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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please tell me about your sex life during lockdown.

87 replies

Mummypig2020 · 02/06/2020 21:53

I’m feeling crappy and sexually frustrated. Me and Dh have only had sex once since lockdown. 3dc and the older two who haven’t been going bed until late has completely ruined it for us. Dh just can’t get in the mood 😑😑😑

And now he’s moaning it’s too hot.

Please tell me I’m not the only one with the lack of sex life atm.

OP posts:
catfeets · 02/06/2020 23:48

Barely happening. My DP is absolutely shattered from working. His job is way more intense than usual (too many pricks setting fires, having bbq's or burning garden waste that gets out of hand). We have a 4mth old who conveniently wakes up the minute we start anything and to be honest, I can't be arsed anyway.
We had sex for my DP's birthday last month and it's mine in a few days so we might do it if we're not too tired. I haven't really been bothered since the baby came along and we're stressed out with the neighbour from hell and the idiots buying my DP's house who are messing us around.

Magicpaintbrush · 02/06/2020 23:49

We have a DD with sleep/anxiety issues who (despite us trying literally everything) has been sleeping in our bed since Christmas, and so DH is in the spare room. Prior to lockdown we had been doing it during the day when she was out at school - since lockdown, not once, we have literally zero privacy. It's absolutely shit. Just hoping she starts sleeping back in her own bed permanently so DH can come back into his own actual bed Sad.

OutComeTheWolves · 02/06/2020 23:51

Much much less than usual. Dh even mentioned trying for another dc the other week- something he had previously been very very against. I'm fairly sure he only suggested it because he wanted to put sex back on the table so to speak!

Donkeytail · 02/06/2020 23:53

Gone massively downhill here. Both dh and I are way busier than normal with work, the kids are obviously home all the time. There just isn't time and when there is a small window of time we are both too tired to even think about it.

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 02/06/2020 23:54

We're still at it every other day or everyday. Despite being 8 months pregnant, I think we're making the most of it before baby arrives!

EmotionalHangover · 02/06/2020 23:56

DP works for the NHS, he’s extremely stressed. On average we’ve had sex once every two weeks. At first I took it personally, I am WFH and my stupid brain just didn’t understand why he felt that awful he couldn’t touch me. Honestly don’t know what was wrong with me. He had to sit down and explain to me. I’m okay with it now because he needs the space he needs. At least when we do have sex it’s damn good. It’s just frustrating because he’s one sexy man and I have a really high sex drive. I’d say thank god for sex toys but even they are boring me now. Realised after the 6th orgasm in one long boring day that i just need the man. But I’ll wait because it’s important that I don’t put pressure on him.

pumpkinpie01 · 03/06/2020 00:08

@GrandTheftWalrus so sorry to hear that , hope you're coping ok .

howlatthetrees · 03/06/2020 00:17

Basically every day here, I’ve fell pregnant in lockdown so there’s been lots of it!.

Wineandpyjamas · 03/06/2020 00:21

Hahahaha! Pretty much nonexistent. Me and DH are going through a rough patch anyway but we had a rather nice morning session a couple of days ago. First time in a few months easily.

But then my libido sucks and he’s going through a midlife crisis so...

TheGinGenie · 03/06/2020 00:33

It's apparently illegal for me to have sex now, as someone who lives alone. Not that this will actually stop me.

StayinginSummer · 03/06/2020 00:34

Living with DH and we were separating before lockdown. He’d been having multiple hook ups, hence the separation. He still is... although he’s cut down after I practically begged him not to risk my health by his libido!

So he’s had loads of sex. And I’ve had zero sex. My confidence has been severely knocked, I’m growing older, I tried a couple of dates before lockdown and it was so depressing. All the men wanted someone younger. I now have to live in close proximity to DH who sadly is still very attractive, but obviously a bit of a cheating asshole, and am not sure I’m ever going to have sex again!

Help!

Moonshinemisses · 03/06/2020 00:40

We have 4 teens in the house & manage it 3/4 times a week. You've just got to start early. Mine don't get up till gone 10am so we wake up early
We've also mixed it up a bit, garage, laundry room etc.

supercilioussal · 03/06/2020 00:40

Well, it won’t take long to tell you, don’t even bother putting the kettle on!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 03/06/2020 00:42

I realised last week that I haven't had sex for two years Sad since DH couldn't after starting chemo. I will probably never have sex again which is really sad, I'm only in my early 40s.

OneJump · 03/06/2020 00:43

Non existent. Teens never go to sleep and one of their rooms is right next to ours.

PumpkinP · 03/06/2020 00:43

I haven’t had sex for 3 years so no difference here, I am single so sex right now would be illegal anyway Confused

Sugartitss · 03/06/2020 00:50

I’ve had sex twice in lockdown. Last time was April 8th.....

LunaNorth · 03/06/2020 00:56

Very nice, thank you.

DazedWifelet · 03/06/2020 01:04

Married almost 20 years. 2 kids - late teens. Averaging twice weekly since lockdown, less than before. My fault because this pandemic is making me very anxious and not wanting to do it😕

BankofNook · 03/06/2020 01:40

A lot more than usual. DH regularly travels as part of his job but is now working from home for the foreseeable future and I don't have school run, my mental load isn't as big, and I'm bored on an evening once the DC are in bed so we tend to "Netflix and chill" Wink

JingsMahBucket · 03/06/2020 01:53

@Magicpaintbrush why can’t your husband sleep with you and your daughter? Is the bed not big enough?

GrandTheftWalrus · 03/06/2020 03:27

@pumpkinpie01 thanks, just getting on with it.

sparkli · 03/06/2020 03:48

@curtainsforme

*Why do teenagers stop a sex life? Can't you just hold the noise down a bit?

You don't have them yet, do you?

I HATE having sex when mine are in the house. I am aware of every single movement and noise. I can't relax enough to enjoy it and when I do orgasm I have to stifle it so much it's just not really worth the effort.*

This 🙌

I am honestly so relieved to find I'm not the only one who feels this way. I just can't relax. 4 teenage DC still at home. We've had sex twice since lockdown.

SimonJT · 03/06/2020 07:58

More, but only because before we could only have sex on a Friday, he used to stay over Thursday night and we don’t work Fridays, so we took advantage of my son being at school.

There was absolutely nothing for the first week, he didn’t even sit too close on the sofa, he was worried by the idea of having sex with a child in the flat. Now that he’s feeling relaxed we have sex most days.

NeedToKnow101 · 03/06/2020 08:52

@curtainsforme - I do have a teen; DS is 16. We live in a flat but our bedrooms aren't adjacent to each other and he sleeps in until 11 every morning at the moment, so we do it in the morning with the door shut.

Our brilliant bed (called hiphop from Bensons for Beds) doesn't make a sound and we keep the noise down. Sometimes I do a test and stand outside the door while DP makes sex noises. Can only be heard with ear to the door.

The neighbours above us, however, blimey!!!