Mid 30s, how many friends do you have?!

[C1239]

Just that really, if your in your mid 30s how many good friends do you have? How often do you see them? Have you found your friendship groups have changed compared to your 20s? How do you go about making new friends at this age?!

Ive got two groups of friends really. I’ve got a set of high school friends that live in my home city. They all see each other every week as they all live locally but I see them every 2 months or so as I moved a few hundred miles away and it’s not possible to go down there loads. I talk to them weekly on our WhatsApp group chat though. My parents still live in my home city as well so it’s nice to go down and see everyone every few months. I’m really close to all of them as we grew up together.

Where I live I have a group of friends as well. It varies as to how often I see them. Sometimes weeks, sometimes it might be a month or more before I’ve seen anyone as work can be tricky. My husband and I didn’t really know anyone when we first moved here so we started getting involved with things going on locally and we made friends that way. Even if it was things we weren’t necessarily interested in, we did it just to try and meet people. I sing in a choir, I ride, I tried different exercise classes, I went to coffee mornings and pub quizzes, different clubs and talks. All sorts of things really.

My school friends are my friends but all my friends where I live are shared friends with my husband as we mostly made them together. My husband plays quite a lot of different sports so we became friendly with people through that as well.

I’d say we have a lot of people we are friendly with and would socialise with and then we’ve each got a handful of really close friends.

Even though we’re in our 30s, we don’t have any children yet and only one couple in either of my friendship groups has children so that might be something to do with how often everyone is able to socialise. I can imagine that will change if and when everyone starts having children.

My advice would be to try doing lots of things that might lead to you meeting people. Look up activities in your area and even if you’re not that interested there’s probably no harm in giving it a go once to see if there’s anyone you like there. I think there might also be friendship apps and things that you can download to find like minded people to do things with. Do you have any particular hobbies or interests that could lead to friends? A running club? A knitting group? Could work give you any new friendships? I’m always a little nervous about that one but that’s just because of the sector I work in and me personally. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having a drink on a night out with work but I know I’m the only one in the whole team that feels like that 😂. I just wouldn’t ever be able to get drunk in front of my boss!

Several groups of friends. School friends, I don't live near them but we go away at least twice a year. Uni friends see once every few months. Friends where I live see once a week. Keepin touch almost daily via social media.

Zero at 35/36!

My social life opened up at the grand old age of 37!

Friendships def change with age, in my 20's had a select few close friends saw all the time, hitting 30 and having kids i had lots and lots of friends, lunches, shopping, nights out due to baby groups and school mums, looking back was very superficial friendships.
Now at 40 i havnt got time for it, prefer to spend my time with my children and husband, i have 3 very close friends, 1 i see most days but only because we are also neibours and the other 2 i see a few times a year but speak to all the time.
Anything els, cant be bothered.

I have various groups of friends, made at different stages in my life, and I see them completely differing amounts, ranging from seeing daily on the school run then meeting up twice a week, to only seeing once every few months, but keeping in contact almost daily on WhatsApp. Added up in total I would say I have around 20 good friends (some I am closer to than others, but I definitely count them all as good friends).

Basically none. Colleagues who aren't close enough to call friends, and old school friends who I see once every couple of years.

I'd say maybe 8 close friends. Three from uni, three from school, two from past workplaces. And my sister and I are very close too. The uni ones I see a couple of times a year (geography), the school ones I see once every couple of months, the workplace ones I see once every couple of months. I see my sister pretty much fortnightly. Oh, and we've been on holiday with various sets of those friends plus partners, kids etc, too in the past.

1 very close friend, 2 close friends. Half a dozen other friends I met through my hobby and i probably socialise with them more than others (my best friend is part of this group too)

Lots of acquaintances that I am perfectly friendly with and happy to socialise with but not necessarily people I would call friends.

