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Original poster

Lockdown ending - feeling depressed

156 replies

knickerthief1 · 31/05/2020 20:24

Is anyone else finding it hard to adjust to the idea of returning to a more normal life or AIBU? I feel like maybe I'm losing the plot! I've always had a good social life and an active life in general. I really thought I would struggle badly with my mental health during the lockdown but I've found I've adapted to it very well and have hardly left the house in the last 10 weeks. Now things are changing I can feel my mood plummeting. I've been working from home for the duration.

OP posts:
Ipadipod · 31/05/2020 22:35

Glad it’s not just me, I feel that this has been so monumental that to just slip back onto the treadmill and stress of the commute would be a shame. I can’t really explain it but I am sad that I can’t make changes to improve the work/life balance. I have really enjoyed the slower pace and lack of daily work stress.

Ted27 · 31/05/2020 22:37

@knickerthief1

personally I'm more than happy to get back to my normal, but I recognise a lot of the feelings being expressed here from an earlier point in my life.

Why not take this as an opportunity to re-evaluate your life and start to make changes?

Before I adopted my son I spent my holidays in various remote parts of Africa, usually deserts. With each trip I found it increasingly difficult to adjust back into city life and the work treadmill. So after a lot of thought and planning I got off the treadmill.
It didnt happen overnight, I still live in a small city, but decided I was never going to commute to work, not go after promotions, not go after a bigger 'better' house.
I live in a bog standard Victorian terrace, its big enough, I work part time, I earn enough. No I can't afford luxury foreign holidays every year, but we do well enough with UK holidays. I don't buy expensive clothes or run a car. This means I can indulge my love for theatre and live music. Three years ago I achieved one of my long term goals and got an allotment - its kept me sane during lockdown.
It probably took me 10 years to get where I wanted to be, small changes along the way but I have arrived at a balance that suits me.

Theres no reason why you cannot make more permanent changes to your life, or find the compromises that suit you and your family.
You dont have to get out there until you are ready, Good luck, I hope you can find that new normal

Staysafer · 31/05/2020 22:37

Lockdown isn't ending - some aspects of it are being reduced but unless your employer is forcing you back to work, there is no need to change your behaviour and indeed it is much safer if we continue to socially distance as much as possible, avoid shops, busy places and public transport.

Rhodri · 31/05/2020 22:38

I’d be happy to go out and socialise again if the threat was over. But it isn’t. There’s no cure. There’s no vaccine. People are still dying. Lockdown is only ending because of economic pressures and because people won’t tolerate it any more. Not because it’s safe to go out now. So I’m very cautious and even though places are reopening I will continue to stay at home.

Changedforthisman · 31/05/2020 22:40

It still won't feel remotely normal for me until I'm travelling into work, and that's not happening this year IMO because commuting into London is just not going to be safe for a goodly while

I’m 🤞🏻 this won’t be until 2021. I’m loving working from home. And I NEVER thought I’d say that

All my life I’ve suffered from FOMO and attended everything....

ilikebooksandplants · 31/05/2020 22:41

I am feeling slightly anxious about coming out of the bubble of lockdown and things not being ‘normal’. I’ve been going into work every single day so I’m still quite knackered, and I don’t relish the thought of everywhere getting busier again and it just all being so much harder work because of social distancing and the increased traffic of people.

Toothsil · 31/05/2020 22:42

I'm dreading it ending. I've really enjoyed it and felt so safe at home with DH and DD.

nancyclancy123 · 31/05/2020 22:43

I feel the same Sad I’m back to work tomorrow and my autistic dd goes back to school. I work in the same SEN school that she attends.
The last 10 weeks has made me rethink our lives. I was absolutely dreading being at home and cut off from our routine, but now I’m dreading reverting back.
My dd has been so much calmer for not going to school, being stuck in the car for 40 mins there and back and for not following her EHCP/Curriculum shite.
I feel sick about going in tomorrow, not for myself but for her. I know if she settles ok, it’ll be fine, just can’t wait for tomorrow to be over!!
Obviously I don’t want people ill/dying from the virus and I want it to be gone but it’s really made me prioritise what’s important!

