AIBU to stay in small house?

[Ajtraceyliveanddirect]

We bought of first house about 5 years ago. It is a typical "starter home", two bedroom period property but is like a tardis.

I feel societal pressure to 'upgrade' to a larger home, even though we have no children. I do look but larger homes in my area and in our budget are modern and we prefer old homes. There are a few things that aren't ideal but we have poured so much love (and money) and we are proud of our home. We have good neighbours and are in a central location.

But I keep getting asked when we are moving to somewhere bigger and I feel embarrassed that we aren't, and don't want to. We would essentially be doubling our mortgage for a third bedroom we don't need. Logically, it makes sense, so why do I feel like everyone is judging us?

Has anyone stayed in their first home?

Good on you. We’ve not stayed in our first home but we have been in the same house for the last 13 years and resisted the temptation/pressure to move somewhere bigger just because we could afford to. We love it here.

If you're happy with the house and how you live in it then carry on as you are. I'd be tempted to ask they are not happy that you are happy?

Stayed in my first home, now our first home. Paid off the mortgage 13 years ago which enabled me to go PT when we had DC, but also DH to go PT at the same time. Which has meant he had her pre-school years at home looking after her on his own 1 day a week, and loved it. He always says it's the best thing he's ever done. DC now complains our house is too small but she can have a bigger one when she's paying!

I've got itchy feet a few times and wanted to upgrade but we have improved here instead and that's worked for us.

I live on my own and I live in a "starter" home. I can afford to move up but I don't want to, my home is cost effective, cheap to heat and maintain and perfect for me and the cat.
We don't want a bigger house. I'd just rattle about in it and I never have more than two visitors at a time so I don't need three bedrooms.
I don't give in to societal pressures, I do whatever I want.
Unless you want an investment for your future, downsize on retirement and keep the extra money for a pension, that's the only reason you might want to move up.

A good friend of mine and her husband lived in a Victorian 2 bed in an area close to transport links which they did up beautifully and they threw thousands at over paying the mortgage. When the time came to move on (after having a couple of children and school catchments became important), they had a small fortune available in the house which they used to upgrade to a 4 bed detached within catchment of an excellent school, it was very clever and had been their plan all along!

I have, it is a two bedroom end of terrace cottage style house. I had an extension on it a few years ago just so i had an extra room downstairs. I have had comments in the past about how small it is. Well i love it and am very happy in it. I tell them it is my HOME and mind your own bloody business.

This is always an interesting topic. I live in a 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom house. We moved here in 1994 and have made a lot of changes. I am always surprised when the question comes up on Mumsnet of staying put with a small mortgage and lots of disposable income or increasing mortgage for larger house and fewer holidays, weekends away etc that the majority opt for the small house. We all differ I know but I wouldn't care if I never had another holiday but love my home. We should all do what suits us and not listen to others.

I think that’s such a weird question. I would never ask if someone was going to move because i didn’t think their house was big enough!! It’s your house and you are happy with it so why move?!

Depending on mood, my response would be:

(1) we don't need a bigger house.

Or

(2) why do you ask?
.

We plan to stay in and start a family in our first home. It's a large 1 bed flat. Moving to a 2 bed house in our area would cost £70k and we wouldn't have as much space. Eg our living room is about 17ft square. Our flat was valued at about £250k before COVID-19 the 3-4 bed houses on our street go for £500-550k. (And out neighbours house that needs totally gutting and rewiring just went on the market for £415k). We live within walking distance to the city centre. Buying a family home around here isn't feasible for us. We want to move back "home" to a more rural location but would rather not leave our easy commutes until we absolutely have to. Many of our friends have chosen this route. One is still living in a 1 bed with their now 2 year old, one moved out at 18 months. A baby stays in with you until 6 months, so we wouldn't need an extra bedroom until then and we could manage without. My parents survived with 3 under 7 in a one bed above their business. It's doable.

If you're happy then why move?

We are sort of similar, in a very small three bedroom new-build 'starter home' only we also have three children under 5! Our house is smaller than all our friends and we have an extra child, people are often asking how we manage for space bd when we are moving. I sometimes feel embarrassed about it, but we dont want to move!

The house is small but the garden is large and sunny, in-laws are all nearby as are a lovely nursery and primary school - all within 10 minutes walk. The mortgage is small so DH and I both work part time. My 3 and 4 year old boys share a room (bunk beds) and the baby has a box room. It's fine.

Do what suits you, if you are happy then stay and enjoy having more disposable income and more savings. What's the point of extra spare rooms that hardly get used?

I wouldn’t live in anything bigger than a two bed of I didn’t have children. We currently live in a 5 bed, temporarily. When our children are old enough to no longer require an au pair we’ll be moving to 3/4 beds. Once they leave home we’ll move to 1/2 beds closer to work. I just think that it’s not worth compromising on location and quality, not would I want the additional financial exposure.

Love the ones who ask you why you're doing x as it won't add value. They are the ones in for a big shock when/if their houses lose value.

Just ignore them. We will probably stay in our two bedroom house for life. It suits us fine and I've yet to see a bigger house designed in a layout I actually like. They keep putting bathrooms off the kitchen on new builds, ew..

We’re still in our first home after 26 years. I wouldn’t sell if we won the lottery. I love it here. It is very much a home. So many happy memories,great neighbours and in a place we love. We’ve had many opportunities to move over the years and were in a position to even build a house. We couldn’t do it. We’re fine where we are so we stayed. So glad we did. If you get a bigger house you’ve got more to clean. Bugger that!

Thanks everyone for your messages! I'm 28 for those who asked.