Best friend - we used to see earth other times but both have busy lives so it's hard, then I had new twins and then lockdown so this year has a wow off and then she'll newborn. But we're always there if the other needed, message and share or news. etc
School friends - 5. We messenger a fair bit as we all live apart now, but try and e each other when we can. Used to do a weekend away yearly but getting harder with kids.
Uni - 3 really, making the effort to see each other when we can but gain geographically dispersed. Saw one tons before kids but all our kids are very close in age so we understand.
College friends - 2, we keep in touch but as above really. One lives closer so see her more.
Nct - 3, altho only really see 1 even vaguely regularly now we've all had a 2nd batc
school - 6, we do lunch a month but others it's Wattsapp and school runs

I found once I left I it was hard to keep up work friendships as I keft cos of a poorly newborn and so couldn't even meet up in their lunch etc

I also have friends from my hobby but I realised when I had to stop for a few years how hard it was ti maintain as we're literally across the country and I couldn't go to meet ups. So 2 from there who are actual friends and have been there through it all and I actually SEE

2 Best friends I see every 6-8 weeks and a few mum friends I see every few weeks for coffee.

Probably 7 good friends - 3 from school days (1 I speak to near on every day) the other from places I’ve worked. Used to go out for dinner once a month, a few coffee catch ups, less than i did pre children (only 1 of my friends has kids).

Oh and a couple of mum friends from nursery but tbh they are hard work, it’s not a natural friendship.

School mum friends - once a month or so socially
Book club - once a month
NCT - some overlap with both above - weekly/sometimes twice weekly, also holidays
Oldest friend (and family) - every school holiday, holiday together once a year, dinner just us monthly or so
Old school friends - three/four times a year
Friends from 1sr degree - three ish times a year
Friends from 2nd degree - same

Some of these groups overlap, so I have three or so friends I am very close to and see a few times a week on their own and within the above groups. Overall I am out once/twice a week in evening, same during daytime and at least one friendship engagement every weekend.

This is really depressing. I have 5 friends total. A few other mums that i do play dates with. I’m really close to my sisters and my SIL though.
I was dating to DH that this whole ‘6 people for a bbq’ thing has really depressed me as I can’t imagine anyone who would invite me for one.
I don’t really understand it as I think I’m a nice person. DH is pretty antisocial so we have never made any couple friends from work NCT etc.

Same age as you OP. I have 3 friends that I met in an old work place (when I was 18) they are much much older than me but I have an old heart and they make me so happy! I have 2/3 work colleagues I sometimes see out of work and then I have friends that I met though my husband.. they are female and lovely.. but they have known each other since school and are very close x

Might be worth mentioning that I’m also very close to my mum...

My view is this...

Friendships in your twenties:. You are part of each others life.

Friendships in your thirties:. You simply see them to catch up with what's going on your life.

I have five/six close friends. We don't hang out like we did in our teens and twenties. We catch up once a month but we're not in each others lives iyswim.

I have 2 friends. And I see them maybe twice a year at the moment away I live so far away.

That’s an interesting perspective formerbabe. My old friends (school, uni) are definitely not IN my life anymore, although we still have a good time together, it’s all based on nostalgia and memories and I don’t always feel we are making new memories together. Whereas my school mum friends/NCT buddies, we are very much part of each others’ lives and seeing them and being with them is really part of the day to day fabric of my life, but perhaps the friendships feel a tad more seasonal.

I went out & got a new friendship group in my mid-thirties. Most of my school friends were married with babies at this stage, or starting out on that road. I was living in the city, and just in a different place to them.
Met some great new friends, singles & couples, we had nights out, parties, dinners, a great social life. We’d go to meet-ups, so I knew a lot of people around Town, as well. My school friends, I’d see less of as they had new Mum friends, but the friendships are still there & strong.

I have 3 close friends who I worked with in my student days, 2 of whom live out of town now but we keep min weekly contact through WhatsApp and meet up when we can. Local friend I see regularly for coffee/lunch.

I'm close to 2 current colleagues and have been in contact with them the most during lockdown via messages and calls even though all working separately now.

Through a hobby have a group of 5 girls and we meet up at the hobby once a week (obviously in the good old days!) with nights in and out and lunches too. Some of us meet up in our couples too as our partners also know each other through hobby, and we've been on a few holidays together.

Have 2 mum friends on top of that, one from working together years ago who I see more often now we have kids, and one I met when I had my baby.

3 from school, 1 from university, lots from various places of work from over the years. 1 from NCT who I still see but a few others I made from random classes. 6 from my choir. And then a few who were my husbands friends but who are now mine too. Oh and a few from my travelling days although only see them every few years.
I havent always had good or many friends but i do now and really, really appreciate having them in my life.