To feel very upset

[MadameBee]

Ok so please be kind I am struggling with this a lot.

We have very close friends, a couple I was originally friends with and then my DH became friends with and ended up being our best man.

BM is clearly struggling withi Lockdown and and has become increasingly aggressive with me on anything I post on FB. He loves Boris and I do not and am very happy with KS.

Anything I have shared recently he has been absolutely brutal and rude towards me calling me stupid and it has really upset me and made me feel bullied, he has challenged females on my FB but not males.

He has now deleted me and I feel so upset. His wife is one of my best friends.

‘Just memes’ ‘not on my soap box’. Actually you are absolutely on your soap box, and in the worst possible way, often these things have little or no basis in fact. Just don’t share them. You reap what you sow when you decide to share politically motivated content.

Even the things that people don't realise are provocative are annoying me.

The WOMEN check your white privilege from white men and rich white women like brene browne is infuriating me right now. My whole life, whether by voting or emailing politicians, everything I've spoken up about is to benefit women who have been put at a disadvantage by parenthood costing them more than it costs fathers. In terms of their career, their freedom. I've posted and donated to women's aid so regularly and all my male ''friends'' (and most of my female friends too) have ignored everything to do with women's rights. And now, this same collective who happily ignored all women's issues whether they be to do with safety, equality, freedom, childcare, now they are telling me with my 10 quid an hour job to check my white privilege. Why do they not check their own male privilege and help women. They have ignored that forever. They want to pin ''privilege'' and ''entitlement'' on to women
Another thing that we're to blame for apparently!!

And this check your white privilege is a main stream view right now. But I think omg you thick shit when a woman posts it and I think you fucking sexist tosser when a man posts it. Happily ignored deeeeeeeeeply entrenched sexism for decades.

Never use Facebook as your political soapbox. You’re inevitably going to get strong opinions which oppose your own. Just check on his wife; is she ok?

Him being aggressive is absolutely not ok.

I will say though that I deleted my aunty off facebook because she kept sharing memes that I strongly disagreed with and didn't want to get in an argument on fb over.

He sounds like a bit of a jerk - it's not ok to be rude and aggressive even if you disagree with someone's political views.

But equally, it sounds like you're being passive aggressive and inflammatory in what you're posting. It may be 'just memes', but if those memes are ridiculing and criticising BoJo or the Tory Party, then that's every bit as hostile as people posting rants. By posting these type of things, you're openly deriding anyone who supports them - knowing that he is a supporter, and continuing to post these type of things, he probably feels that you are deliberately goading him - he's probably taking it quite personally.

I don't think his response is appropriate, but I don't think you should minimise your part in this either.

This is why, for the most part, I keep politics away from my social media. I have friends who are continuously posting aggressive rants and to be honest it's just a bit tiring, and can be quite offensive. A healthy debate is one thing, and conversation should be encouraged, but a lot of these political rants or memes come from an aggressively one-sided position that doesn't encourage respectful debate, so the responses provoked will either be applause and agreement, or hostile defence.

Think about what you want to achieve by posting these type of things. If it's to clean out your friend list to only those who agree with your point of view, or to antagonise anyone with an alternate perspective, then fine - carry on with what you're doing. If you want to air your viewpoint, and have a calm and respectful forum for discussing alternative views, then maybe consider changing your approach.

Is it only me who finds the idea of hiding your political views a bit nuts?
Yes it's just you. I don't hide my political views but I don't advertise them either. Like many people, I don't align to one party or one ideology and find people who do quite intolerant. I'm perfectly capable of having calm discussions about any of these issues if they come up but I don't seek them out

Stop posting about politics on social media

I’m also surprised so many people think OP shouldn’t mention politics - is this just on FB or in general? When should women discuss politics?

OP I can see why you’re upset - however at least you now know he’s a misogynist and can avoid him. Hope you can still keep in good terms with your friend though.

