To expect a bit of aftercare as a brand new mum?!

[QueenOfThePumpkins]

My lovely twins were born in mid February, a month early but generally well. They lost a bit too much weight to begin with and we had a week long stay in hospital.

Since lockdown, other than vaccinations we have had no input at all from health visitor, GP, or... Anyone. No idea what their accurate weights are, though I've had a go with the bathroom scales. I have a history of anxiety and depression and was always worried about PND, but thankfully I am feeling pretty happy just now and we are all coping well. Nobody at all has asked about my wellbeing. There is a health visitor helpline, but they were really unhelpful when I called for some feeding advice. I worry that if something was amiss then nobody would know, as I am so inexperienced and nobody else sees my babies other than DH.

Of course I feel very lucky to have had my babies before all the madness really started, but I really expected to at least have someone check up on us. My point is, I really worry for other new mums who aren't coping well, and all the babies that may be vulnerable and going under the radar. Is it just my area or is this happening all over?

That’s terrible! I know we’re in different and difficult times but a first time mum to twins could definitely use some support.

It was the same when I had ds in 2016. Maternity and post natal services in the uk are terrible.

Sounds like the norm sadly op.

Sounds similar to my experience back in 2017 - labour/delivery care was good but post-natal support and checks non-existent. This was in Edinburgh.

Interesting I’m over the bridge from Edinburgh and my post natal care was great. DS is nearly 16 months.

Gosh OP, that is very poor.
You sound like you are doing a great job.
Twins are very very busy!

Ring them again if you need to.
Don't be put off.

I completely agree with you, I feel enormous sympathy for mum's having babies, at an extremely difficult time.

I can imagine it must be very lonely for them.

Don't hesitate to reach out if you need support.

I know how you feel I had twins several years ago who spent over a month in NICU - I never had one visit at home or saw anyone after whatsoever! Absolutely appalling - when I asked why it was because I already had a child... the fact that my twins were prem and still very small etc made no difference

I found the same after I gave birth to my twins last March. They really do rely on you calling them if you have any concerns - I went to my gp a couple of times and they saw me very quickly on each occasion.

If you're worried then flag it to your health visitor and she will make a point of calling more regularly. Good luck - being a twin mum is just amazing

I've heard of amazing aftercare for twins, but unfortunately it was back in the 1990s. If you haven't been flagged as vulnerable, you would have to shout for support even without lockdown. House to house visiting is being discouraged currently. I remember being terrified about what to do with my first, you will doing an excellent job but don't get much feedback for getting it right unfortunately. It gets easier! And well done!

Whilst you had your children pre lockdown, you are unfortunate that all the non nhs streams of support are limited or closed.
I had my LO weighed at the local baby clinic, there are breastfeeding cafes and groups who can help. It’s an easy time to feel alone

Really weird. I had my little girl in November. The aftercare was really good. Had several visits. I’m not sure what’s happening re Covid in the area now (near Glasgow) but I do have a friend who just had a baby and said she will get a socially distanced visit.

I don't know that it's to do with lockdown. I had my twins in October - saw a health visitor at 2 weeks and 6 weeks and that was it - same as with my singleton two years previously. There's a local drop-in clinic for weighing and advice, which I struggled along to (try standing in a queue for 20 minutes with one baby strapped to you, another in your arms and a toddler running amok at your feet) and when I finally managed to speak to a health visitor, she was so dismissive that I was on the verge of tears. Had I not been so busy just keeping everyone alive and fed at that stage, I'd have lodged a formal complaint against her.

Sounds about right. Had our son in 2017, saw a HV when he was 2 weeks old and that was that.
If I wanted him weighing I had to take him to mothercare or the local library on a Monday afternoon where the HV had set up scales, but i had to weigh him and complete the chart in his red book myself.

That's a real shame. My friend had her DS a couple of weeks ago and she's had midwives and HV in a few times.

I've heard nothing from ours mind you, and am pretty sure DD was due at least one check.

