At my wit's end- do I report?

[ChangedAgainJune]

DP is very close to his family. He is a key worker (not NHS, but mixing with people all day long). He's been going to see his extended family members all through quarantine: BBQs, drinking couple of beers inside and so on. His family members would pop in as if nothing, have dinner at ours (regular occurence before Quarantine, too), until one day I have had enough and basically threw everyone out of our house as it was getting ridiculous. Now I am a 'controling b' in his family's eyes. No matter how many times I have asked him not to go to these gatherings, I was ignored. This weekend we have all been invited to family member's b'day bbq. From what I know it could be more than 30 people from lots of different households. I have already said I am not going (once again, was accused of hating his family), DP is, of course, will be.
My question: do I report party to the Police?
All of his family thinks that Covid-19 is some sort of conspiracy and tell me they do not know anyone infected by it. Thankfully, I do not know anyone, too.
AIBU to think that gatherings should not be happening yet?

Depends whether being right means more than your relationship with your DP and his family I suppose.

I really don't think that you should report it.
I can understand why you want to though.
It sounds incredibly frustrating and stressful for you.
Maybe some one else will report it...

Mind you, no-one will know that it was you.

I'd report it, say you're a concerned neighbour.
I know several people who've had Covid-19, (luckily they've all recovered) the idea that it's a conspiracy is ridiculous!

That's what I was worried about- them finding out that I have reported them.
Not sure how I came about in my OP, but I want to report them as I really think they shouldn't congregate because of the threat of covid-19 spreading. I have family member (on my side!) working front-line NHS and my elderly parents, who I shop for and haven't been to visit properly (just quick chat on the driveway when I drop shopping, so my view might be skewed, but my DD hasn't had her B'day party last month, lots of little girls and boys missed on them too, why a grown up man can not forsake his B'day, even that it is 'a milestone'? Guests will be from all over London, some will be taking public transport.
I really do not want to report them, I just want people themselves to be a bit more aware and responsible :(

They're selfish op. I would report. No one will know it's you and if anyone asks just deny it.

Absolutely report as a concerned anon neighbour that can see what looks like a lot of people turning up to a party. Deny all knowledge.

Personally I'd wait for your DH to get fined, tell him how ridiculous he's been and then kick him out.

Yeah, I'd socially distance myself from them all....forever.
I do like to cut my nose to spite my face however. Must be difficult for you.

It’s hard to be the “uncool” one who says actually no this isn’t ok. I had to do that the other day when my five year old was invited on a play date with a few others from her class. Now I’m the wicked witch of the west.

I wouldn’t report though, no.

I can understand your annoyance OP but you don’t grass up your own family!

Thurman Not her family.

I'd grass them up.

The fact your (D)P is calling you a bitch isn't particularly nice of him.
I'd suggest he takes his stuff with him and moves back in with them.

Just don't go, no need to report it.

I'd report. It's putting you all at risk and is against the rules.

I would really struggle to be with someone who wasn’t taking this seriously.

They will most likely know it's you if you report it - the only way to cover your tracks is if you attend and call the police

@ChangedAgainJune let's say that a neighbour reports them and DP and his family all accuse you - how will you feel? will you be able to defend yourself? have you told anyone else how you feel about this, because they will certainly think you've reported them even if you don't.
I can't understand why he or his family aren't respecting your decision not to be involved in gatherings - they are not in charge of your health, you are. Tell DP you won't be attending any social gatherings but that you don't have a problem with him attending this way you'll cover yourself in case someone else reports.

I would be considering my future and whether I want to spend it with someone who calls me a bitch.

I dont think the BBQ itself is an issue. Its that you're in a relationship with someone who not only takes the opposite viewpoint and approach to you, but they have completely disregarded your views and in effect, made the decision not to isolate for you. By going to the bbqs and then home with you, he is choosing to take the risk of bringing covid into your home - a risk he knows you are not comfortable with, a risk backed by science, but he has chosen to disbelieve it and do it anyway. I would be telling him to go to the bbq and then stay at his family's. There is no point in only one of your household following the rules.

They will likely suspect it was you who reported them, which will cause a whole host of problems between you and your DP.
Is your relationship sustainable?

I would let him go and I'd pack a suitcase for him to take with him so he can stay there indefinitely.

Oh, no, DP did not call me a b**. I was just used this as a figure of speech. Absolutely never he would call me names. He is not that kind of a man. Our relationship is strong, we have children, mortgage, both working (well, he is at the moment, I am not, because of covid). No violence whatsoever.

No. You've made it clear what your position is. What would you get out of it, truly, besides the feeling you were keeping people safe.
Any smugness or vindictiveness? Not even a tiny bit? Dig deep. I know I would have to....
And think what a secret to have to keep?! Or what if somebody in that ignorant family got violent - fueled by their conspiracy theory and the belief it's their "right" to congregate - and got hurt?
Let it go.

Does he get it that he is breaking the law by going to these events? As well, obviously, as endangering his entire family and work colleagues and basically acting like a wanker?

I’d be tempted to tell him to stay with his family until he can legally come and go as he pleases.

My father was one of the 50 000 dead. It’s real all right.

Sounds like they see you as a silly little woman making a lot of drama out of nothing and should listen to their wise...
... yes report them and tell DP that if he leaves he cannot come back for 28 days. If he says that it's only meant to be 14, say the other 14 are for respite from his stupidity.

They are very selfish, however unless you want to risk splitting from your DH I wouldn't chance it. Tbh the amount of mixing in groups >6 is very high at the moment. I wouldn't risk my relationship bearing this in mind as it seems comparatively insignificant