To ask if you AREN'T sending your child back to school...

[Frume]

If your childs school is opening and your child/children are in the year groups returning, what made you decide to not send them back?

I'm still undecided and have until tomorrow to decide. I've read many reasons for sending them back, but not many reasons against.

Thank you!

DS could have gone back to nursery but we chose to be able to see his grandparents instead in the back garden and I didn't want to potentially bring them nursery germs.

From the nursery whatsapp group though it seems like the kids who have gone back have had a great time, DS would have gone back if we didn't have grandparents (with a big garden) close by.

My elder dd is in reception, she's quite anxious and I feel some of the new rules in the school will make her worry. Also I'm at home with dd2 anyway and I love having my girls at home.
I know lots of people disagree with me on this point but for me the priority is that my girls see their grandparents. I feel like the government sending sending reception back first is a terrible idea, they learn through touching and playing closely together and telling me children are so low risk they can go to school but yet cant see grandparents makes no sense to me

I'm not, I was scared in the beginning but I'm increasing less convinced that Corona was The Big Pandemic we had been waiting for. However I'm not sending them as we are having a lovely time off school and I won't get this chance again to spend with them. I'm completely exhausted as still working nights but it's working well for us.

I trust our school not to traumatise the children. I work there, so I’ve seen the measures in place and it’s as safe as it can be in the circumstances. However, they can’t take all children, even in the 3 year groups they’re open for now. I’m not asking for a priority place when my kids don’t meet any of the criteria. We’ll muddle along with the home learning for a while longer.

It's too early still IMO, ease lock down slowly for the economy is one thing, people socially distancing at work, ok, but schools don't need to go back,any kids at my school have key workers as parents and IMO it's too risky.
My DD also has a non- shielding but underlying health issue too which is making me more concerned but even so I think it's too soon

At my sister's school they are being sat 1m apart and must stay looking straight forward. They can't have their own pencil cases or regular books, just the home learning packs. The teacher can't come to help at their desk. They eat lunch at desks too. To me, if that's the set up, it's not time to go back. Either it's a low enough risk to be safe to be together or its not. I'd say in those conditions the damage is more than the education.

@fourplasticrings my reception child went back yesterday. She built dens, did painting outside, did a bit of writing, had a picnic lunch and played duck duck goose. She is not traumatised. Came out beaming.

I think more than anything it depends on how the school is handling it.

Though, to be honest, I have a lot of friends with preschool and reception children, all have gone back to different settings this week and so far I haven't heard of anyone having an experience even close to the socially distanced horrors that were on the news.

Mine hasn’t gone back for two reasons, I’m vulnerable and at the moment the risk for me is too high. I have met with two people since Saturday, both had to stay away from shops etc before we could meet as if I do catch it there is a high chance I will die. So just as I don’t go into buildings and just go in the open air at a good distance its important that those around me do the same.

My son has attachment difficulties and finds school very challenging, it isn’t uncommon for him to cry for upto an hour when he gets to school, sometimes this leads to him being sick. Thats the reaction to a normal day, the reaction to an almost empty classroom, sitting alone, no outdoor time (tiny tiny playground) isn’t something I’m happy for him to experience.

If I didn’t have health worries and he was content at school he would likely go in.

Year 6. Didn't get a place. We are near a big hospital. So many parents are key workers. Previously in the first 8 weeks, I think the school only took the child if both parents were key workers.
But for the new opening, many families with one key worker, got a priority place. Which is if course right.

But meant that Ds2 didn't. Gutted.

My year 6 dd could go back. She’s been given a place but they’re scheduled in so she’s not due back until mid June and will do one week at school and one at home so three weeks in total at school.

Her brother could also go back as he has an ehcp but he won’t have his normal teacher. We’ve gone round the school to look and we’ve been told a teacher will be teaching through two adjoined classrooms. His 1:1 at the moment whilst he isn’t in is going between classes which worried me as I thought they’d have to stick to their bubbles. His 1:1 would also have to stand back from him and couldn’t comfort him when he got upset.

Given the mess track and trace is, the high numbers of infections and deaths. Plus scientists don’t seem onboard with ease lockdown, we are leaning towards no. We have another child at home who has Sen and his specialist school isn’t open for him yet and I’m still working from home.

Plus as someone mentioned the amount of people who send their sick kids into school is normally high. I know kids aren’t as much at risk but I’d prefer not to get Covid as I don’t know what the after effects would be for me and as I have two children with disabilities I want to stay as healthy as possible.

No judgement to those who send their kids back as it’s obviously right for their family but for me it doesn’t feel right especially having read the independent sage advice as well.

Because he’s happy at home (Y1) and I’m lucky I can cope ok as only work part time. I feel like the more kids are in, the harder it will be for the school to manage safely.
Also in the wider context, I’m pretty appalled by the lifting of lockdown when the death rate is still as high as when we went into lockdown, way higher than other countries that are lifting it. That scientists refused to say that risk level had gone down from 4 to 3 and Boris Johnson just went ahead with it for political reasons.
Reopening schools may not be the biggest risk we face though compared to general socialising and people not taking it seriously any more. Definitely not judging parents sending their kids in.

I am vulnerable. Having DD at home doesn't affect my life (except stress levels 😉). My anxiety and depression and mental health have taken a nose dive since lockdown and no access to my doctor or psych. I don't know what to think or whom to believe so keeping DD off is, for me, best for now.

