your dc and read a chapter together every day.
Download some audio books, and either listen together or they listen while you work.
Play board games. Orchard games make great learning ones for littles, older kids can learn lots by playing games such as scrabble, monopoly, or madlibs. (Sorry, I don’t know how old yours are op.)
Learning doesn’t have to look like school (and I say that as someone already home educating before lockdown).
And to the pp who asked, unschooling is a subset of home education, also known as autonomous or child led. The child chooses what they learn and when, rather than being led by the adult, who generally just makes the environment as conducive to learning as possible, and provides the necessary tools. (I don’t follow this philosophy, but know others that do.)

"Those with sn can attend school."

A few can. Most cannot.

In the immortal words of Billy Ocean:

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

It IS hard. Especially when you're home-schooling different age kids plus working full time, it's been a real struggle personally, but I'd never give up on my kids education.

Lots of aspects of parenting are hard, but
education is key to our DC thriving in life.

Something is better than nothing, surely you can manage at least some maths and English per day?

Remember not all education is books and academic.
I'm certainly not trying to put pressure on you, but think of the other things you have done with your kids that are educational - like cooking or being in the garden or park and noticing nature and talking about wildlife.
Even just talking about things with your kids is a form of education if you can get them to think about stuff.

I don't think some people appreciate the challenges of home schooling a child with SN. I have a child with severe autism who would normally have one to one support at school. However I cannot give him that at home becuase I also have a baby to look after with very different needs. For a lot of people it is just about survival at the moment and doing their best to keep everyone happy and fed.

Don't be hard on yourself OP, I am doing zero home schooling and there will be many other with competing priorities such as work doing the same.

Nope I've not. I am working ft from home. They are of an age where they need teaching not just given something to do. DP is out of the house for about 60 to 70 hours most weeks and I have RA. The teachers know. They don't seem too fussed. They read and have a go at a workbook occasionally but that's it.