To ask how you feel about your step parents?

[RedCarBluePlane]

Exactly that, especially if you were young when they came into your life. Does it make a difference if your own father/mother was also around? Like if you had a father and a step-father or mother and a step-mother. What if your biological father hated your step-father? Or your mother hated your step-mother? Did that impact your relationship with your step-parent?

No.

But I had step grandparents.
My birth mom's stepdad was my mom's (aunt) biofather. My BM was "slow" but he completely accepted her as his. She died when I was 4 and he was devastated. My mom told me it was the only time she ever saw him cry... And that includes losing my grandmother 2 months later. My dad was never around, so he was like a dad to me. And again to my son whose father also isn't involved. Losing him was awful.

My step grandmother was also a great person. (Her and my mom died a month apart 30 years after my BM and grandmother)

Not that this is what you asked... But at 37... I lost the last adult family member I was close to. I have an aunt and uncle (each a full sibling to one of my moms) but theyre...how do I word this.... Less adult than me? Less responsible. Neither are people I could go to for any type of support. I'm the one who is left to support them.

I am very close to my step mum, far more than my mum. She came into my life when I was 3 and as a teen we didn't get on. My mum painted her and my dad as awful people throughout my entire childhood and I believed her. Over 30 years later my mum is still harping on about the same bitterness, and I've heard both sides of the story. My mum isn't very maternal and suffers with her mental health, sometimes it is really bad, and as she leans on me so much, I've stepped back from our relationship.
My step mum is my go to in a crisis or to share good news. She was the first person I wanted to meet for a walk when the rules were relaxed, closely followed by my dad the next day.

Forgot to add, I have a step dad. They married 8 years ago. I get on well with him, but like my mum, he battles with mental health, and as such he is kept at arms length too. He's a lovely man and good for my mum.

I gained a stepmum and stepdad when I was a young child, so to me that was just how families were. They're equal to my parents in terms of having raised me, shaped me, taken responsibility for me, supported me.

That doesn't mean I necessarily always got on with them, but then I didn't always get on with my bio parents either.

They've trodden a difficult path and done their best.

I'm now 50 and appreciate them enormously and love them dearly.

My DM passed away following a long illness. I was 12. DF introduced his new girlfriend to my sister and I a few months later. It was rumoured that he'd been seeing her while DM was ill, but I can't categorically say this is true. Anyway, he married her when I was 13 and she became my stepmother.

We didn't get on. I disliked her and she hated me. She told me from the beginning, that she'd married my father because she loved him. She had not married him to play mum to me and my sister.

I broached the subject to my DF and he told me that although he would always provide for me financially (while I was a child), I would grow up and move away - have my own life. He would therefore be left alone and wanted stepmother for company. I was basically told put up and shut up.

It was quite a stark statement to hear at 13 but, I knuckled down and got on with it.

Looking for the positives - well I guess it made me very independent and very street wise. I looked after myself and my elder sister who wasn't as tough as me.

Both my DF and stepmother have passed away now. I attended their funerals but didn't shed any tears for my stepmother.

My first dsf from me being 4-24 was my daddy he died while I was expecting my dd he brought me up we went out with him in the lorries he drove I was a total daddies girl my second sf I get the on with but not like the first . I have a step mother who I first met when I was 27 her and the biological father had 3 c but she hated me , I have 2 dsd and hope they can say I treat them no different to how i treat my own dc

I've had a step dad since the age of 17. The first 5 years were difficult but he was 'the other man'. We get on really well now, mainly because I found out he had no idea about my Dad and thought my Mum was single. He's a great man and I see him as a second Dad.

My Dad has a new partner (around a year) and I also get on really well with her.