I kind of know how you fee OP, I am currently 36+2 weeks with my first and I have had 1 appointment with a midwife at 20wks and seen no one since or had any of the mystical telephone consultations. I called to speak to them about a problem I was having and was made to feel so stupid they had me in tears and haven’t phoned since ( they also asked me if I had googled my symptoms which I thought you were never supposed to do? ) I don’t even have a birthing plan in place and was told on the same phone call “ no point in getting upset about it we can’t do anything for you right now, you do realise we are in the middle of a pandemic don’t you??? “ yes love believe me I do my DF had it and nearly died for Christ sake!! Reading your post makes me think things aren’t going to get better, but worse I have been booked in for a 38wk appointment but not holding my breath......

However, I hope you and your little ones are well and congratulations and it’s ok for people to say “ you should be grateful you and both baby’s are healthy “ but your not asking for the world your just asking to be treated the way others are. Hope things are ok xx

Sounds the same as what I experienced with my 3 (all singletons). I remember feeling surprised that after all the midwifery appts I was just left to manage a baby.

I don't think lockdown can help, but sadly, unless things have changed a LOT for the better since the 90s when I had my dc, I think this is more normal than you'd like to think.
Where I live, HVs have a HUGE caseload, even during the rare times they are fully staffed.
They (rightly) have to prioritise Child Protection issues, and it leaves very little time to aim for anything like what they would like to provide.

This is just standard OP (and I had my DS a year ago)

Just to add, postnatal care seems to be generally much better in both Scotland and Wales. England is really lagging

Bless you. I'm a mum to twins, 2 years. You can ask me anything but obviously I'm not a health professional. It's really bad there is no support, I don't agree with it personally. You're doing a great job.

Postnatal care is shockingly abysmal isn't it. Countless women left to suffer PND all alone, booted out of hospital without so much as a word of advice, woeful feeding support....our bodies practically tear in half with the most excruciating pain, the most exhausted we'll feel in our lives, and we're expected to get up 2 hours later and join a baby seat out the hospital.

I really really want us to go back to the days of my mum's era where women stayed in hospital for 1-2 weeks for guaranteed bed rest, a bossy matron controlled visitors and staff gave women breaks by taking the baby for a bit. Women's healthcare has done nothing but decline in quality for some time now. As no one gives a shit, because it's only women hey

That is really poor.

However, I'll admit my first thought was 'well, at least you didn't have to suffer a health visitor!'

My DD wasn't very well when she was born and was in for a few days; when she was discharged the HV turned up. Great, we thought. HV visited daily insisting we had to bottle feed DD a certain amount each day, and if she continued to lose weight, she'd be returned to hospital. The same woman made us both feel guilty for suggesting my partner had PND (after a traumatic labour), and claimed that the fact we were thinking about this showed we didn't care enough about our baby.

We later discovered she had been asking us to force feed a newborn enormously more milk than was right, so our DD had been vomiting it up and losing weight; the more we'd tried to go by her rules, the worse we'd made it. I still feel guilty.

Please do keep going with what you have got: common sense, your partner's common sense, and advice on the net. It really could be a lot better than the actively damaging 'help' health visitors sometimes provide.

I don't think it's a lockdown thing, I had my daughter just shy of 6 weeks early, we had a two week stay in hospital, I saw my HV 4 times. Then I went to her review with a community nursery nurses once and have heard nothing since. She is a year old next month so I imagine they'll want to speak to us around then maybe?

Luckily the NICU community outreach team run a support group once a fortnight up until a year old so I was able to go there, could you see if there is anything like that available?

I completely understand!

I had my second baby on the 28th of Feb this year. We haven't seen anyone since dd was 2 weeks old.
My postnatal check and her baby check have been completely cancelled, not even a telephone appt to speak about my mental health.
I was worried about her weight as she's dropped from the 75th to the 25th centile and when I rang the HV they told me to forget about weighing her at home as its inaccurate and not to worry about vaccinations, just wait until this is all over.

GP was absolutely useless when I called about weight concerns as well, didn't even have access to a centile chart to have a look. I also mentioned to the GP how anxious I was and that I thought it was post natal related and she just brushed me off saying its probably because of lockdown and covid 19.
I feel absolutely abandoned by my local health team.

It was the same before this. I was given a printed and cut out tiny strip of paper (we're talking 2cm height with a long and specific website url) to look at by my health visitor in 2012 because they "weren't allowed to give out leaflets any more". Once babies are out, you're on your own. It's amplified given the current situation.