Lockdown ending - feeling depressed

[knickerthief1]

Is anyone else finding it hard to adjust to the idea of returning to a more normal life or AIBU? I feel like maybe I'm losing the plot! I've always had a good social life and an active life in general. I really thought I would struggle badly with my mental health during the lockdown but I've found I've adapted to it very well and have hardly left the house in the last 10 weeks. Now things are changing I can feel my mood plummeting. I've been working from home for the duration.

chicchicchic

You have just demonstrated your total ignorance of how depression or mental health issues work - well done. I hope it never happens to you or someone you love.

Your financial or any other objective advantages have sod all to do with feelings like this.

Please ignore this idiot OP.

I quite understand how you feel - I also feel a bit weird and a bit fearful. It is not really surprising though.
We are being asked to adapt - on a regular 3-6 weekly basis - to a completely different way of living. And at each, slightly different set of life "rules" being applied, the one consistent thing is that these different stages all involve the normal, life-affirming personal interactions which are essential to good mental health being denied to us.
So quality time with family and friends, hugs, feeling free to choose each day how we spend our leisure time, etc etc

It would be amazing if we were not all a little discombobulated.

I'm dreading the commute back to school/work racing against the clock in the mornings

I am conflicted - we have really missed our friends, restaurants, pubs, the gym etc. In normal life, we don't get through a week without meals out and dinner parties.

But I have loved, LOVED the pared-down pace of life. Waking up without an alarm, minimal work stress, no sitting in traffic. I have never had such good quality sleep since pre-children.

Feeling really down here too. Have loved the slower pace of life and quieter world. Lots of family time and new experiences. We are all back to work and school tomorrow and after spending all day ironing, washing and cleaning ( like a normal Sunday) I am feeling desperately sad and my heart is heavy. Not sure how I am going to get through the next few days

No one has to start socialising immediately. Just ease back into it if you want to

It’s not that though. I’ve socialised this weekend and it’s been fine. It’s just missing the enforced self isolation, the lack of constant deadlines, social engagements, pressure. When you HAVE to not go out it’s much easier.

And it was so quiet. I live in London and the roads and streets were peaceful, I could see the stars at night....and the increased sense of community was wonderful. Everyone mucked in together

Dreading stressful work and school mornings again

Casiloco

You know nothing about my mental health or that or my loved ones. What assumptions are you making? The op can ignore my comments if she or he wishes that's fine but it's not your place to tell her or him to ignore me.

For everyone wishing this deathly, tragic, enforced break from reality can go on forever (on full pay or subsidised pay or in a world where pay doesn't actually matter) there are other people who cannot wait for things to move forward. Doesn't make me a nasty fucker or immune from mental health problems for expressing it.

And if it had been cold and pissing down with rain for 2 solid months I bet a lot of opinions would have been different.

Yes i feel very anxious too. I thought it was just me so it's reassuring to see that other people feel the same. I too am a creature of habit and I've gotten used to this new routine. It's tough, especially working and trying to make sure dc gets some sort of education, but it's become the new normal. I keep seeing all these people driving out to beauty spots and beaches and quite frankly I just want to be at home. I feel anxious about going anywhere too far away. Especially with the lack of toilets - another source of anxiety for me.

When work starts up again it will be very strange but I don't think I will be going back for the foreseeable. I'm more worried about people wanting to start socialising and having to make up endless excuses.

it's a bit like this has triggered a midlife crisis and a full re-evaluation of my life!

I think this might apply to a lot of people op.

chicchicchic I'm really sorry you've had a difficult time in lockdown. Can I suggest you make your own post about how difficult you're finding it? I'm very aware of how difficult things have been for others and it's because I really don't understand my own feelings right now that I posted. And as others have said my feelings are my feelings no matter how irrational or unfair they may seem to others.

I think this next stage is just going to be so stressful because the virus is still at dangerously high levels, yet people are starting to circulate again, so the risk of us contracting it feels high.

I also think I will bear the brunt of trying to keep our family safe -nagging people to wash hands/ take hand sanitiser etc/ wiping everything down if friends come round .
I've already discovered DH has a much more casual attitude to the rules and regulations and I think it will continue to be a source of argument between us.

I've got friends trying to arrange meet ups and I'm really not feeling it right now! I made excuses last week and I NEVER usually miss a chance to socialise!

It still won't feel remotely normal for me until I'm travelling into work, and that's not happening this year IMO because commuting into London is just not going to be safe for a goodly while.