The only thing that is a negative is we don't have a driveway, but we have a lot parking on the street and nearby. We do have a fairly big garden (well big for location) and we have quite a big kitchen with a separate dining room so I don't feel like it's that small! It's true we couldn't host a big family dinner comfortably nor could we accommodate loads of guests but we aren't really the sort to have guests anyway!

I honestly feel so much better now, thank you. I will take your advice on what to say if people ask!

Decent neighbours and a good location are priceless imo. We've been in our first home for 5 years, it's a nice affordable starter home. Sometimes I think it makes sense to stay here and be mortgage free in a few years.

We probably will eventually move as we'd like live somewhere a little quieter with fewer neighbours. We never go away for holidays though, so for us it makes sense to put more money into having a nicer house as we spend all of our time there when not at work. If you like your house, it's location and your neighbours it makes no sense to move!

I should have clarified my post a bit last night. We had bought a brand new 3 bed semi-detached off the plans, and had to do a lot of the finishing ourselves - painting, tiling, garden landscaping etc. And had to get flooring fitted etc and buy all appliances, furniture etc to fill it (or use donated furniture).

It was a nice enough house, but a bit soulless, and the commute was a killer - we were 40 minutes drive in no traffic, but about 2 hours in rush hour, so we used to leave the house at 6.30am and I would get home after 6.30 having spent 90 minutes on the bus and walking another 20, while DH would drive home more than an hour later. There were no services in walking distance. Shops weren't great. And we spent most weekends in the area we moved to to get near the sea.

We sold the first house, added €100k to the mortgage, and bought a very similar sized house but from the previous generation - so still a 3 bed semiD, it had a kitchen/diner rather than dining/living room as the large room, but still had most of its original fittings like the pine single glazed windows, textured wallpaper, and the original tiny leylandii trees along the fence in the back garden were now 6' tall and 4' wide on each side with a poor scrubby lawn in the middle.

But it had good shops, takeaways, pubs, library etc locally, good public transport links, great neighbours (bonus when we moved in!), and we knew we could do a lot of the work to make it nice and suit us. Over the 18 years we've been here, we've got double glazing throughout, extended out the back to get a nice large open family room and better kitchen and a downstairs shower room and separate utility cupboard, extended into the attic to make a nice bedroom for DD and turned the box room into a study, made the back garden into a lovely haven, and have tuned it into our home.

We could afford to move to a bigger house, or get a bigger garden (but only both if we moved a long way) - but we are happy here. Family keep asking us when we will move, but we just say we're not interested in moving.

We get asked if we have another child will we move. First of all we're happy with one child. We live in a 3 bed (small boxroom) and at moment ds4 is in small room as he has a playroom. We don't have masses of indoor space but we have a garden five times at least the size of the house and a driveway. Eventually when ds moves into the bigger room our guests will have to cope with the box room but i can get a specially made bed in there. It works for us though, we had looked at bigger houses on our budget but we would have a small yard instead which we're not willing to do. Plus we're on the edge of a really good area but ina cheaper postcode so have access to good schools etc

Hi OP we opted to live in a small cottage as we have chosen to go the "tiny house route" (I have thread about it in AMA) YADBU if you are happy then who cares.Before our TINY cottage we lived in HUGE house.I hated it and craved a more simple life. Our cottage is under 400sq ft.

I am always surprised when the question comes up on Mumsnet of staying put with a small mortgage and lots of disposable income or increasing mortgage for larger house and fewer holidays, weekends away etc that the majority opt for the small house. We all differ I know but I wouldn't care if I never had another holiday but love my home

In real life I'm always surprised that many people I know would choose the bigger house and bigger mortgage! We aren't into holidays and weekends away at the moment (young kids) but love the lack of financial pressure that living in a small house brings.

Amongst friends and family, people move into the bigger house and enjoy the extra space for a year or two, then start planning an extension (with remortgage) as they start to feel they "need" another bedroom, or an eat-in kitchen. Or they start re-doing the bathroom, re-decorating etc, and by the time they have finished all the rooms the first one seems to "need" doing again! It seems never ending, and that the house they once were so excited by stops giving them the same pleasure as it becomes normal to them, so they keep re-doing bits of it again and again.

We didn't stay in our first home, but we've stayed in a fairly small house compared to our peers when we could've afforded a much bigger one. For us it was about paying the mortgage off asap, just do what suits you and tell them to mind their own business!

Who are these twats commenting on your house, just tell them to FO.

I have just downsized (post separation from XP) from a huge five bed loads of reception rooms, garage, massive garden house. Me and DD have moved into a 3 bed terrace.

The relief of downsizing is incredible, from my experience for these reasons.

1. The cleaning! Honestly it never ends and you end up just paying someone to do it, particularly if you worked FT like I did.

1. The maintenance - again never ending. I had two flat rooftops both of which had to be replaced whilst we were there, painting the house, weeding the driveway, fighting the leaks, replacing the bathrooms and on and on and on.

1. Having a massive garden is great in theory and we had loads of happy times there it is true but.....cutting the lawn, fighting the weeds, clearing up seventy trillion leaves every autumn (3 huge trees in my old place), clearing the ivy. Exhausting.

1. Because we had tons of storage space (basement, garage, attic) we (well actually XP not me! ) just never got rid of stuff. When we moved the amount of stuff we had to get rid of that had been stored for years, embarrassing.

1. The mortgage - ours wasn't that bed, but I know tons of people who are mortgaged to the hilt. Plus sky high heating bills, council tax etc, heating a big space is expensive.

So OP enjoy your perfect smaller house and ignore ignore ignore. I am beyond happy to be in my new smaller house, plus have no mortgage here, a win win in the current climate I think.

2 bed character sounds perfect for extending if you ever needed or wanted more space so why move?