I am a TA in a year 6 classroom and I am shocked at the measures some of you are saying your schools have brought in. Closing playgrounds, making children face the front at all times, nonsense. If this is the case then the schools actually don’t want to open and rather than just say so they are making it as unpleasant as possible so parents keep their children away. I went back on Monday and apart from the smaller class size , children having individual desks and their own tray of equipment nothing much has changed. We did normal timetable with a few fun activities thrown in. We used the playground as normal at break time and I took the group up to the field at lunchtime for a picnic and they played football ( no tackling). They did PE and played dodgeball. The children washed their hands when they came in to school in the morning and at frequent points of the day. The school have also supplied a small bottle of hand sanitizer to year 6’s. Some of them said they had been nervous about coming back but all of them left school happy and excited to be back.

My reception child is staying home. He doesn’t want to go back, is happier at home and a bit anxious about germs. It wouldn’t be the same as before, and there’s not that much longer left of term for him to get used to it. Plus my 3 year old would be very lonely if his brother went back to school, as nothing for him is open yet.

I was worried for my reception child who doesn't deal with change well. She is in a different classroom, different teacher, couple of children she knows in her bubble, others she doesn't.

She came out smiling and chatting about her day, excitedly telling me she has her own desk and pencils and activitys and a 'magic' bin that they can operate with their feet. It was like a big adventure and although I'm well aware of the risks I felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders that she managed it and even enjoyed it.

The teachers have done a fantastic job, they are the experts in supporting children, I am so grateful.

If your school is making this traumatic for young children they're doing it wrong

I think it depends on the school and their approach.

Our school is run by a 'can do' head and the children have gradually been returning this week and loving it. She has pointed out to parents that they have had a large number of keyworker children in (local hospital is large and biggest employer in the area) and during the whole period NO ONE at the school not one teacher or child has had the virus! They have used good hand cleaning and good practice. They are not taking undue risks but not alarming the children either. The main problem she has is lots of staff are worried about returning some understandably and others just anxious.

If your school is run by a 'cannot do' head or alarmist then don't send them back. If you are shielding etc don't sent them back and wait and see. They may also not have the space/teachers may not be working in school but shielding etc so some schools cannot open YR Y1 and Y6.

We each have our own personal decisions to make - life is usually like that so do what is right for you and your children. Mumsnet tends to be full of alarmist individuals who love to ramp up the fear and forget that for the vast majority of people the virus is not deadly.

I'm sending my son back next week, but I'd say half the class won't be going back. Main reasons I've picked up are:

• Older sibling at home so don't want one in without the other
• Can easily work from home around the kids (I'm WFH full time and I can't!)
• It's only 6/7 weeks, what's the point?
• A few panicked parents who think we're going to be able to stay in our houses until there is a vaccine!

I do really think it also depends on what your school/head is like. Ours is an extremely nurturing school with excellent head. I 100% trust that she and the teachers will create as positive an environment as possible. Seems a stark contrast to other primaries where headteachers have been actively putting off parents sending their kids in and making it sound awful. I may have been more persuaded to keep him at home if that was the case for us.

As said above, I'm learning towards them being able to see grandparents instead.

Our school sent a long email with pictures attached. Pretty much what everyone else has said their school is doing.

Own clothes, packed lunch, sat at a desk and everything they need with them. I'm a little concerned with the drop off as I have to stay in my car, drop them off, they get taken by a TA or teacher to their waiting point where they have to stand 2m away from anyone else.

Timed toilet times is making me anxious and the fact that my reception child may have to sit at a desk for a large proportion of the day. She just doesn't stay still, ever. So I think that would be hard for her.

Yes @Typohere, we all have our own personal decisions to make, except for the teachers who have to go back. Perhaps the schools with the harsher measures are trying to protect their staff. It's all fine while you can have a picnic and PE lesson outside. I want to know what an entire rainy day looks like.

I feel very sorry for teachers who are anxious. Our 1:1 said that a lot of teachers are anxious about going back. Some aren’t well. We think our son’s teacher has Covid as our 1:1 is a close friend of his and says he has symptoms and is very up and down.

we had one go back yesterday, he loved it, just seeing his friends faces again was great for his mental health. his friends are in his same bubble and they are restricted to only that bubble (which is fine as his friends are all in it) but in the bubble there isn't much difference, class tables more far apart and every other seat in the dining hall and only one section of the playground (a netball court) but there isnt social distancing within the bubble. no lonely squares only one child can go in.

"Traumatic"?

Can someone please explain what definition of "trauma" they're using that encapsulates not being able to share pencils?

@Pluckedpencil

At my sister's school they are being sat 1m apart and must stay looking straight forward. They can't have their own pencil cases or regular books, just the home learning packs. The teacher can't come to help at their desk. They eat lunch at desks too. To me, if that's the set up, it's not time to go back. Either it's a low enough risk to be safe to be together or its not. I'd say in those conditions the damage is more than the education.

this is not a good school set up. more damaging, the school should just be honest and say we don't want them here because there is no reason for it to be like this. its the opposite here, they have to bring a pencil case from home, no sharing things from school. teacher has come to their desk, just not as often (according to child). they can turn their heads.

I think its def dependant on school whether its best for a child to come back. our one seemed keen to have them back and you can tell with how the kids are being treated. 80 percent have returned, other schools I have heard about have actually messaged their reluctance and made it sound traumatic and only a few people have returned. its abou making th best out of a bad sitauiton really.

Ds’s year isn’t included but dd is year 1 so she is. Dd is autistic and would not understand why school is so different, she would want to hug her friends and TA. She has also regressed a lot during lockdown and has begun biting us again through frustration so I’m worried she would bite at school too. She is very sensory so licks and chews things (which has also increased lately) so I’m worried what she could pick up.
School also announced year 1 can go back and then days later said they’d had a huge response from parents who wanted kids in the allowed year to go back and they can’t accommodate so many so can only parents who are required back at work send their children and parents who are still at home can we keep our children home too. So it was a big announcement that school then revoked anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️