I'm not feeling much about it - it feels too soon as a whole, but then I appreciate DH and I can both wfh, are both working, have a reasonable amount of money and space, so we could keep this up longer than many and it's not an option for everyone.

We are not rushing to invite loads of people over - it seems sensible to me not to see more than one other household every week and we can stick to that so we probably will.

And if it had been cold and pissing down with rain for 2 solid months I bet a lot of opinions would have been different.

Totally agree. We have spent long days lounging in the sun and we have lockdown tans. If it was January - we'd be miserable.

For people WFH surely your company will let you continue to do this? I don't understand why they would not - it would be best for the country if there were less cars on the road, less people using public transport. Plus it would be a little bit of a shorter day for people with long commutes and would help work life balance.

Dread the thought of MiL packing her bags to come round and having to deep clean before her arrival.

knickerthief1 - I'm not finding lockdown particularly hard at all. I am looking at the bigger picture.

Your question was AIBU? My answer is YABU.

I can relate to a lot of this, the sense of dread coming on. Ambiguity of what the rules are, people around are blurring what is allowed to their own interpretation. Things getting noisier, and the realisation that I don’t like the old world.

Plus it appears to not be acceptable, over the past months, to say I am okay.

When my parent died of cancer I didn’t get annoyed that everyone else was getting on with life. I was so unhappy, but recognised we are all experiencing life in different ways.

I get it too OP. I’m not exactly in the most happy situation, living with Ex while we sort out separation.

However, the simple life is so much less stressful. I didn’t realize. Getting the kids up so bloody early as they have miles to go to school wasn’t fun, especially with SN child. Buses and cars, having so much to do. I used to travel all the time. I loved it and needed to keep up connections with family. Now i won’t say zoom replaces sitting down for a coffee, but for me I used to have to travel hundreds of miles to see my friends and family - and now I don’t have to, it’s pretty great.

Also, I used to have quite a few odd stress related illnesses, migraines, bits of colds etc which would always send me into a health anxiety panic. But since covid19 I have never felt so healthy! I think it is partly the pared down life, and being able to sleep better hours for me and kids (which is not getting up at 7am), and also because I’m not exposing myself to everyone’s bugs all the time by traveling.

I also realize how much school isn’t particularly brilliant for both my children, in different ways, unfortunately. They are happier without it. Not sure I’d want to home school, but just them having a break from it has done them a lot of good.

I think a lot of people have adjusted to lockdown quit well. My husband had quite a stressful job and the rest has down him the power of good. Initially worried about redundancy he is now actively looking at moving into a training role. Haven’t seen him so enthusiastic and it’s been lovely spending time with him talking over all sorts of things. The garden looks good and our sex life is amazing. I’ve had to remind him about the birds and the bees and altho unlikely I’m not too old to surprise him.

I’m the same. Although I’m still busy WFH, I’ve enjoyed being able to get up a bit later in the morning. I’ve enjoyed not having that Sunday night sinking feeling. I’ve loved being able to cook & eat really nice meals, being on top of the washing /housework and we’ve done more in the garden than ever before. We’ve decorated and finished jobs around the home that we usually don’t have time to do. I feel we’ve pressed the reset button on life and on our little family life too. It’s made me realise how lucky we are in so many ways. As an introvert, I’ve probably leaned into lockdown quite easily but I’m not really looking forward to coming out of it!

I've enjoyed the "slower" pace of lockdown. Actually not that slow for us, juggling between WFH and homeschooling!
But having more control over my schedule, and having all the people I care most about (DH, DCs) in the same building, and making a dent in some personal projects (gardening, DIY, decluttering). And not having to keep my phone nearby in case school calls about one of our boys. And not having to rush to school every morning, after nagging the kids to get ready, then rush to work, then back to school again by 3PM...
It's not been a holiday, but a lot of useless stress was gone.
And still is, as the boys aren't back at school yet, and me and DH still WFH. But when the time comes to go back to the office, and for the kids to be back at school... I will miss (some aspects of) lockdown.

@funnylittlefloozie can you not use this to ask him to move in with you permanently? What’s the worst that could happen !

I’m a homebody so I’ve loved not having to justify it so in that sense I have enjoyed it. Also enjoyed the quiet walks (though that’s pretty much over) I’m a natural introvert and this has made me realise I can embrace it without worrying about people belittling me.