Your career. What would you do differently if you had your time again?

[Allmytimeistickingaway]

Are you happy with how your work life has turned out? Or do you have any disappointments, would you do things differently in some way? I am very much behind in terms of any career. Combination of long term ill health, and poor choices made in panic trying to pay the bills etc.

I've now wrapped up a period of studying. I could go down several different avenues and feeling quite pressured to make good choices now as I don't have time on my side. I'm 35.

Looking for advice or tips how to make the most of my time from now on. Would be very interested to hear how others have navigated - if you have faced setbacks how you dealt with them, or conversely if you had a smooth ride what choices you made that helped.

I'd go into medicine. I'm so fascinated by it.

I wish I could do GCSEs again. I totally didn't makes any sensible choices when I chose my options. Basically picking subjects because my mates we're doing it or I liked the teacher. I wish I had thought more properly about what subjects I liked and enjoyed. At the time I probably didn't really understand what subjects I enjoyed - as in not really aware that I did or what I could 'do' with that subject.
If I could essentially start again I would.

I would have left this job when I was still training.

I had racist abuse (just Bantz ) That was week1.

He dropped me in it week2 - well, purposely set me up to fail. He wanted to give me a reality check of ‘how shit things could get’ so I wouldn’t ‘get cocky’

And was told that if he had his way he’d be fucking me and his wife on his island home.

That was week 3. And he spent most of our training time with his hands down his trousers.

Fast forward a few years and I was horrendously bullied.

And the baton was passed to someone worse when he left.

I rode it out but i no longer care about work at all. I should love it but I don’t. Not any more.

My employer turned a blind eye/lied to protect their own ineffectual arses/gave both of them golden handshakes.

Yup. I’d have made a different life decision.

I don’t know what I want to do but I’m not a spring chicken. And I am wondering if, given the current climate, if it is a case of better the devil you know.

I would love to be 13 and start all over again.

I would marry a man who wholeheartedly supported my career and didn’t persuade me to change to a more ‘family friendly’ but horrendously dull job whilst he happily stayed and thrived in my chosen profession.

OP, you're not behind. It took me 12 years to qualify in my career and I was 30 - so not far off your age.

In hindsight, I'd tell my younger self not to put myself under so much pressure and to believe in my own abilities more.

With regard to how things worked out, I am actually very happy now. I would be on much better money in London, but I'm happy about my work-life balance.

You're lucky to be wiser than 10 years ago. You might have your priorities clearer, you might have good self-esteem.

I would say, don't force yourself to work for an employer that doesn't treat you well. Don't stay in a job that is causing you enormous stress. Don't accept being underpaid and overworked. Don't work with an awful team. I've done all that, perhaps it's unavoidable, but trust your instincts to know when to leave or say no.

The best advice I'd have is not to be scared and take the opportunities. Just go for it.

I'm not unhappy in my job as a nurse, but if I had my time again I'd probably train as something else.

I thought my love for the job would overcome the problems with poor pay and conditions, but I didn't really understand how it would be to work under such a level of stress and danger each day. It makes me feel worn down. There are just not enough resources to provide what everyone needs.

I love my job - it’s a good mix of admin / business and creative work.

It’s in the construction industry and I’m always telling woman to work in this sector as it pays well, it has lots of benefits and as there are less women in these roles, they need you more than you need them.

I wish I’d had more confidence in my own abilities - didn’t really gain this till I was well into my forties
Listened less to other people including ex DP who tried to undermine me and hold me back because he was threatened by my success

I wish I'd known myself better and picked something based on what skills/personality I have rather than what I thought was important work.

I did work experience in London at the end of which I was offered a job at the company... I turned it down as my then boyfriend lived in Newcastle and I wanted to be with him.

Predictably the boyfriend is ancient history but if I’d taken the job I would probably still be at what is now a huge, very cool brand doing a much more interesting job.

Oh, and one more thing. Do not EVER think that you don't deserve something. A bonus, a new project, a pay rise, a promotion. Or that someone else can do it better than you. Or that a man can do it better than you just because. Don't let anyone tell you this sort of nonsense or patronise you. Believe in yourself and ask for more. You deserve this.

