Today I pissed on the back seat of the car...

[AhComeOnNow]

I've read a few threads that say 'why do people keep asking where you're going to go to the toilet?' Well... I'll tell you why.. it's because it's a very very important issue with the current lock down rules.

I've not name-changed so I can't be accused of being a piss troll.

I set off today to see my mum. A 1hr drive. I've done it once before and the last time I went with the strategy of being dehydrated. It worked but caused a huge headache.

However, this time, we wanted to meet for longer than just a quick walk: a picnic was planned. So, with my birth injuries plus my diet coke addiction, I formulated a plan: 3 nappies double bagged to make a 'travel potty'.

I felt confident. Liberated even. I drank my coke with zero trepidation. On my return journey I pulled into a secluded layby and retired to the back seat to make use of the 'travel potty'. As I finished, on looking down, I was just in time to see the huge puddle soak down into the seat.

I fear that the bit-of-a-rub with a wet wipe may not have done the trick. Tomorrow, I need to come up with an excuse to go out in the car so that I can sprinkle bi-carb and drive around with all windows open before my husband finds out and files this under 'unreasonable behaviour' in the divorce proceedings.

WIBU to piss in the car!? Has anyone else resorted to such barbaric ways during these unprecedented times?

Lack of toilets is a feminist issue.

It’s a pandemic issue for me - no toilets open at all

I think the solution is don't see your mum until lockdown is over .
Or tbh I'd probably just use her toilet before driving back , I'd rather do that than piss myself .

Lol this has made my day.

I don’t understand why you didn’t pee in a bush? I had to do this recently in the park bc of course all The loos are closed.

Babies fuck with your bladder and it was piss in a bush or piss in my pants. Luckily we always have wipes in the pram and my DP made “cookkaaaa” noises if anyone approached the bush

In terms of a car - actually yes I got stuck In a traffic jam in the black wall tunnel after a night out years ago and peed my pants all over the drivers seat

This confirms everything I have always thought about people who drink diet coke

@ThighThighofthigh

Having visions of me stood pissing a river, politely doffing my cap to the ladies taking a leisurely stroll through the park “morning ladies, lovely day for it”

Are you honestly telling me pissing in your car is better than pissing in a bush? I hate MN.

@LadyofTheManners

Sharing on the Internet is one of the best things about the Internet!

OP is sharing a stupid, ridiculous situation she found herself in and lots of people are saying oh yeah I’ve done XYZ - we are all human and whilst talking about our bodily functions isn’t dinner party fodder, normalising them to an extent can only be a good thing surely?

This confirms everything I have always thought about people who drink diet coke

Haven't rtft but I know a good trick to keep you covered while you take a leak.
Park up your car, open up the front door and the rear door. Squat between the open doors (no one will see you having a pee). Pretend to be looking for something on the seat while you pee. Tried and tested many times

If you get a shewee, make sure you practice in the shower, otherwise you might end up with wee in your knickers and down you legs!

All those suggesting a she wee, I assumed you've used one? Jesus christ they take practice

Pissy Jeans on my first attempt (and second, third... you get the idea)

The worst one for me was when I rushed home from work by taxi (dont drive) dying for a pee and realising I had left my key at home and my DD who also cant drive was 3 hours before she would come home from work, the other key holder, my DS was abroad on leave and my neighbours who also have a key were all out. I live in a flat so no private garden and the nearest toilet was in a pub 30 mins walk away! So I sat on my garden bench outside my flat facing the street and literally weed through my leggings, keeping a straight face so no one would notice what I was up to. I couldn't wait to get my leggings off, and throw them away and have a bath. I will never forget my key now..lesson learned.

@WildfirePonie This is brand new information!

With a she wee, there's no container is there-so you still have to get out of the car?

"Pretend to be looking for something on the seat while you pee."

Make sure that you're not on concrete/tarmac on a slope??!!

Concrete is fine, just pull over somewhere and use the passenger side, no one will see if they are sitting in their cars. They will just see some crazy woman opening both car doors and squatting in between

i broke down once, with my baby. of course ended up on the longest wait ever for green flag so i did pee in a nappy in the backseat (it was that or take baby on jolly adventure down country lane in hope of finding a bush to somehow squat in whilst holding said babe). i misjudged and only had one on hand, having overestimated how much one nappy could take. so i too soiled my backseat. my friends thought it was hiiiillarious.

there is a definate knack to using a she-wee..it says practise in the shower---I never ever got the knack...only time I tried it outside the shower I had very wet legs. Back to the jug and Comfort bottle method for me..Easily washed out , use new empty bottle every time...

i do have bladder problems and i was also badly abused when i was a child in toilets so i cant use many toilets even relatives and friends. partner used to it now so he is fantastic into a layby or secluded area and i pop round the side of the car. we are all only human after all said and done

@Jimsmum61 it must be very soft and fragrant - peeing delicate drops of summer blossom.

First time I've spat wine on the screen for ages

Not really sure I understand what about making do in an emergency is having ’no standards’. It’s not like people are squatting in the middle of a busy street to take a piss.

ahem... looking at you Thisters

OP back seats are specifically designed to absorb emergency pees. FACT.

Just leave the back car window open and tell your DP that a cat must've jumped in during the night and pissed there.

OP, I can empathise and would like to suggest that you keep a large funnel and an empty water bottle in the car from now on. If anyone asks, it's "for the car".

I can't understand all these 'why not just pee in a bush' comments. If I don't remove all my lower clothing, I piss all over it. Not sure whether my pee comes out at an unsual angle (might do, I have an unsual angle on my womb) but there's no discretely doing this between car doors fantasy. I need full bum and vag out - not discretion and not a hope of succesfully pretending I was looking for something on the front seat!

You should have just squatted on the floor by the car or behind a bush. Your car is going to reek to high heaven. Gonna take more than some bicarb of soda to get rid of the smell. Especially in this heat.

Ok fair point @alittlerespectgoesalongway. A bucket in the back seat should do the trick. Piss in there in the back seat then empty out by side of car and rinse out with a bottle of water and some bleach before putting back in the car.