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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think there's more to this re 17 mo with skills loss?

38 replies

Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 12:12

Posted in behaviour yesterday and had some v kind support and put it from my mind. Woken up this morning feeling worried again, discussed with a dr friend who can't, ethically, advise me on my own children but advised to speak to GP which - amazingly - I managed to do this morning on the phone.

I am worried because our previously v babbly, smiley 17mo girl with 6 or 7 words has lost some, no longer responds to name, won't wave or say hi or bye and is making much less eye contact.

I know from here and friends about regressions like this being a red flag for asd but also know it's hard to judge and it could well be the impact of lockdown, loss of routine, missing nursery and fact that she's regrettably watching more TV - going to stop this as much as we possibly can.

GP was kind, said wait and see which I guess is best they can do now but also said can't diagnose asd before aged 5 which am sure is not right. I'm wondering if am being unreasonable worrying about a child changing during a time when it's difficult for everyone, and that it's anxiety making me question the GP's advice or whether I should trust my instincts and have pushed for a referral..

Feel so unsure of myself and like I'm letting her down. I don't imagine a referral opens any magic door to support or advice but it might help identify some things we could do to help her if she needs it.

Has anyone else seen changes like this during the lockdown?

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 29/05/2020 12:16

Go back to GP. There are other things it could be.

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 12:21

I think we basically both need to put work to one side, do all we can to play with and talk with her and see what happens. Only spoke to GP this morning, she said to call back in few weeks if still worried so don't think can go back just yet - any idea what else might be up?

OP posts:
IhearyoucallingMarianne · 29/05/2020 12:21

I would not be happy with that response tbh. Can you show videos? Imo a true regression should be medically investigated first and not "assumed" to be autism or lockdown or anything else.
There are some other things they should rule out first.

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 12:25

I don't think this GP thought loss of some words from low starting point of not many to start with / not responding to name or waving any more counted as a regression. We could definitely film her, think that's a good idea.

OP posts:
DuckALaurent · 29/05/2020 12:26

True regression needs to be investigated.
Please go back to your GP.
Not trying to be scary, just know that it ‘sometimes’ can be something else (not ASD).

BrigitsBigKnickers · 29/05/2020 12:30

Ask to have her hearing checked. Hearing loss in little ones can sometimes look a bit like like ASD- not saying it's not but get her hearing checked to rule it out.

The no diagnosis before for 5 is inaccurate. I know a little one who is 2 1/2 who has just been diagnosed.

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 12:32

That's what I thought re diagnosis too.. going to see how she goes over weekend when we are both not working and can give her 100% attention and then call back if still worried. thanks for advice :)

OP posts:
helpwithpuppyplease · 29/05/2020 12:33

Sometimes children can have temporary regressions due to stress or huge change in routine. For instance my almost 4yo has wet himself a couple of times recently and had some tantrums when these 2 things had stopped for a year. I have absolutely no concerns however I know it's due to the huge change in his life at the moment, he's improving slightly again now.

I would be far more worried with what you describe though and it needs proper investigation. It's not true that children can't be diagnosed with ASD until age 5, I believe it's just harder to diagnose at a younger age.

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 12:38

Thank you - feel (unfortunately) more confident in instincts now! Will get back to GP next week unless see anything dramatically improve over weekend which is obviously unlikely...

OP posts:
TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 29/05/2020 12:58

I second getting her hearing tested as soon as you can.

Feetupteashot · 29/05/2020 13:02

Could also contact health visitor

crosspelican · 29/05/2020 13:02

A friend of ours had a baby very like this, and everyone assumed autism and it wasn't until the poor lamb was 3 that it was discovered he was almost completely deaf. He had grommets put in and is a transformed child. His parents were distraught that he had been like this for so long.

Hearing loss could very well account for what you are describing.

ShouldWeChangeTheBulb · 29/05/2020 13:11

100% hearing needs to be checked. Even if a child is responsive to noises any level of hearings loss at any frequency can dramatically effect communication.
If it is regressive autism then you need intervention too. Even if they don’t diagnose before 5 in your area they can still offer speech and language therapy and should offer input from other professionals in the ASD team. Has your GP never heard of early intervention.

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 13:14

I don't think it's the normal GP, think it's a remote locum service - she was nice but didn't sound very informed - will try HV too, thank you

OP posts:
Stampy84 · 29/05/2020 13:23

@Worriedcoronamum
I could I written this post!
My daughter is 19 months, stopped Waving goodbye, very very little talking, doesn’t respond to her name (it’s almost as if she’s gone deaf, but I know she’s not at she responds to other things)
She doesn’t seem able to feed herself with a spoon, and all’s she does is baby babble..

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 14:13

Ah ok - have you been worried / spoken to anyone? I think the main thing with me isn’t what’s happening specifically just a gut sense she’s not herself...

OP posts:
pilates · 29/05/2020 14:18

The only useful bit of advice I received from my health visitor is trust your instincts. It has never let me down. Good luck and hope you get some reassurance soon.

Glittercandle · 29/05/2020 14:21

I would get in contact with your health visitor, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

Stampy84 · 29/05/2020 14:24

@Worriedcoronamum I’ve not spoken to anyone yet, but I’m going to get in touch with my health visitor.
I had a horrendously stressful pregnancy, and I’ve heard that there’s links to development from that, though I’m not sure how true that is

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 29/05/2020 14:25

Id get a hearing test.

Original poster
Worriedcoronamum · 29/05/2020 14:29

Me too re stressful pregnancy @Stampy84 although been reassured several times that the findings from that research are pretty thin. Let’s post anything helpful we find here! GP said that it was likely change in routine and to keep eye... other friends have said skills in one area can slip when mastering others... who knows? Going to get on to HV

OP posts:
smartiecake · 29/05/2020 14:31

My son has Autism and was diagnosed when he was 3 and a half. But i think each local area make their own rules up. My son had a hearing test as part of his ASD assessment. Speak to your HV and go back to the GP in a few weeks if still have concerns.

Ireolu · 29/05/2020 14:53

Typical it's age 3 for diagnosis of ASD, but what if it's something else? Shd err on side of caution and just ask for the referral.

CoronaMoaner · 29/05/2020 14:56

My friends daughter was assessed for ASD at 4. The diagnosis was confirmed at age 5.
Her behaviour was very different to what you describe though.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is no ‘rule’ about assessing after the age of 5.
There are some hearing tests you can do at home, look online. If these reassure your about her hearing then I’d go back to the GP.
Good luck.

pumpkinbump · 29/05/2020 15:04

I am/was worried about my daughter too. I read at 20 months they should be saying around 20-50 words and mine definitely wasn't anywhere near that. She went through a period of about 2 months not picking up any new words when she was around 18 months and stopped saying words she was previously saying. Now, it seems at 22 months she is picking up words straight away and repeating them (rather than learning and collecting certain words) so I am less worried. Maybe this is the case with yours? She also sometimes doesn't wave or clap her hands when asked to but I think sometimes it's because they don't want to or will do it in their own time. I'm not sure but I just wanted to share this to give you hope. I bought mine a book with different objects and flash cards too so she is learning from those.