Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Today I pissed on the back seat of the car...

328 replies

AhComeOnNow · 27/05/2020 22:30

I've read a few threads that say 'why do people keep asking where you're going to go to the toilet?' Well... I'll tell you why.. it's because it's a very very important issue with the current lock down rules.

I've not name-changed so I can't be accused of being a piss troll.

I set off today to see my mum. A 1hr drive. I've done it once before and the last time I went with the strategy of being dehydrated. It worked but caused a huge headache.

However, this time, we wanted to meet for longer than just a quick walk: a picnic was planned. So, with my birth injuries plus my diet coke addiction, I formulated a plan: 3 nappies double bagged to make a 'travel potty'.

I felt confident. Liberated even. I drank my coke with zero trepidation. On my return journey I pulled into a secluded layby and retired to the back seat to make use of the 'travel potty'. As I finished, on looking down, I was just in time to see the huge puddle soak down into the seat.

I fear that the bit-of-a-rub with a wet wipe may not have done the trick. Tomorrow, I need to come up with an excuse to go out in the car so that I can sprinkle bi-carb and drive around with all windows open before my husband finds out and files this under 'unreasonable behaviour' in the divorce proceedings.

WIBU to piss in the car!? Has anyone else resorted to such barbaric ways during these unprecedented times?

OP posts:
flouncymcflouncerson · 27/05/2020 23:39

I was at a christening of a friends kids last year. I didn’t know the church or any other guests and stupidly didn’t ask to use the loo before I left to head to his house after. I’d already driven an hour to get there and then the service and the drive to his was awful I was so desperate. I eventually gave up and pulled off the road as I was so so sure I was going to wet myself . I had nothing with me to pee in so opened both doors and figured no one would see anything. I started peeing and didn’t think I was going to stop! It was awful but better than all over the car!

HollowTalk · 27/05/2020 23:41

That would be the last diet coke I drank. Ever.

Pr0blemNeighbours · 27/05/2020 23:42

Diet Coke doesn't hydrate you.

converseandjeans · 27/05/2020 23:43

I drove an hour to meet my Mum in a park. I stopped at services just before we came off the motorway. Was their no motorway service station? Their toilets are still open.

ITonyah · 27/05/2020 23:44

Its the overly jolly tone which makes this seem a bit suss. Sorry OP if you are genuine and just trying to make the best of a grim situation.

Sparklesocks · 27/05/2020 23:45

Oh dear!

Truzza · 27/05/2020 23:46

Years ago I bought a new car and got caught short in a night out (baby was 1) and literally peed all over the driver seat 😱😱 then two days later a child I was giving a lift to peed all over the back seat,

So it's called the piss mobile, I still have that car and it's fine! 😂😂

Also have a campervan with an actual loo in it which I've managed to trip over and spill everywhere. Some of us are just born that way 😂😂

CoachBombay · 27/05/2020 23:49

You what?! This is the most ridiculous "plan" for a piss I've ever read in my life. 😂😂

Why didn't you just open the passenger side door and squat hidden by the car and door. Why didn't you just piss in a bush? Why didn't you just use a motorway service station?

Lonelykettleshed · 27/05/2020 23:49

Never tried them for wee-ing but you could try plumbers pads (for leaky plumbing) or puppy training pads or just buy some disposable incontinence pants.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 27/05/2020 23:50

Got stuck for hours and hours on the M11 bringing dd2 back from uni once. The blokes were going for a wee. I decided I too would climb over the barrier and go for a wee. I had no choice! A lovely young woman called over and asked if she could go with me because she was too worried what people might think to go alone! Sometimes it's good being 50 something!

krispycreme · 27/05/2020 23:54

I think you'd of been better off taking a bucket.

CustardySergeant · 27/05/2020 23:59

"I once pissed on the front seat after getting caught short in a traffic jam."

Are you Sarah Millican? She confessed to doing that on Would I Lie To You

CountessFrog · 27/05/2020 23:59

Just use your mums toilet.

People have gone insane.

copperoliver · 28/05/2020 00:01

You should have brought a potty. X

DontStandSoClose · 28/05/2020 00:02

I don’t understand all the effort, I was thinking you’d got stuck behind a pile up and was desperate so had to pee in the car, why on Earth didn’t you just pee outside in a bush?

I have bad news about the car too, we were potty training one of our children during a holiday to France, totally forgot she wasn’t wearing a nappy after the beach, she fell asleep and pissed in the car seat. We took the seat out washed every bit in the sink and wiped every inch of the seat but our car stank of piss for about 3 months, we’d only got the car brand new 2 weeks before the holiday too. Very embarrassing if we had to give anyone a lift. I think the heat just made it worse. I don’t think you are going to get away with the stench to be honest.

Maybe time to invest in a she wee if you are too posh to pee behind a tree.

Teaformeplease · 28/05/2020 00:04

Go to a pet shop and buy a spray designed for toileting accidents. You can pretend you've got a dog. Those sprays contain enzymes that'll break down the smell-producing chemicals and noone will ever find out.

packetandtripe · 28/05/2020 00:07

@Lockheart I wasn't troll calling in the sense that someone came on here to start a fetish thread, I am sure regular posters are not immune to quirks. I guess it was a poor attempt at humour so, some will find it hilarious, others won't. The fact she/he had 3 nappies in possession... Jesus what a grim thread.

hotsouple · 28/05/2020 00:12

Better than a she-we ladies is a plastic sandwich bag with one corner cut off. You can just throw it away when you are done. Be careful to hold the bad though and not let it go slack.

NoMoreDickheads · 28/05/2020 00:16

Sorry to hear about your health issues and your car. :( YANBU Luckily where I go walking is quite quiet. :)

I agree with PeePees, just go behind a bush or something next time if desperate, and don't guzzle quite as much coke. Or I suppose you could always wear Tena Lady if you can get over the psychological hurdle of just going for it in them?

NellMangel · 28/05/2020 00:16

The two doors idea is good, never heard of that.

I keep puppy pads in the car in case I get stuck in traffic and need to pee. Unfortunately my bladder is completely unreliable these days. I might look into the cardboard bed pans someone mentioned.

DressingGownofDoom · 28/05/2020 00:22

The thing about the potty is every potty is a travel potty! If it's not a travel potty it's a toilet.

Anyway. Try Dr Beckmans carpet cleaner, it's brilliant.

DressingGownofDoom · 28/05/2020 00:25

'Diet Coke doesn't hydrate you.'

So if for some reason a person had nothing to drink for the rest of their live but Diet Coke they'd die of dehydration would they? Hmm

Bridecilla · 28/05/2020 00:26

You need a fabric softener bottle. Lenor have the widest lids... I checked them all in ASDA under the guise of sniffing them. I take one camping with me 😂

MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 00:36

That car is going to honk when the heat gets up.

Purpletigers · 28/05/2020 00:41

Next time just pee behind a hedge

Swipe left for the next trending thread