Davespecifico · 31/05/2020 22:43

For me. It’s not that I’ve adjusted to being home, it’s that I don’t want to be part of the next herd.
I’ll go back to work if I have to, but I’m not planning to do anything that puts me and my family in danger.

Cocobean30 · 31/05/2020 22:44

I do think it has taught people to appreciate the simple slower pace of life life. It makes me nostalgic for a time before smart phones and Netflix (ironically as they’ve been so important for everyone during lockdown) I guess because it reminds me of when I was younger and carefree and could read or draw all day with no responsibilities, when there was f all on tv with only a few channels, so you found pleasure in other simple things. A lot of people have been forced to do this as a replacement for social events, awful long commutes, rushing around everywhere to school/work/appointment/clubs etc. I really hope employers allow more flexibility with WFH, maybe even 4 day working weeks!! I’m lucky that my organisation has been completely flexible for years.

Mimilamore · 31/05/2020 22:46

I am very hesitant about getting back to 'normal' Another introvert here and I have felt very safe not being allowed to do much. I've enjoyed being intrepid and problem solving with what I already had.
I retired during this and am so glad not to be returning to work. Only my sheltered husband and me and it has been like an extended camping holiday.
No urge whatsoever of going to the shops or joining crowds, quite happy just mixing with a few friends and family doing the fairly solitary things I enjoy.

Mrhodgeymaheg · 31/05/2020 22:48

Think of it this way - the weather has been amazingly idyllic for almost the whole time we have spent away from one another. Imagine if it had been a slightly warmer version of the utter shit we had for the winter, and how differently you would feel.

Good point. I have found lockdown hard as I have had to WFH FT and had one year old to look out for and a 5 year old I have been trying to teach too. I also had a bereavement which was covid related. I did miss the office and have found it all so stressful, but now the kids are going back I am really apprehensive about it all.

I really envy the people who have been furloughed this whole time. One thing I could have really done with is having time to myself and to have given the kids attention they deserved, but both DH and I have worked, so they have suffered too. Even though it has been hectic, I am still not keen to go back to things before - it was crazy busy. I am looking forward to working without constant background noise and interruption though.

Who knows, we may be in lockdown again this winter. At least we will be more prepared for it and it won't be such a shock.

lilgreen · 31/05/2020 22:57

I feel the same. I’ve really enjoyed the simple life. Planning on keeping as much of it as I can.

Keha · 31/05/2020 23:03

I've been on mat leave, but I think I have quite enjoyed the slow pace of life, no pressure to do anything or go anywhere really. Just looking after the baby, pottering around, watering the plants etc (my partner has worked full time in a key worker role so it hasn't meant I've seen more of him). My mum has said the same, I think we are quite quiet , introverted people who can get stressed by having a lot on normally - although to other people we seem social and active. I also like not having shops open all the time, not being able to get what I want whenever etc, having to be a bit more patient. I think it sorts of takes the pressure off. Not to say it has all been great, I have been lonely at times.

BlushPeonies · 31/05/2020 23:05

I feel a bit weird about lockdown ending. Firstly the 10 weeks has gone by so quickly that I am finding it hard to accept I have been on lockdown since March and it is June tomorrow... it feels like it has only been like 3 weeks. I haven't been in a shop for 12 weeks. I have just stayed home and gone for walks.

I also feel like the world is reopening up quicker than I can get my head around. I think this whole experience has been quite stressful and we are expected to go back to normal without acknowledging how damaging it will have been for peoples' mental health. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it and I'm sure when I start going out more I'm sure I'll adjust quickly.

emmylousings · 31/05/2020 23:10

Surely if you feel like you have seen new ways of being during lockdown, you can come up with ways of trying to sustain these as it lifts? Review life / work / commute stuff. Think about thinning out relationships which are not satisfying; work on getting better at saying No to things. There are ways people could learn about themselves and alter their lives for the better as a result of Covid and we should embrace that.