Another thing I did is I took note of professional people around me whom I admire. I took detailed notes in my head of what it is that I admire about them and I've been trying to handle my own professional life following the best of their behaviours. I also openly asked them for advice - invaluable.

I fell in to teaching like many of my contempories who finished art college and suddenly wondered what on earth to do next...We will only do it for one year... and then finding myself stuck there, not knowing what else to do.
So after 33 years, some of it on supply as it fitted in with family life I have had a complete career change.
Basically I have spent my whole career not knowing what I really want to do and even now I am in a field of work that is very alien to me working within dementia services.
Really I think deep down I should have had my own business as I have never liked hierachy in the workplace.

I wish I had followed my dream and not given up at the first hurdle. Instead I fell into a different career that I don't feel passionate about.

Thank you, it is very interesting reading a range of perspectives.

I wish had considered what jobs would provide financial security and progression. I am bright and never tried that hard - easily distracted and I haven’t achieved my potential. If I did it all again I would push myself harder and try and do something like accountancy or law.

I'm quite happy with mine. I'm 31 and in a senior position in a primary school. I often think I'm no better than a lot of my peers who haven't got promotions but the difference is that I had the confidence to go for things. It wasnt easy to get to where I am. I've faced discrimination due to possible mat leaves. I pushed against this and am glad I did. One thing that helped me was having positive female role models. My MIL and older SIL are very successful and speaking to them and even just hearing about their experiences really helped me feel more confident in my own abilities. Perhaps seek out your own role models.

I chose to move to a company which was unglamorous and not top of the market on pay prior to starting a family, because it was a much nicer place to work. Think flexible, plenty of holiday, relatively few arseholes, sensitive about mental health and family commitments.

It was, without a shadow of a doubt, a good decision. It meant my career wasn't penalised by my having a family, whereas peers at cooler places paying market leading money simply got banjaxxed.

I came to my current career late and bitterly regret not starting earlier. Child rearing etc got in the way so it wasn't completely wasted mind!
Anyway I'm here now and doing well. I've moved up and am (I believe) well thought of. I know I'm good at my job and genuinely enjoy going to work every day so don't dwell for too long on the past.

I should have taken time to figure out what I wanted to do rather than doing an English Lit degree after school because I was pressured to go to uni and it was a subject I found easy. Had no idea how to turn it into a well-paying job and have never earned much more than minimum wage. Feel embarrassed at what a failure I am especially as it's from one of the "best" universities in the country.

No. I wouldn't have done anything differently. Love my job as a hospital doctor.

I have role models, as in women I admire and see what amazing work they do (in different fields) but they are all very intelligent, sharp, and above all talented women.

I'm just well...not like that, ha. I don't have much confidence at all because I have nothing to be confident about! I'm sadly disorganised, and have dyspraxia. I am too shy to offer ideas these days, which was something I used to be confident about. But don't feel relevant anymore.

I feel like for my age I don't know enough of any one special field to be able to make a useful contribution, which makes me hesitant to ever speak up I suppose.

Nevertheless, I still need to come up with a reasonable career plan. Start small and hopefully build up some successes, which might help confidence wise.

I know I should be able to do ok if I make wise decisions.

@FulfilledRemit exactly the same!! I'm now on £11.71, my highest ever hourly wage. Where did we go wrong? If I had my time again I'd become an occupational therapist rather than the person who orders things for occupational therapists.

@FulfilledRemit

I should have taken time to figure out what I wanted to do rather than doing an English Lit degree after school because I was pressured to go to uni and it was a subject I found easy. Had no idea how to turn it into a well-paying job and have never earned much more than minimum wage. Feel embarrassed at what a failure I am especially as it's from one of the "best" universities in the country.

I did exactly the same! Was always good at English, got an honours degree and then had no idea what to do with it (fell out of love with the idea of teaching English). I'd always wanted to work with animals as a child but just got caught up the whole 'get a good degree' thing. Wasted 4 years doing it, then another 4 working in a bank! Finally got my head out of my arse and did another degree in veterinary nursing, which is what I wanted to do all along and what my heart told me to do when I was a child. Now I've been qualified for over 14 years or so. It's true what they say. If you find a job you love you will never 'work' a day in your life. I could probably have made more money in another career but I'm not interested in that (just as well!). I'm doing what my heart told me to do.