AIBU to be mad with the Estate Agent?

[Aquiliga]

We have just accepted an offer on our jointly owned property. I have single handedly dealt with all the meetings with the Estate Agent and the follow up paperwork. AIBU to be incandescent that when we received a letter from the Estate Agent this morning addressed only to my DH? It's not like they even know him (other than when he briefly called into the office for them to take a copy of his passport).

As others have said everyday sexism.
When I brought a new car, I asked DH to come with me just to check out its suitability for the DC. I did all the negotiations whilst he sat in the background and I paid for it. Imagine my surprise when I go to collect it and it has a stand in front of it 'congratulations Mr and Mrs x'.

I rented MY house out through an EA a couple of years ago.
Obviously I dealt with everything & when I received the tenancy agreement apparently the Landlord was Mr & Mrs....
I made them redo the whole thing which included getting the tenants back in to initial every page.
I didn’t make it into a sexism thing, i went for the ‘dont assume’ angle

Be pissed off for them being crap not for that.

I had this with our solicitors.
I put me down as person one and dh as person two. I’m Mrs John he is Mr John. Hardly a mystery.
The solicitor asked how we were related as they had assumed that because I was doing the paperwork and put myself down first I must be his sister and carer!

Once the transaction is done and dusted I'd leave online reviews for the company naming and shaming the individual. I had a similar experience buying my first car. DP tagged along as I needed a lift out to the showroom, but he left me to do the talking. Every question I asked the salesman he answered whilst only looking at my DP.

I signed up to our local wildlife trust, and as I could add a member for free I added my son, who realistically would probably use it once in a blue moon.
Imagine my surprise when my membership arrived addressed to Mr Fuss.
I did complain and my membership card was reissued with my name as lead details.

YANBU. I have similar conversations with our local Volkswagen garage.

I bought a car from them which is in my name. First time DH clapped eyes on the car was when I parked it on the driveway. Yet every few months the dealer phones my mobile calls my mobile asking to speak to Mr Rhubarb to remind him my car is due a service.

I ask them why they want to speak to DH about a car that has nothing to do with him and they talk to me as if I'm being slightly hysterical and over sensitive for being pissed off by this. Every few months they call and do exactly the same thing, despite me telling them to delete me from their marketing calls.

I wont ever buy a car from them again

This happened to me with NatWest (in 2016!). We opened a joint account and my husband was sent a cheque book in his name. I was sent a ‘two to sign’ chequebook which meant he had to also sign any bloody cheques I wrote! I hit the fucking roof and ended up with a complaint upheld by the Ombudsman as they couldn’t acknowledge their mistake.

It's infuriating isn't it?

Though if someone can riddle me this I'd be very grateful.

As a family we all use the same dentist.

As individuals we also use the same dentist.

So the kids and I have an appointment every three months.

DH when he can be arsed (teeth of steel).

DH has currently got an impacted wisdom tooth (yay Corona lock down cancelling the removal)

I've had three phonecalls and two emails for DH.

On MY Mobile and MY email address.

The receptionist even asked me if "it would be easier to arrange DHs future appointments via yourself"

Why? Why it would it be easier to interrupt my working day to discuss my husbands medical appointments, for me then to call him to tell him to call them? Fucks sake.

@Kelsoooo is your DH ignoring the dentist's phone calls and emails to him? If not, my excuse doesn't hold up!

Ah! I am now old enough to enjoy these moments.

Car salesman talking to DH? I walked away and DH followed me out. Salesman asks DH what was wrong, DH replies, ask her, she was your customer!

House purchase was easy though, everything was addressed to me first. Don't quite know how we managed that, but all house documents have my name first.

I called a local window company, came well recommended, and the woman arranging the appointment insisted DH would be in. When he rang she made no such demand that I would be in. I left a facebook comment and told them why I had gone with a rival local firm. They dealt with me, addressed the quote to me, explained some alternatives to me and have agreed with me to hold off on the final plan whilst I argue with the planning dept.

Even the planning office deal with me, address their daft requests to me.

But it is bloody ludicrous that it still happens.

suggest that you're so hacked off with them that you so not wish to progress with the sale - agree with PP you need a decent discount as compensation.

The dentist thing amused me - at school, my brother had lots of dental problems, I didn't. THings were arranged with blue medical cards for boys, pink for girls (it was the 60's). My brother has a name more frequently associated as a 'girls' name - they always used to see me instead, because I had the pink card.
They'd always be a bit bemused because none of the expected problems, I'd wait until I had the lollipop for going, then say they'd probably wanted to see my brother. Worked for about three years.

Yes, I know a lollipop for going to the dentist is weird.

I didn't change my name after I got married and I deal with a lot of the insurances, legal stuff etc.. and without fail we get letters addressed to Mr. Dingbat! Which isn't his name and he had nothing to do with it. It's infuriating.

We had this when we moved. DH was working abroad for a while and I emailed the solicitor to tell them this and ask that they contacted me due to time differences and signal issues. I went in to see him to drop off some documents and he kept on referring to me as Mr. Dee's wife. After the second time I asked him if he realised it was easier to just call me Mrs Dee.

They called DH every time they needed something and then when he didn't answer they emailed him. I called them and they weren't available so asked to call me back. Of course they called Dh. They sent an important letter - but didn't tell us they'd sent it- to DH and I didn't open it. They then called me to tell me they'd sent it and ask why I hadn't sent the stuff back.

DH emailed the person who owned the firm to ask why they were unable to contact me and said that we were considering changing firms due to their sexism and apparent incompetence. The owner ended up dealing with us from then and we didn't have to speak to the old solicitor again.

When I sold my house and bought a new one with my then partner the cheque I got sent for the profit from my house sale was in dp's name. He had nothing to do with the house or sale. It had to be reissued.

Same thing happened to me, they emailed my husband but not me. I was fuming ! We both signed the contract. I complained big time.

I’ve heard that a lot OP especially with property transaction. Even happened to some female single buyers who had fairly gender neutral names being addressed as ‘Mr.’ - no idea why there’s still so much sexism in the property market especially when lots of women are prime ministers / presidents, CEOs etc..!

How did they get his name if the paperwork was in your name? Normally the letters are just auto generated to whom is detailed in the system.

@Bluntness100 yes but that should still be challenged. Nationwide mailed our joint mortgage offer to my DH only, I complained, the complaint was upheld, but they did say it was a system issue that needed to be looked at on a wider level. I doubt anything has yet changed but doesn't mean it shouldn't be challenged.

Bluntness100 How did they get his name if the paperwork was in your name? Normally the letters are just auto generated to whom is detailed in the system

I put DH's details on estate agent form as joint owner. Therefore, it would have been appropriate to address any correspondence to both of us, but certainly not to DH only.

I like the idea from a PP of leaving a poor review after the sale is done and dusted. They say revenge is a dish best served cold!

I wouldn’t be bothered.

I'm a conveyancer, I draft the paperwork using the name of the person who I have been dealing with most (very often the woman) first and the other party (usually the man) second. It is quite funny to watch some of the men when they come in to sign the contract and transfer/conveyance and they realise they have to sign after their wife/partner, but can't complain without looking like a dick. I have had a couple of women insist they want to be named first though over the years.

I am sole owner and occupant (occasionally other occupants all legit). I get letters to Dear Mr. Fanta