Facebook is not the place for political statements/opinions as its the quickest way to lose real life friends but as he has deleted you now then the problem is solved. Regardless of how innocent your post may have been you'll find most of the idiots spoiling for a FB fight are only skim reading and picking out the bits relevant to their argument so context goes out of the window thus leaving 2 idiots arguing on social media with an audience unable to decide who the idiot is.

In my defence he also shares strong opinions on FB, about smacking and Brexit and suchlike.

By posting memes that presumably take the piss out of the opposing party and party leader you're not being as harmless as you think. You're bound to piss people off and he's probably done the better thing by deleting you.

It's only Facebook, don't let it ruin your day

I would delete you too.

How is it a defence that he does it too? That’s illogical.

And either you’re only posting light hearted memes or also you’re posting strong opinions, It can’t be both.

I strongly suspect the memes you post do contain strong opinions. The two of you need to agree to disagree, if it appears you’re a raging leftie and he’s taking offence at the stuff you’re posting then it is best he doesn’t folllow you and you don’t discuss politics. So he’s done the right thing.

When should women discuss politics?

I think you’re elevating it a bit to say she’s “discussing” politics, when she’s posting memes that cause offence on Facebook.

Raging leftie 🤣🤣

No I am not, just not a fan of current establishment.

Most of what I post is satire or humourless and most of the people on my FB are of similar opinions to me, it’s not constant and I never share personal attacks on people and have completely avoided the Cummings thing.

Humourless = humorous - depending on your take on it I guess.

I'm surprised that you didn't block him the first or at the latest the second time he was rude. I don't mind a lively argument with someone, but if they can't defend their views without being aggressive and offensive then why interact with them at all? You don't need this sort of idiot in your life; if that makes life difficult with his wife, I'm afraid that may be a price that has to be paid. But maybe you can tacitly agree just to meet up with her on her own in future?

most of the people on my FB are of similar opinions to me
That's what you think

Stop posting about politics on social media

Nah - post what you like on Social Media but don't put up with people bullying you and so on. Delete delete delete

If your FB is full of left wing anti-Government posts and he's a Tory, it's your choice to post what you do and his choice to delete you. I would delete you on FB too, if I had it.

@sawollya

Even the things that people don't realise are provocative are annoying me.

The WOMEN check your white privilege from white men and rich white women like brene browne is infuriating me right now. My whole life, whether by voting or emailing politicians, everything I've spoken up about is to benefit women who have been put at a disadvantage by parenthood costing them more than it costs fathers. In terms of their career, their freedom. I've posted and donated to women's aid so regularly and all my male ''friends'' (and most of my female friends too) have ignored everything to do with women's rights. And now, this same collective who happily ignored all women's issues whether they be to do with safety, equality, freedom, childcare, now they are telling me with my 10 quid an hour job to check my white privilege. Why do they not check their own male privilege and help women. They have ignored that forever. They want to pin ''privilege'' and ''entitlement'' on to women
Another thing that we're to blame for apparently!!

And this check your white privilege is a main stream view right now. But I think omg you thick shit when a woman posts it and I think you fucking sexist tosser when a man posts it. Happily ignored deeeeeeeeeply entrenched sexism for decades.

Eh?

@cheesyrats, I was going to explain that further but actually, it's all in the original post! Sick of women being told to check their privilege.

Erm - I think you are on the wrong thread 🤣

I have had similar issues with a
Relative of mine: they commented on my post (a meme that took the piss out of Cummings) saying that I’m stupid and immature and anti British(!) and not long after deleted their rant. I think another relative of ours told them to stop being a dickhead.

You’ve done nothing wrong posting what you have- it’s your Facebook and and as long as it’s not pro facist or similar post what you like. It’s not your responsibility if he takes it personally. He might have deleted you because someone (his wife?) told him that if he can’t say something nice and if he’s that wound up by you to unfollow or delete you. Don’t get het up by it. I’m a bit and at people on this thread blaming you for his outburst. It’s not your fault he had a strop.

@Brefugee

Stop posting about politics on social media

Nah - post what you like on Social Media but don't put up with people bullying you and so on. Delete delete delete

Agree with this.