Today I pissed on the back seat of the car...

[AhComeOnNow]

I've read a few threads that say 'why do people keep asking where you're going to go to the toilet?' Well... I'll tell you why.. it's because it's a very very important issue with the current lock down rules.

I've not name-changed so I can't be accused of being a piss troll.

I set off today to see my mum. A 1hr drive. I've done it once before and the last time I went with the strategy of being dehydrated. It worked but caused a huge headache.

However, this time, we wanted to meet for longer than just a quick walk: a picnic was planned. So, with my birth injuries plus my diet coke addiction, I formulated a plan: 3 nappies double bagged to make a 'travel potty'.

I felt confident. Liberated even. I drank my coke with zero trepidation. On my return journey I pulled into a secluded layby and retired to the back seat to make use of the 'travel potty'. As I finished, on looking down, I was just in time to see the huge puddle soak down into the seat.

I fear that the bit-of-a-rub with a wet wipe may not have done the trick. Tomorrow, I need to come up with an excuse to go out in the car so that I can sprinkle bi-carb and drive around with all windows open before my husband finds out and files this under 'unreasonable behaviour' in the divorce proceedings.

WIBU to piss in the car!? Has anyone else resorted to such barbaric ways during these unprecedented times?

If you were going to that effort I genuinely don't understand why you didn't she-wee into a bottle rather than piss all over your seats.

You gave it a go. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Next time, try a she-wee? You can get an absorbent thing from camping shops (online) too.

I’ve always considered the nappy thing. Thought just a single one would do the trick. Glad I didn’t try now. Although I do use the kids potty when we camp.

If it was a secluded lay by why didn't you just pee outside al fresco?
There's a thing called a She wee. Never used it by might be worth googling. Could be the answer.

If it was secluded I would have hidden behind the car or gone deep into some bushes. I actually can’t believe you thought this was a good plan. So did the bags have holes? Did you miss?

My mum once wet herself stuck in traffic in my dad’s car. He moaned a bit, but gave up after he got no sympathy.

I did put a nappy in thE potty when needed overnight when camping. I was very wary and pee’d with great control , to avoid flooding, which maybe what happened to you.

Grim

Dear god. I can't actually believe this. You were in a layby - why didn't you just squat behind a bush or even the car?!?

Oh dear, it's done now and unless you've got a time machine there's nothing you can do to change it, but I suppose you could blame a child/dog/mother?

For future reference you can get a little bag thingy that has crystals in it to wee in, the crystals absorb the moisture and you can then simply bin it. I came across them for camping and have kept a couple in the car ever since.

I’m not going to go into personal anecdotes for obvious reasons (even if you aren’t the pee troll they will be all over this thread in moments) but suffice to say I can think of several more hygienic and discreet solutions than this

Does your Mum not have a garden you could take a pee in? You could have borrowed a bucket?

Better than a pissy car. That’ll stink for ages in this warm weather.

Adult bladders have a bit of a larger capacity than a baby’s...

Slightly bizarre thing to do!

She wee. Or disposable drinks cup with lid. Or a funnel and a bottle. Or a jam jar...

Really, OP, you had a bit of a creativity fail here.

I can also confirm aeroplane sickbags are not quite as waterproof as you might imagine (stuck on a very small plane for four hours, literally never realised prior to boarding that not all planes have toilets).

I am astonished that you didn’t simply use your mum’s loo! Do you honestly think that you would have caught Covid from doing so?!

Not something I’d do. Reminded me of one time when my mum had the runs and didn’t make it home in time. Bless her,she parked on the drive,got out of the car and walked backwards into the house so no one could see the state of her trousers!

What the fuck!?

Find a bush next time!

It wouldn't have occurred to me to do this when I could use my mum's loo, a she-wee, or a handy bush somewhere in a secluded layby or country lane.

Why did u even go? A one hour drive plus a walk? I know we're 'allowed' now but given the toilet situation I wouldn't bother

Here we go again.

I really dont understand why you did this

Why did you drink your diet coke?

Its only a couple of hours. You wont get dehyrdrated in a couple of hours.

Nappies in a bag were never going to be enough, there would be space to leak for one? Bags are flexible? A nappie might be absorbant enough for a baby wee but its not a super absorber and it will take time to absorb a full adult wee?!?!

What evers wrong with a bush?

For future reference, OP, and if you have a 4-door car, open both the nearside doors and squat between them. The doors will hide you from public view while you wee (this may not work if you have a Chelsea tractor, as the doors are higher from the ground).

A two-door car can work ok if your layby is on a dual carriageway, as long as you remember to pee in front of, not behind, the door. The oncoming traffic is generally too fast and far enough away not to be able to see what you're doing.

A word of caution: never try this if you are with your significant other and they have a warped sense of humour.

On a late night drive to Cornwall, my then BF pulled over into a layby on the A303 so I could have a wee. I was mid-stream when he leaned over, shut the passenger door, and reversed back along the layby with his headlights on main beam. It was like pissing on a floodlit football pitch and several lorry drivers will have had an eyeful of my naked arse.