StayinginSummer · 31/05/2020 23:13

Yes definitely @emmy I for one want to keep my life more simple from now on. I’ve realized all the traveling was crazy. I’m also not going to invest so much in some relationships, and also be nice to make new ones!

Another thing it has taught me. The old 80/20 rule. It is so true. We get 80% value of the things we do 20% of the time. And spend 80% doing things that only give us 20% value. I want to cut down that 80%.

Wincarnis · 31/05/2020 23:14

I am enjoying lockdown. It has been great for introverts. Plus I live in a city that is usually popular with tourists, and it’s so much nicer without them

kerrymucklowe2020 · 31/05/2020 23:15

Agree with Blush. Am not convinced it's safe enough to 'come out of Lockdown' yet, especially as the press have been reporting on how many people have gone to beauty spots / beaches etc.
I do hope we don't get a "second wave" but I wouldn't be surprised if we did have some sort of ( backlash?) As a result of "swarms of people congregating at beauty spots" etc

Original poster
knickerthief1 · 31/05/2020 23:18

I am planning changes post Covid definitely. My current plan is to only agree to one social event a month. I'm not sure what's happening with my job right now though. The boss sent around a questionnaire about returning to work so is obviously thinking about it. I'm hoping I can maybe work at home 2 or 3 days a week when the office opens. The thing is that I maybe like wfh because my family are with me and close - I'll maybe hate it when they're all back at school / college /work. My eldest has ASD and constant worry about her is a normal part of my life - it's been lovely for us to be home together 24/7 and she's been calmer too.

OP posts:
FrappuccinoLight · 31/05/2020 23:23

Same.

I work one day a week in a key worker role and have enjoyed daily exercise walks and once a week food shopping trips. But other than this I have enjoyed lockdown life within my family unit of 4 at home. Obviously I appreciate the critical situation behind this lockdown and my heart goes out for those who are mourning the passing of loved ones or have endured financial hardship due to this virus. But fortunately my personal situation has not included this and I simply have enjoyed withdrawing from the stresses, obligations and social requirements of ‘normal’ life and it has confirmed to me that as outgoing as I can be, I am definitely an introvert and home bird at heart. I love the calm (in between the family bickering and arguments!) and simplicity of our new home routine, and would secretly be more than happy not to have to jump back upon the social treadmill of my large extended family and handful of small friendship groups.

I’m definitely not looking forward to our daily life returning to normality as and when this needs to happen. But I will, for the sake of my husband and kids, who I know will welcome a return to wider social interactions and the eventual return to office and school.

StayinginSummer · 31/05/2020 23:23

My eldest has ASD and constant worry about her is a normal part of my life - it's been lovely for us to be home together 24/7 and she's been calmer too. Same here!

I have dedicated so much time to opening up the world for my child with SN, travel, school, different environments. It has really benefitted him. However it IS quite a lot for me to manage, and for my child to cope with, so for once it is has been like taking the time to just breath... no outside demands for my child. And they are thriving and have done more academic work than they did at school for the whole year!

Original poster
knickerthief1 · 31/05/2020 23:31

My daughter has been home educated for the last year but we have had to work - so she's done online schooling. Whilst it was the best thing for her it's come with guilt and worry about her being home alone a lot. Fortunately she's finished secondary school now - hopefully she will go to college in September. It's been lovely to see her calm and happy

OP posts:
JKD1982 · 31/05/2020 23:31

I have really enjoyed spending quality time with my husband and not having to feel obliged to do things or see people. I am missing friends and family but feel safe at home now and used to it.

Once we can start going back into shops and spending time around others we don’t know, I’m not sure if I’ll feel safe?

thecatsabsentcojones · 31/05/2020 23:33

I can see both sides, on one side it’s been lovely being less busy, our lives are pretty relentless and it’s tiring. On the other side this pandemic has seen my husband working eighteen hour days and not being himself when he is home, and that’s adding a lot of pressure. He needs time off before burning out so I’ll be glad if we see the end of the pandemic but horrified by the thought of any potential second spike.